back Page 70 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tom Brady's Getting A Raise But Not Actually An Extension
When the news first broke of Tom Brady’s new Patriots contract, it was reported as a two-year extension, running through 2021, at $70 million. After years and years of having to write the same blog, I’m as surprised as you are that scoopsters didn’t wait for the details of the contract to see what i...
Baseball Players, Listen To Me: Stop Wearing Shirts Under Vest Jerseys
Attention all baseball men! Have you been outside? It is thousands of degrees outside and somehow even more humid. Terrible! It is almost August. And so I say to you: it is time to stop wearing these ridiculous t-shirts under your jerseys....
Diamondbacks Turn Harmless Sacrifice Bunt Into Sequence Of Screeching Embarrassment
For a team that’s stuck on the fence between selling and buying ahead of the trade deadline, a discouraging showing against a bottom-feeder is maybe all the nudge you need to trade everyone away and start over. That’s the sad position the Arizona Diamondbacks face Monday night after the crummy Marli...
Bison Gets Irritated By Tourists, Tosses Child Into Oblivion
Look, if you’re going to hunt bison to the brink of extinction, you can’t be surprised when one of them takes an opportunity for revenge. The creature would’ve garnered more sympathy if it had picked on one of the larger tourists, though....
Today's NFL Would Have Been Perfect For Doug Flutie
It’s been 14 years since he last played professional football, but Doug Flutie is suddenly relevant again. In the run-up to the draft, there was a big feature in the Washington Post, along with a 15-minute chat on The Rich Eisen Show. When I first reached out to ask about an interview, Flutie’s agen...
Diamondbacks Plunge Into The Depths Of The Seven Hells, Discover Agonizing New Way To Lose A Ballgame
If a walk-off win is exciting, and a walk-off walk is peculiar and charming, what is a walk-off walk, walk, walk, walk, walk? Perhaps something too grotesque to even imagine, let alone witness with your own eyes? Let’s find out....
Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Game Postponed, Which Means The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Will Play A Double-Header Today
The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs, a minor-league baseball team associated with the Colorado Rockies, had their game against the Ogden Raptors canceled last night due to an “outfield surface issue.” This was bad news for local Chubs fans who had purchased tickets to the game. Not only were they deni...
An Interview With The Man Who Enraged A Minor League Baseball Team By Suggesting They Call Themselves The Humpback Chubs
Today, for reasons that were at first very hard to parse, the Grand Junction Rockies, a minor-league team affiliated with the Colorado Rockies, sent out the following aggressive, since-deleted tweets:...
Dominant Dodgers Reliever Russell Martin Threw His First Career Strikeout
Some MLB managers might believe that, when the team is down 8-2 and the bullpen is drained, it’s time to give up and send out a position player to pitch. Not Dave Roberts, though. When he and his Dodgers found themselves in that exact situation at the tail end of their series against the Diamondback...
Jack Del Rio Was At The Buffet When The Jaguars Decided To Draft Blaine Gabbert
Usually we only get to hear the juicy stories behind NFL Draft machinations when someone wants to brag, about finding a hidden gem or putting one over on another team, but in all cases, it involves a successful pick. Well, this is not that, but it’s also sort of that, in the sense that Jack Del Rio ...
Diamondbacks Fan Tries To Crack Kenley Jansen With His Bare Cheeks
Can you spot the butt? Look closely. You’ll find it....
Fake Steve Berthiaume Twitter Account Leads To Random Family Crashing Diamondbacks' Booth During Game
Arizona Diamondbacks broadcaster Steve Berthiaume doesn’t use Twitter, but someone on the site is pretending to be him. The account @BertDbacks is clearly fake—and also rude—but it convinced a family of D-Backs fans that they could come visit the Fox Sports Arizona booth during Thursday’s game again...
Let's Talk Ourselves Into This NBA Finals Matchup
The NBA Finals would seem great to someone who only recently decided to care about NBA basketball. You’ve got your dynastic bulletproof Golden State Warriors, currently minus injured cornball virtuoso Kevin Durant but otherwise as monstrously dominant as ever. You’ve also got the Toronto Raptors, a ...
Well, At Least David Backes Is In A Cup Final
I’m sitting here trying to come up with a reason it’s not a total bummer that the vile Boston Bruins are in their third Stanley Cup Final of the decade after a 4-0 win to complete a sweep of Carolina, and, reader, I am struggling. (This applies to non-Bruins fans only, of course. For Bruins fans: Co...
You Could Microwave A Hot Pocket In The Time It Took Zack Greinke To Throw This Damn Pitch
Zack Greinke was up against Ozzie Albies in the top of the second and had just thrown his second consecutive changeup outside of the strike zone to give the Braves batter a full count. With two men on base, Greinke didn’t want to be the one to break the 1-1 tie so he decided to be patient for his ne...
Fate Came Back Around To Punish Max Fried's Pitching Hand
Atlanta’s Max Fried is a very cool young pitcher. He got off to a great start this season, compiling a 4–1 record and a 2.11 earned run average through his first six starts, with a scrumptious 0.991 WHIP. He has also evidently run afoul of Fate, which came to collect its due in the second inning of ...
Liverpool Stage Utterly Sensational 4-0 Comeback Over Barcelona To Reach Champions League Final
Liverpool have shocked the world. Heading back to Anfield after losing a dispiriting 3-0 first leg in Barcelona, Liverpool needed something resembling a miracle to reach their second straight Champions League final. And they found one, somehow, winning 4-0 at home and booting Barcelona out of the co...
Arizona's Zack Godley Wiggles Ass, Balks Home A Run
The first sign that the Diamondbacks were in for a long night against the Cubs came even before the first inning started, when a healthy population of Chicago fans filled the seats of Chase Field. The second sign came in the top of the third, when a seemingly harmless rump shake from pitcher Zack Go...
The Giants Were Extremely Horny For Daniel Jones
The Giants liked Daniel Jones. Obviously, because otherwise they wouldn’t have drafted him at No. 6, ahead of Josh Allen or Ed Oliver or Dwayne Haskins. But: they really liked him....