back Page 103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wife Of Pitcher Scott Schoeneweis Found Dead
Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis, the wife of Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Scott Schoeneweis, was found unconscious in the family's home today and sheriff's deputies were unable to revive her when they arrived. No cause of death has been determined yet. She was 39. Terrible news. [Arizona Republic]...

James Harrison Has A Fear Of Flying, Not Of White House
Just when James Harrison became 1000% scarier due to his seemingly bizarre decision and reasoning to not visit the White House with his Steeler teammates, we find out he's not the anti-authoritarian lunatic we thought....

Jim Edmonds: Cougar Bait
This not-so-young lady walked into the centerfelder's 15 Club in St. Louis with a little black dress and a white-stripped smile and walked out with a "Jim Edmonds Mowed My Lawn" t-shirt. [St. Louis Today]...

Yep, Brett Favre Is Definitely Coming Back
Non-retired football star Brett Favre has called in Dr. Andrews and will (reportedly!) have surgery on his bicep next week—which is not something a 39-year-old typically does unless he wants to play more professional football....

There Is Another Sanchez Living Inside Mark Sanchez's Mouth
New York media, please be on high alert: It turns out the man drafted to save the Jets' franchise from the ghost of Favre and the incompetence of Clemens/Ratliff allegedly is lip- inked and loves doggy-style....

Soccer Player Killed By Lightning, Then Goes On With His Life
Here's another story of deceased soccer fans, only this one has a happy ending, because the kid in question was lucky enough to be raised from the dead....

Phoenix Coyotes Go Bankrupt, Forget To Tell NHL
Remember when the Jets left Winnipeg for Phoenix and everyone said, "Real smart! Putting a hockey team in the desert!" Yeah, they're probably on the way back to Canada with their tail between their legs....

Walk Off Homer Disallowed By Premature Hand Slapping
It's one thing to be a stickler for the rules, it's another to be a stickler who protests a perfectly legit home run because of an obscure, pointless rule—and doesn't even read the rule right....

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Has Great Timing
This afternoon former pound-for-pound champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. will announce his return to the ring after a year-long retirement. The Mayweather camp will hold a press conference hours before tonight's Pacquiao/Hatton fight. [ESPN]...

Throwback Uniforms That Will Possibly Make You Want To Throw Up
If there's one thing that history has taught us, it's that mustard yellow and brown are excellent choices for professional sports uniform colors. See, this is why I miss you, American Football League....

Stick To Foursquare And Hopscotch, College Boy
Oft-injured UNC quarterback T.J. Yates will be out six weeks after spraining his thumb during a game of Frisbee. He will spend the remainder of the summer ensconced in bubble wrap. [WRALSportsFan]...

Dan Shanoff Deconstructs The Sideline Princess
"But watching her at the event confirmed what I had thought when I watched her on TV: She was down-to-earth and completely comfortable with herself." You cad! [The Sporting Blog]...

New Mouth Guard Is Effective, And Most Importantly, Stylish
Look closely the next time Eric Byrnes steps in the batter's box. Focus in on his face, examine his mouth. Do you see it? Um no, I refuse to do this. Next question?...

Feds Seize Brandi Chastain's Bra, Demand Ransom
If you want to see the bra alive again, leave $250 in unmarked bills at the enclosed location. No tricks. Bra will be shipped within 5-7 business days....

You're Just Making Carlie Christine More Famous
The Sacramento area cheerleading coach who was ratted out by members of her squad and fired for posing nude in Playboy has been named that magazine's Cyber Girl of the Month. Vindication!...

Yankees Blowout: Can't You Smell That Smell?
So the Yankees lost yesterday by a fat, glorious pile of runs, 18 of them to be precise. How, you might wonder, have the city's clever and fiercely original tabloids responded? With olfactory puns!...

The Man's A Menace!
Bill Murray hits spectator with tee shot at Outback ProAm, uses incident as opportunity to test new comedy material. [St. Petersburg Times]...

Everybody Wants Greg Paulus
The Packers invited the former Dukie for a workout, now the University of Michigan is also interested in acquiring the services of the one-time Christian Brothers Academy quarterback.. Also, he's apparently a football God....

This Week On A Very Special 'Friday Night Lights' ...
So you've quit the high school football team, and now you want to come back. OK, well, this being Texas, you'll need to drop your pants for a rather brutal paddlin'....

Pat Bowlen To Cutler: JUST GO AWAY, YOU STUPID BABY
Actually it was a bit more reasonable than that — but just as emphatic. So which team will snag Jay Cutler? [DenverPost]...