bach Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
College Softball Coach: The Only Reason I Constantly Walked In On Players Changing Was To Use Microwave<em></em>
The University of Missouri-Kansas City women’s softball team is embroiled in a long-running controversy surrounding one of its assistant coaches. According to a report by The Kansas City Star, Greg Bachkora allegedly engaged in sexual harassment and other inappropriate behavior around the players, a...
Ex-NFLer Colton Underwood Learns The Rules Of The <i>Bachelorette</i> Fantasy Suite Fuck, Gets Sent Home
Team, it’s been a good run. Well, actually, it’s been a run full of trials and tribulations. Quite frankly, I had higher hopes for us. But part of being a good coach is knowing when to accept defeat and that’s what happened during Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette, in which Colton—former NF...
<i>Bachelorette</i> Contestant And Former NFLer Colton Underwood Eats Conch, Reveals He's A Virgin
Team, you may be wondering: What kind of coach is leading us? Why would she go radio silent for weeks on end? Well, I’m a firm believer in being quiet until it’s worth being heard, and this week it was time to whip out the bullhorn. Colton, former NFL player and founder of the Colton Underwood Lega...
The Football Player Flips A Log On <i>The Bachelorette</i>, And The Football Knower Gets Eliminated
Team, there are roster cuts every week, but this round was tough. Our numbers have been depleted during an away game in Park City, Utah. (Lucky for them, the state’s previously stringent liquor laws have abated in recent years; if they hadn’t, it’s hard to imagine our players would have performed a...
Romantic <i>Bachelorette </i>Football Game Ends In An Injury To An Actual NFL Player
Team, Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette was a rough one. Not only did we lose two soldiers to injury, but our game was in danger of being pushed back because of a pesky little thing called the “NBA Finals,” and was still interrupted by a fascist dictator meeting with a wannabe fascist dicta...
The Athletes Hit A Slump This Week On <i>The Bachelorette</i>, But Lil Jon Showed Up
Okay, team. This week was a rambunctious one, full of so many twists and turns that none of us could really follow the playbook. As the season goes on, the chaff will be cut and the roster will really start to gel. But in the meantime, as your stern but loving coach, I’m here to make clear what real...
"I'm Having A Ball Right Now!": How The Sports Men Did On The Premiere Of <i>The Bachelorette</i>
Well, here I am, team. Despite what I told myself about not being able to put my body through another season, what with the countless pep talks and endless late nights and the cold Gatorade showers, I’m back. Team, I don’t know how, I don’t know why (well, to be very frank, I do know why: that $$$ c...
Two More NFL Network Execs Out Amid Sexual Harassment Investigation
Two NFL Network executives, Mike Mandt and Dan Dieffenbach, are out according to network spokesperson Alex Riethmiller, who declined any further comment. But sources tell Deadspin the pair’s exit is related to an internal investigation into reports of sexual harassment at the network, being oversee...
Joba Chamberlain Wraps Up One Of The Stranger Baseball Careers
Joba Chamberlain, after parts of 10 big-league seasons with four clubs, hasn’t pitched since July of 2016, and now says he’s done....
Report: Rex Ryan Flirted With Bachelorette Party By Complimenting Feet, Winking, Saying "You Know What I Like"<em></em>
Lest you think Rob and Rex Ryan’s wild weekend in Nashville was only about watching hockey and fighting people in a Margaritaville restaurant, a report from Busted Coverage shows that there was also some flirting with a bachelorette party in that same Margaritaville....
Why Do So Many Goddamn Sportswriters Watch <i>The Bachelor</i>?
If there’s one thing I know about old sportswriters, it’s that they love Bruce Springsteen. HURRRRR WELL DURRRRR ME AND SALLY WE COULDA MADE IT BUT THEN I LOST MY UNION CARD BRRRRGHH....
If You Want To Know What Potential Trump Cabinet Member Kris Kobach Plans To Do It's All Written On This Piece Of Paper
Yesterday, Donald Trump held more meetings with all sorts of people hoping to ingratiate themselves with the president-elect. Among them was Kris Kobach, the deeply anti-immigrant secretary of state of Kansas who was thought to be Trump’s pick for attorney general, but now may be in the running for ...
Abby Wambach Still Has Idiotic Takes On The USMNT's Dual Nationals
In an interview with the New York Times, noted bad opinion-haver Abby Wambach was given another opportunity to show her ass on the topic of the USMNT’s use of foreign-born players. Unfortunately, she couldn’t resist:...
Sorry Nice Guy, Your Sad-Sack Routine Doesn’t Mean You Deserve Hot Babes
Of course you don’t watch The Bachelorette. Of course. Not at all. But if you did, and if you happened to catch last night’s episode, you would have met singer/songwriter/that-name-haver James Taylor. (Actually you would have already met him and probably forgotten because of all that is Chad.)...
How To Survive A Vegas Bachelor Party
If you’ve ever been suckered into being a best man, it’s a conversation that’s bound to come up eventually. Your brother/best friend/weird cousin who doesn’t have any close friends outside his World of Warcraft guild has proposed to the love of his life, and, miracle of miracles, she said yes. You n...
The Case For Having A Joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
If you’ve been dreaming of strippers and penis-shaped candy since puberty, clear it with your soon-to-be-spouse (both the specific plans and your marriage priorities) and party on. But allow me to make the case for a combined celebration—yes, a bachelor/bachelorette party wherein the groom and bride...
USMNT Players Ether Abby Wambach
USWNT legend Abby Wambach has had a rough stretch of late. If you recall a few months ago, Wambach had some very dumb thoughts about foreign players representing the USMNT. This weekend, she was arrested and charged with a DUI. And after that news broke, the USMNT’s Alejandro Bedoya tied both incide...
Abby Wambach Arrested For DUI
Last night, according to Portland, Ore. police, Abby Wambach was arrested after running a red light and subsequently failing a field sobriety test. She then failed a breathalyzer test at the central precinct, was booked, and was later released on her own recognizance. From a release, which can be re...
Some Tragic Displays of Athletic Competition on the <i>Bachelor </i>Franchise
The Bachelor franchise is successful because viewers experience a light but undeniable catharsis from watching other people humiliate themselves. ...
Here's Borussia Mönchengladbach With A Great Piece Of Own-Goal Incompetence
On one hand, this comically ridiculous own goal does a disservice to the impressive work Schalke’s Leroy Sané put into creating it. On the other, the three deft little flicks Gladbach’s defenders ping back and forth between each other would be impressive—Arsenal-esque, even—if only they weren’t send...