at Page 2513 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Berman: It Is Useless To Resist
Via Sports by Brooks comes further proof that, although nature and common sense would seem to dictate otherwise, our nation's women are helpless before the visage of Berman. We sincerely believe that he can point at a woman any time he wishes — like James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian — and she ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. Boxer Wladimir Klitschko: How many Rocky IV jokes can one man endure? • 1 p.m. Iowa TE Scott Chandler: How many ice silos did you climb this morning? • 2 p.m. ESPN.com's Greg Garber: Congratulations, you're the new ESPN ombudsm...
It Is Not Wise To Welch On Mayoral Bets
So here's a bad idea: When you're the mayor of a team that's playing in the NFC Championship game, and you're on the line with the opposing city's radio flagship, it's not a good idea to make promises you can't keep....
Tom Brady Clearly Missed Some Health Classes In High School
So, it's beginning to seem like Tom Brady has some preternaturally talented swimmers....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you ask God for two forms of ID ... • College basketball: Big East Conference, first round, at New York, Connecticut vs. Syracuse; Providence vs. West Virginia; Marquette vs. St. John's. Ass, meet couch. [ESPN] • College basketball: Northeast Conference, championship game, Sacred...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NBA with David Thorpe: Who can do more situps, you or Udonis Haslem? • 1 p.m. Tennis with Peter Bodo: Are you the only writer that Ron Borges hasn't "borrowed" from? • 2 p.m. Colorado kicker Mason Crosby: About how far do you thi...
Only A Dog Knows Of The Growing Phanatic Menace
A confession: We are terrified by the Phillie Phanatic. Everything about him creeps us out: That weird tongue thing he shoots out, the googly eyes that we see in our nightmares, the purple (purple!) eyelashes. He's not a monster, he's not cuddly, he's not a being with any recognizable cousins in the...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch, as explained by the Chicago Tribune's Rick Morrissey ... • College basketball: Mid-Continent Conference, championship game, at Tulsa; Horizon League, championship game, Butler at Wright State [ESPN]; Sun Belt Conference, championship game, at Lafayette, La. Getting to play your confer...
Baseball Season Preview: Pittsburgh Pirates
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
A <em>Real</em> Team Would Play A Tripleheader
More proof that our man Ron Zook — ARE YOU INTENSE ENOUGH FOR ZOOK???!!! — is a genius and is a force with which to be reckoned: He's smart enough to schedule games against teams who already have games scheduled that day....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Baseball with Rob Neyer: Will Sosa find a way to actually inject steroids into his bat? • 2 p.m. NASCAR with Terry Blount: Did you see UNC's Tyler Hansbrough upside down and on fire on Sunday? • 4 p.m. NCAA MBB w/Doug Gottlieb: A...
It's Clear That The World Needs Shaq Now More Than Ever
Of course you've seen him in hot pursuit of criminals in the Shaqmobile, and it's no secret that he snaps into action whenever President Bush activates his signal watch, helping to preserve the honor and dignity of this nation's highest office. And sure he can bust through walls. But now here's Shaq...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Chinese Olympic mascots plot your next fevered nightmare ... • College basketball: Colonial Athletic Association, championship game, George Mason vs. Virginia Commonwealth, at Richmond, Va.; West Coast Conference, championship game, at Portland, Ore. [ESPN]; Metro Atlantic Conferenc...
A Game You And Your Nine Year Old Daughter Can Play Together
So there's this site — Tim Hardaway can tell you all about it — called Stardoll, where you can virtually dress up all the stars into whatever outfits you want them to wear. Apparently, it's a complicated endeavor, with competitions and rankings and all kinds of things that we would consider complete...
Don't Expect Your Rec League To Adopt These
These, friends, are the future of college basketball uniforms, and that future is: SPANDEX! OK, not quite Spandex, but there's certainly a skin-tight vibe going on for the four teams who will supposedly try out the new duds during their conference championships this week: Ohio State, Syracuse, Flori...
Tar Heel Blue Nation Seeing Red Today, Not Surprisingly
A lot of vitriol flowing around the Web this morning, most of it aimed at Gerald Henderson and Duke. But none seemed more perturbed at the roundhouse elbow to the probiscus of Tyler Hansbrough than the Tar Heels men's cheerleading squad, who were in Henderson's face, dude! You do not want to anger p...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NCAA MBB with Andy Katz: Ever take an elbow to the face while rebounding? A knee to the face? Ever get a rebound? • 3 p.m. Notre Dame's Derek Landri: Any regrets at missing by one year the opportunity to annihilate Jimmy Clausen ...
Billy Packer, Information Dissemination Specialist
Of all the "Sweet Christ, Billy Packer is so full of equine excrement" moments, we have to say, the "Just Going For The Ball!" foul from Gerald Henderson on Tyler Hansbrough at the end of the Duke-UNC game is definitely near the top of the list. Whatever your thoughts on the reason for Henderson's a...
To Watch Tonight...
• Women's College Basketball. SEC Tournament Final. I'd look up who's playing, but... I don't want to. If you care, you already know. If you don't care, you're not going to. Fair enough? 7:30, ESPN2. • NBA Basketball. Utah Jazz @ New Orleans Hornets. Since "Jazz" was never really an appropriate moni...
To Watch Tonight...
• College Basketball. Austin Peay vs. Eastern Kentucky. One team will rule the Ohio Valley ... the other will be left to rule some other less prestigious valley. 8:00, ESPN2. • Movie. Any Given Sunday. Sorry coach, but I don't think I'm ready to die for that inch. 8:00, FX. • College Basketball. Pit...