aw Page 276 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please Return Cassius Marsh's Stolen <i>Magic: The Gathering</i> Cards
I’ve never lost my Magic: The Gathering cards to anything more malicious than a sofa cushion, but I can fathom the pain Seattle Seahawks linebacker Cassius Marsh is feeling after his Land Rover was broken into on Tuesday night. What follows is a tragic sequence of events, and a translation....
The Blackhawks Are Hot As Hell
We’re nearly a fifth of the way through the season (already!), and while the Canadiens have the best record, and the Rangers the best goal differential, there is no team hotter than the Chicago Blackhawks. It’s a bit of a surprise, given their roster turnover and the number of unproven young players...
How An American Woman In Afghanistan Trains For A Marathon
“Women can’t walk outside at all, to say nothing of running,” Jessica Wright told me. They’re not supposed to be seen. Particularly as a foreigner, you literally can’t walk anywhere, not even covered. So I did all my training for the marathon on a treadmill in a tiny room in my boss’s house.”...
NFL Admits Officials Screwed Over The Bills
The Buffalo Bills got pretty dang dicked over last night during their 31-25 loss to the Seattle Seahawks....
Dan Carpenter's Wife Threatens Richard Sherman's Nuts
Rex Ryan and the Buffalo Bills were fuming after Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman got away with throwing himself at kicker Dan Carpenter on a field goal attempt right before halftime of Monday’s game. Carpenter’s wife Kaela, who grew up in Montana, had a very regional reaction to Sherman’s tactic...
Seahawks Fan Calls Bills Coach "Waitress"; Woman Next To Him Slaps Him
A Seahawks fan said some sexist shit to Bills special teams quality control coach Kathryn Smith as she walked to the field in Monday’s game, but was swiftly reprimanded by the woman standing next to him....
All Hell Breaks Loose On Bills Field Goal Attempt
With three seconds left in the first half of the Seahawks-Bills game, chaos took over....
Government Alleges Collusion Kept The Dodgers Off The Air In Southern California<em></em>
Three years ago the Los Angeles Dodgers partnered with Time Warner Cable to create SportsNet LA, a regional sports network that carries Dodgers games and no other interesting programming. The deal was worth a reported $7 to $8 billion over 25 years for the team, by far baseball’s largest local telev...
The Canucks And Maple Leafs Fought A Lot Last Night
The Vancouver Canucks and Toronto Maple Leafs spent most of the third period hitting, grabbing, shoving, and fighting each other Saturday. The anger eventually boiled over into a line brawl....
Oh, This Is Fantastic
Marshawn Lynch returned to Cal tonight, and he’s back on the cart to celebrate the tenth anniversary of that event:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Played Like Shit Yesterday
The most shocking scoreline of yesterday’s round of Champions League matches was definitely the 3-3 draw between reigning European champions Real Madrid and Polish giants (but European minnows) Legia Warsaw. How could a team of Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema, and—above all—Cristiano Ronaldo fail to beat...
Former Baylor AD Reportedly Asked For Immunity For Football Players Under Investigation
Since turning down a $1.5 million settlement from Baylor, Patty Crawford has been on quite the media tour. She rejected the money because it would have prevented her from speaking publicly about what happened at Baylor over the past two years, and since she left the school less than a month ago, she...
Craig Anderson Posts Shutout In Emotional Return After Wife's Cancer Diagnosis
There is, I think, something universal to be taken from Senators goalie Craig Anderson’s return to the team after a truncated personal leave to be with his wife Nicholle, who was recently diagnosed with cancer: When life gets hard, you can always lose yourself in your passion, or your work, and idea...
Earl Thomas Penalized For Celebrating With An Official
Earl Thomas returned a Saints fumble for touchdown, then tried to celebrate with the side judge. He didn’t take kindly to it....
Former Gymnast Alleges USA Gymnastics Enabled, Ignored Pattern Of Sexual Abuse
In a lawsuit filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, a former member of the United States gymnastics team alleged that Marta and Bela Karolyi (legendary USA Gymnastics coaches) and others helped create a “regime of intimidation” and abuse that allowed Dr. Larry Nassar to sexually abuse a series o...
I Will Read Every Story About How Terrific Marshawn Lynch Is
You’ve now got your reading assignment for the day: In the Seattle Times, reporter Jayson Jenks asked a handful of Seahawks if they have any particular memories of Marshawn Lynch being a cool guy. It seems they like talking about their former teammate as much as I like hearing about him....
This Testy Poker Hand Is Excruciating To Watch<em></em>
Okay so you’ve got two weird poker guys here, which is not surprising because this is the main event of the World Series of Poker and all poker guys are weird. One poker guy, Will Kassouf, spends what feels like hours trying to goad the other poker guy, Griffin Benger, into tipping his hand. Kassouf...
Bruce Arians Can't Wait For NFL's "All Bullshit" Explanation Of Controversial Blocked FG
Please do not drink the Flavor Aid and let anyone tell you last night’s game—at 6-6, the lowest-scoring tie since the NFL introduced overtime in 1974—was “good” or “watchable” or “a better use of your time than going to sleep early and starting the week rested.” Special-teams incompetence, an Arizon...
We Are All Living In Hell [Update]
There is no ever-loving deity. There is only Satan himself, handling the levers and pulleys that guide our lives, our limbs, our souls. Update: ...
Chicago Cubs Are National League Champions<em></em>
The Cubs just needed to win a game. And so they did, shutting out the Dodgers 5-0 Saturday night to earn a trip to the World Series for the first time since 1945. That was so long ago (how long ago was it?!) that this marks their first ever NLCS win as the World War II-era pennant was a simple matt...