ball Page 1229 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mike Florio, partner at the law firm of Schmuck, Hack, and Gasbag LLP, gives the football-media equivalent of the birds-and-the-bees talk to Johnny Manziel: "But if something happens between a sufficiently overage male and an underage girl, the overage male can go to jail even if the underage girl c...
How To Keep A Prospect From Getting Suspended For Weed? Promote Him.
Minor league baseball rules dictate that players who test positive for "drugs of abuse"—the fun, non-performance-enhancing ones like weed, cocaine, and ecstasy—receive a 50-game suspension for a second offense, 100 games for a third, and a lifetime ban for the fourth. There are no such penalties for...
So The Bulls Really Want Carmelo Anthony
Chicago is coming on strong with a Knicksian thirst....
The Definitive List Of Excuses For Day Drinking
I missed one of the World Cup games the other day due to family obligations, so I caught up on highlights that night when ESPN did a cut-and-paste re-broadcast of game highlights on ESPN FC, with an anchor introducing the clips like it was an episode of Masterpiece Theater. "When we last left Brazil...
If Ted Kluszewski's Guns Could Speak . . .
Theodore Bernard "Big Klu" Kluszewski played in the majors for two decades, more than half of those years with the Reds. He was big — well over 6 feet and around 230 pounds, give or take — and he was strong. Like, Harmon Killebrew meets Joe Adcock by way of Josh Gibson strong. He wasn't Hall of Fame...
Why Do So Many Sportswriters Love Bruce Springsteen?
Hello. My name is Drew, and I think Bruce Springsteen is just OK. I have never bought one of his albums. I have attended one of his concerts (I was shitfaced), but only one. I used to practice singing "Brilliant Disguise" in the shower when I was in high school so that I could serenade a girl wi...
Please Do Not Try To Punch This Photo
Justin Bieber threw a party at his Beverly Hills home last night, and the reportedly raucous soirée was attended by all the obnoxious rich people you'd expect to show up to a party at Justin Bieber's house. ...
Astros Acknowledge Leak Of Trade Talk; FBI On The Case
Just now, the Astros have issued a statement regarding the release of internal trade chatter from the front office's intranet:...
Marlins Deny Giancarlo Stanton Trade Talks
In today's leak of the Astros' internal trade chatter, the biggest bombshell was mention of Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton. Here's how it was worded in the Astros' system:...
Leaked: 10 Months Of The Houston Astros' Internal Trade Talks
Two years ago, the Houston Astros constructed "Ground Control"—a built-from-scratch online database for the private use of the Astros front office. It is by all accounts a marvel, an easy-to-use interface giving executives instant access to player statistics, video, and communications with other fro...
Great Moments In Terrible Summer Jobs
My first summer job was working at a Little Caesar's in Torrington, CT. Here's a quick pro-tip for all you college kids out there who need a way to pay for beer next semester: NEVER take a restaurant job where cheese is highly prevalent. Pizza, Mexican food, some artisanal fondue joint, etc. I had...
Texas Tech Recruit Punches Women's Hoops Star In Pickup Game
Incoming freshman cornerback Nigel Bethel II was dismissed from the Texas Tech football team yesterday, a day after punching Amber Battle, the Lady Raiders basketball team's leading scorer, in the face during a pickup game. Rec center hoops are serious fucking business....
Former Auburn Player Philip Lutzenkirchen Dies In Car Accident
Former Auburn tight end Philip Lutzenkirchen has reportedly died in an auto accident early Sunday morning. He was 23....
Swaggy P Juked Out Of The Gym By Little Kid
This little kid had Swaggy P on tilt. The crossover and behind-the-back dribble really seemed to catch Nick Young off guard and he never recovered. Once the time came for the pump fake, the eager Swaggy P was flying off the court. ...
More Photos From Foggy, Foggy Wrigley Field
Denard Span wasn't the only one affected by the foggy conditions at Wrigley Field last night. Thankfully, the barking of the beer vendor seems to have cut through what the ball's light waves could not. Here are more photos from the game:...
LeBron James Is The NBA's Invisible Hand
When the Miami Heat traded up two spots to select former UConn guard Shabazz Napier with the 24th overall pick in last night's NBA draft, the motivation seemed immediately clear, at least to those of us staring at goat entrails: Miami is doing everything it can to convince LeBron James to stay....
Denard Span Had No Fun Playing In Foggy-Ass Wrigley Last Night
The Nationals and the Cubs played a game under a thick blanket of fog at Wrigley Field last night. The conditions didn't wreak too much havoc on the outcome of the game, but the fog did create one crappy moment for Nationals center fielder Denard Span....
Andrew Wiggins And His Bitchin' Suit Are Ready For The Draft
Russell Westbrook is sitting at home right now like, "Who the fuck does this rookie think he is?"...
Get To Know The Guy Who Might Be The Steal Of The NBA Draft
One of the savviest picks of last year's NBA draft was made by the Milwaukee Bucks, when they grabbed Giannis Antetokounmpo with the 15th overall pick. The Greek Freak was just a bundle of springy limbs and a fresh face at the time, but he quickly became a player who matters. There is another baby-f...
Are MLB No-Hitters Really Getting More Common?
Tim Lincecum's no-hitter yesterday was the 22nd since 2010 and a walk away from becoming the sixth perfect game in that same time. This makes no-hitters and perfect games sound abnormally common today. So just how much has the frequency of no-hitters and perfect games changed?...