att Page 245 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Former NBA Big Man Matt Geiger Was "Relocated" From Tropicana Field For Interfering With Carlos Peña On A Foul Ball
On a lazy Sunday in April, Matt Geiger—journeyman center for the Miami Heat, Charlotte Hornets and Philadelphia 76ers—probably enjoys soaking in the sun and taking in a ballgame. Not necessarily at the same time, though, since he was at The Trop causing a scene and interfering with Carlos Peña on ...

Clearly, Steroids Are Still A Problem In Major League Baseball
Witness the physique of the hero known only as The Mighty K.C., who terrorizes the children who can be found amongst the 100, 200, 300, 400, 500, or 600 fans who are just there, there, at Safeco Field; having done his work, he heads off into the great unknown....

There Are Already Lots Of Empty Seats At Marlins Games
All right, so, there's nothing worse and more useless than attendance stories in April. Still: here's one anyway. The Marlins, despite that fancy new ballpark, haven't even been close to filling the place....

How To Earn A One-Game Suspension In The NHL Playoffs
Attack and repeatedly punch a defenseless player. Jump into a scuffle and pound on a defenseless player from behind, and pull his hair. Take runs at two separate players, ringing two bells on one shift. Give a cross-check shove to a player's face after he tripped your team's star....

Twenty Citizens' Worth Of Blood Flowed Through Him: A Medic Confronts The Open Wounds Of Afghanistan
This was originally written for Deadspin's Blood Week, but shit happens and we're running it now....

On NHL Suspensions And Eggshell Skulls
Shea Weber shoves Henrik Zetterberg's head into the glass: fine, no suspension. Byron Bitz hits Kyle Clifford from behind, sending him into the boards: two-game suspension. Matt Carkner sucker punches Brian Boyle, continuing to hit him after he goes down: one-game suspension. Carl Hagelin elbows Da...

History Lesson: The Time Matt Millen Punched The Patriots' General Manager In The Head
An occasional feature in which we recall notable incidents that we would've covered the hell out of had we existed at the time....

Mets Announce Largest Crowd In Citi Field History, Apparently Counting Empty Seats As Fans
The Mets' announced attendance of 42,080 is the largest in the three-plus years of Citi Field. This is a stunning turnaround from this morning, when thousands of tickets were still available. And an even more stunning turnaround from earlier in the game, when it sure as hell looked like there were a...

The Angry, Angry Coaches Of The Final Four: A Video Compilation
Tonight's Final Four promises some great on the court action, both in the intrastate battle between Kentucky and Louisville, and in the Ohio State vs. Kansas game. The games also feature four prominent college basketball Coaches in John Calipari, Rick Pitino, Thad Matta, and Bill Self....

Matt Hendricks Is: The Paralyzer
Washington's Matt Hendricks is a bruiser, not a scorer. But the Capitals forward has discovered a secret weapon that renders goalies powerless, and he's been dominating shootouts this month relying on that same move every time. Pump fake, goalie goes down, easy score....

Wes Welker, Clay Matthews and DeMarcus Ware Play Great In Adult Diapers
Normally we don't like to post commercials. But there's something so determined about little Wes Welker. Oh, it's for (an undefined, nebulous) charity? Wes Welker will wear the shit out of your adult diapers. And Clay Matthews and DeMarcus Ware give in to peer pressure a little too easily. If that...

Tripping Basketballs: Hoopsters Are Alive And Well At The Ultra Music Festival
While we declared the end to the Hoopster trend a year and a half ago, the Hoopsters show no signs of quitting—certainly not at this past weekend's Ultra music fest in Miami. For the uninitiated, Ultra is the social event for college kids who love Ecstasy and sort of like electronic music. Here are...

AWOL Army Soldier Accused Of Stealing Identity Of Seahawks And Trail Blazers Owner Paul Allen
Brandon Lee Price was listed as AWOL from the U.S. Army. He was wanted for being a deserter. He needed money. So he did what he could: He attempted to steal the identity of one of the wealthiest men on the planet. The FBI says Price changed the address on a bank account belonging to Paul Allen, the ...

Marshawn Lynch Will Star Alongside Gary Busey And Lee Majors In Cowboy-Themed Movie
The Pacific Northwest is a weird place. We stay away from Portlandia and the like because we know there are strange happenings afoot....

The Marlins' Home Run Sculpture Is The Whirling, Flashing, Spouting Heart Of Baseball At Its Best
Tacky! Boy, is that new kinetic sculpture beyond the Marlins’ outfield fence tacky. Tacky like their tacky new uniforms are tacky. Tacky like the Miami Marlins’ tackily alliterative revised name, highlighting the tacky metropolis they call home. ...

Here's A Briefcase-Wielding Zombie Invading The Set Of The U.K.'s Channel Four News
I don't care to fathom much explanation for this. It's weird, and sometimes weird things are best left up to their own interpretations. (But, seriously, anyone heard anything from the Brits lately?)...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: No Matter What
This is a feature wherein we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

Lacrosse Player Caps Off Hat Trick With The Most Ridiculous Goal Ever
If you only see one lacrosse goal in your life, make it this lacrosse goal. John Grant, Jr. of the Colorado Mammoth delivers, based on my limited experience, the best goal ever. While it may not be "Sportscenter top 10, number one" material—we are still talking about lacrosse, here—it is pretty sw...

Bobby Jenks And Matt Bush Were Both Charged With DUIs In Florida In The Past 24 Hours
Bobby Jenks (right), who plays for the Red Sox and is not fat anymore, was arrested at 3:43 a.m. in Lee County, Fla., and was charged with DUI, property damage, and leaving the scene of an accident in which property was damaged. He was released at 8:45 this morning....

Quarterback Musical Chairs Leaves The Dolphins Standing Alone In A Corner
The Miami Dolphins do not have a quarterback, and now there are no good quarterbacks left....