at Page 2522 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When The Hand Of God Is Also A Registered Weapon
At last, the tyranny of Wrestling for Jesus may be over. Those guys will be running for the hills when faced with the might of Karate for Christ, a movement with more than 400,000 members who will turn the other cheek just so often. It is not known whether Jesus used The Crane technique in his teach...
See? Michael Vick Has Never Smoked Pot, Ever!
At last, the pristine and sacred names of Michael Vick and Ron Mexico can be cleared, no longer to be sullied with such filthy innuendo: It turns out that everybody's favorite HSV Type 2 carrier didn't have marijuana with him on a planet last week after all....
Man, The Cops Just Won't Leave Those Bengals Alone
You know, honestly, we almost feel bad bringing this up, because this is the type of thing Bad Media People do: They see an athlete do something "bad," even an athlete who, like in this case, they'd never heard of beforehand, and just draw large-scale conclusions based on sketchy facts and uninforme...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Live from the Senior Bowl!: The exclamation point stands for fun! (Kill us). • 1 p.m. MLB with Gary Gillette: Are you prepared to say the words "Chase Utley, highest-paid athlete in all the universe?" • 4 p.m. Giants' DE Osi Umen...
AFC Blogdome: A Colt From The Blue
What they're saying in Blogopolis after Sunday's AFC championship game (predictably, Stampede Blue has wasted no time going to the Karate Kid photos) ......
Peyton Manning, An Image Now In Need Of An Upgrade
A confession to make: We like dynasties. We don't like them because it's fun to watch one team win everything, because it isn't. We like them because they provide clear, distinct rooting interests and fault lines. The Patriots always beat the Colts, Peyton Manning can't figure out the Patriots, one ...
Patriots vs. Colts, AFC Championship Game: 4th Quarter
- Not to go all Bill Simmons on you, but what we have here—a one score conference championship game with two of the best quarterbacks in the game—is pretty damn sweet....
Patriots vs. Colts, AFC Championship Game: 3rd Quarter
- Terrence Wilkins gets crunched by Larry Izzo on the opening kickoff of the second half....
Patriots vs. Colts, AFC Championship Game: 2nd Quarter
- It'll be a 3rd and 1 for the Pats when the 2nd quarter starts. I think they've got to get the ball to Logan Mankins here....
Patriots vs. Colts, AFC Championship Game: 1st Quarter
- I'm not really into trophy presentations, so I think I'll go ahead and switch the channel. On the other hand, I'm not really into Dan Marino interviewing Tom Brady, either. Hey, college wrestling on CSTV. Sweet....
To Watch Tonight...
• Tennis. Australian Open, Round of 16. You're not going to watch this. 7:00, ESPN2. • Women's College Basketball. Rutgers @ Louisville. You're not going to watch this, either. 7:00, ESPNU. • NFL. Postgame NFL Afterglow. This one has a chance. Anytime, ESPN or NFL Network....
College Hoops Compendium: UCLA Is Kinda Good
• (2) UCLA 73, (12) Arizona 69. UCLA's now lost three straight Pac-10 games for the first time since Lute Olson's hair was... actually, I think that guy was born with a full head of shiny silver hair. It may actually just be a chrome plate at this point. UCLA didn't even have Luc Richard Mbah a Mout...
To Watch Tonight...
• College Basketball. Iowa @ Ohio State. Monitor the progress of Greg Oden's beard. 8:00, ESPNU. • College Football. Dell East-West Shrine Game. Dude, you're gettin' a worthless football game. 7:00, ESPN. • College Basketball. Georgia Tech @ North Carolina. I'm sure there will be many diaper-diandie...
Noble Is The Player Who Strives To Find a Bargain Toilet Seat
Fortunately, soccer fans in England aren't the type to heckle a guy over something like this:...
The NBA's Shame
I've been critical of David Stern and his obsessively fascist measures to cultivate a friendly, lilly-white non-threatening image for the NBA, but perhaps I was misguided on that....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after an exhausting afternoon of Winnie the Pooh Day festivities ... • Boxing: Light welterweights, champion Randall (George) Bailey vs. Michael (The Roaming Gnome) Warrick, for IBA championship, at Key West, Fla. [ESPN2]; Junior featherweights, Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Cuauhtemoc (The At...
AFC Championship Pants Party: Colts Vs. Patriots
All right, Colts-Pats. We'll take it. It's a canned storyline, but it's still a fun one ... particularly if Peyton Manning has to drive the Colts down the field with less than two minutes and the Pats up by, like, four. That sounds amazing....
Final Proof (Mostly): The NHL Rigged The All-Star Vote
Eric McErlain told us last week, and now Slate, in an Investigative! Report!, confirms it: The Rory Fitzpatrick vote was rigged by the NHL, assuring that he would not make the All-Star Team....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Bracketology with Joe Lunardi: Is it right for my wife to describe our scheduled lovemaking this Saturday as "a play-in game?" • 3 p.m. Mid-Majors with Kyle Whelliston: Do you think that Creighton has a chance in the ... oh no, ...
Ice Jumping Seems To Be Rather Important In Norway
As you might have suspected, we do not speak Norwegian; we're not even that fluent in Swedish Chef. So we're going from a rough translation here, but apparently a Norwegian women's ski jumping team is in trouble for punishing poor jumps by punching the offender in the face....