aw Page 386 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maria Sharapova Is Pimping Her Stupid Candy, And Other Important Storylines: A U.S. Open Preview
You could argue the turning point of the 2012 U.S. Open—which starts today—already happened. Well, three turning points, actually....
Joe Buck Is Attempting To Grow A Beard
Joe Buck is an old pal of ours, so I must express some alarm at his current approach to facial grooming. It appears to be having a significant and negative effect on his colleagues, as seen before yesterday's Broncos-49ers game in Denver. The power of Joe Buck's protobeard has put Terry Bradshaw to...
Lance Barrett Tosses A.J. Pierzynski And Robin Ventura, Shameless Homer Hawk Harrelson Goes Off Again
"Lance Barrett's just stunk the joint up, is all he's done, that's all he's done...he's terrible." Hawk, you might recall, got into a bit of a pickle when he referred to umpire Mark Wegner as "brutal" and "totally absurd" while questioning his baseball knowledge. He got a stern talking to from Bud ...
Reports: Boston Red Sox And Los Angeles Dodgers Agree To Crazy Trade
Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford and Josh Beckett appear to be on the move. While the teams have yet to officially announce the trade, barring any medical snafus or no-trade clause invocations, this crazy deal appears to be a crazy done deal. ...
Shia LaBeouf Wants You To Take Him Seriously
Being successful sure is nice, but what everybody really wants is to be taken seriously. Whether it's Woody Allen following up Annie Hall with the dour Interiors, George Michael turning away from the pop stardom of Faith for the confessional Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1, or Robin Williams decidin...
![That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17wzi2p4tznkxjpg.jpg)
That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]
Carl Crawford cleared waivers a couple weeks ago. Josh Beckett is on the wire too. Today, it was reported that Adrian Gonzalez was claimed by the Dodgers. The Red Sox want to get younger and cheaper. The Dodgers have the means, motive and opportunity to go for a title now. These are all the ingredie...
Lance Armstrong Drops Fight Against Doping Charges, Will Likely Be Stripped Of Tour Titles And Banned For Life
Seven-time Tour de France-winning cyclist Lance Armstrong has dropped his fight against doping charges leveled at him by the US Anti-Doping Agency. This means that he likely will be stripped of each Tour de France title and banned from competitive cycling for life. Specifically, he'll be stripped o...
Metta World Peace's <em>Yo Gabba Gabba!</em> Cameo Was As Odd As You'd Think
Having no children, I've never seen Yo Gabba Gabba! and did some research to find out what I've been missing. I think Drew pretty much nailed it back in 2009:...
"Cy-ber Young," A 200-Pound Robot, Threw Out Tonight's First Pitch In Detroit
When the robot army eventually rises up and enslaves all of Earth's citizens some years from now, I hope we all have the foresight to remember this day, when a 200-pound robot named "Cy-ber Young" took the mound at Comerica Park and showed that it could accurately hit a target with a baseball. It ...
Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Is "Meaner Than Anyone In The World," Writes Little Girl
The trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner: not doing so hot. "Aesthetically dead if not actually dead," the university said last week. (Still, they might be doing better than Harvey Updyke, who is living in his car in the woods as he awaits trial.) The oaks received a massive pruning earlier this month,...
Counterpoint: Aw, Screw Ryan Lochte
Yesterday Sean headed off the typical pile-on after an athlete misstep by contextualizing Ryan Lochte as, rather than the preeminent dumb jock of our time, just the latest in a long line of tacky and oblivious athlete-mannequins that have always been around. Not a parable, not a lesson—just another ...
A Freaking Baby Has Witnessed Two Perfect Games This Season
The kid's name is Bode Dockal and he was at Safeco Field for both Phil Humber's perfect game for the White Sox back in April and more recently, Felix Hernandez's gem earlier this week against the Rays....
Woman Who Sat For A While On A Hot Bench Outside Cowboys Stadium Now Suing Jerry Jones
How long were you on this planet before you realized that hot things hurt, and you shouldn't touch them? A few months? A year or two, tops? So when you see a black marble bench, baking in a summer Texas sun on a 101-degree day, maybe you think, hey, it's probably hot, I shouldn't sit there. And even...
Today In Metta World Peace Will "Portray A Gregarious And Overtly Sexual Vampire Elder" News
You ever wake up earlier than usual, check your phone to see what time it is and see that you have new emails waiting for you? You obviously check it because, well, what if there was something cool in one of those new emails. Most of the time it's just something stupid and you go back to sleep kind...
Here Is A Picture Of John Daly's Ass, For Prostate Cancer Awareness
The ass you see here belongs to golf's loveable rapscallion, John Daly. Daly, by the way, is currently tied for 16th at the PGA Championship with a +1 going into today's third round action. As you can see, Daly wore these pants yesterday. These pants are black with neon-colored hands with their ind...
Andre Iguodala Too Busy Eating At McDonald's To Pose For Photo With Serena Williams And Other USA Basketball Players
This photo was posted by Serena Williams, and it looks like LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Tyson Chandler, Deron Williams, James Harden, and Kobe Bryant were eager to go along. Not Andre Iguodala, however. Maybe when the photographer said to say, "Cheese," he just couldn't help himself....
Here's Video Evidence That Lolo Jones's Teammates Straight Up Do Not Like Her
When we last talked about the Lolo Jones backlash, it was easy to get the impression that the New York Times had gone rogue, drumming up an antagonism where none truly existed, and repackaging quotes from Jones's teammates and an "expert" to serve as a mouthpiece for their own gripes....
Jay Cutler Spawned
Jay Cutler and that one lady from that one reality show welcomed their first child into the world this morning. As reported by the one lady's Twitter account, Camden Jack Cutler entered the world as a healthy, seven-pound, nine-ounce baby boy. We assume that Bears fans are already complaining about ...
How To Crip Walk: A Guide To Serena Williams's Very American Gold Medal Celebration
Maybe you've heard that Serena Williams, the greatest female American tennis player of all time, did a controversial dance after winning gold in singles at the Olympics over the weekend....
Someone Wrote That Stupid Column About Serena Williams Crip Walking We Were All Waiting For
We practically begged for this yesterday and Reid Forgrave over at Fox Sports happily obliged because the "Royal Gods of Wimbledon" (always capitalized, I checked) made the American flag fall down. Or something....