ball Page 1570 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Presented Without Comment: Mark Sanchez To Receive USC's Young Alumni Merit Award
Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez will receive the USC Alumni Association's inaugural Young Alumni Merit Award at a ceremony in Los Angeles on April 30....

Hofstra's Charles Jenkins Hit A Game-Tying Three And A Game-Winning Three Last Night
Last night against William & Mary, Hofstra's Charles Jenkins knocked down a three to send the game into overtime, and then launched a game-winning 35-footer at the buzzer for the win. And you thought you'd never see a bona fide highlight from ye olde Colonial Athletic Association....

An Inside Look At The White House Pooper!
All my life I've wanted to know the details of where the President of the United States evacuates his bowels, and now an anonymous reader who is ON THE INSIDE has provided the crucial information....

Big Yankees Fan Reports For Spring Training
Should've seen this one coming. With pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training in Florida and Arizona, Big Yankees Fan Michael LaPayower figured it was as good a time as any to break out the camera and start galavanting about....

Gilbert Arenas Talks About His "Bum" Of A Baby Mama And Dead Pet Sharks
In the wake of getting served with child-support papers at halftime of a Magic/Wizards game, Gilbert Arenas is rather perturbed about his baby mama Laura Govan's approach to public shaming. So says a source in the D.C. media, who was kind enough to share straight-from-the-mouth-of-Arenas thoughts o...

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....

High School Basketball Game Ends With Shattered Backboard
Click to view It only served to turn a 14-point loss into a 12-point one, but an Oregon high-school sophomore's dunk ended the game with a shattered backboard, it's a watchable novelty....

UConn Booster Goes Crawling Back To The Place That Loves His Money
University of Connecticut Board of Trustees Chairman Larry McHugh announced last night that the academic institution has reached detente with booster Robert G. Burton....

Here's A College Basketball Open Thread
Yes, Syracuse/Louisville and Kentucky/Vanderbilt are already underway. Good Top 25 matchups, for sure. But Ohio State/Wisconsin and Pittsburgh/Villianova are coming up (2 p.m. and 9 p.m., respectively), and since they're Top 14 matchups, they get open-thread timing priority....

The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....

Rinku And Dinesh Are Coming To A Crappy Disney Movie Near You
Disney has hired screenwriter Tom McCarthy to write the script for "Million Dollar Arm," the inspiring story of two young Indian men who won a reality show and then got signed by the most miserable team in the major leagues. Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel requested in 2009 that we not equate their sto...

Cockblocked By The Hoff!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

HS Hoops Team Gets Its Racist Coach Suspended
Last night, Emma brought you the sorry tale of Jason Popp, whose 15-0 Richmond Heights High School boys' basketball team was trying to overthrow him since he regularly called them the n-word....

There's A 14-Year-Old In Canada With A 39-Inch Vertical Leap
This young man is Jamar Ergas. He is in the eighth grade and can pull off a 360-degree dunk. Ergas will enter the ninth grade at Christian Faith Center Academy in Creedmore, N.C. next year and, barring any rule changes, will play one season of college basketball somewhere around the year 2015....

Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming NFL Labor War
The NFL season is over! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, fuck you, God! You've got some nerve allowing late winter, spring, and summer to get in the way like that! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!...

HS Baseball Coach Cuts Double-Amputee Pitcher; Quickly Becomes Worst Human Ever
This young man is Anthony Burruto, a sophomore at Dr. Phillips High School in Orlando and an aspiring pitcher. Burruto was born without a shinbone in his left leg and without a fibula in his right, and doctors amputated his lower legs when he was just a baby. He's been playing baseball since he was ...

TCU Turns Down Wisconsin Game; To Continue Playing Little Sisters Of The Poor
With UNLV backing out of their commitment, Wisconsin has a schedule hole to fill. So does TCU. A third party approached both schools proposing they play the season opener in Madison, in a rematch of the Rose Bowl. Bret Bielema says it took him half a second to say yes. TCU said no....

Here's The Crazy 4-Point Play That Ended The Villanova-Rutgers Game
After trading threes in the final minute, Rutgers senior Jonathan Mitchell converted a four-point play and the unranked Scarlet Knights knocked off No. 10 Villanova, 77-76. Impressive, but worthy of the storming of the court? I always lose track of the rules....

Zurich Soccer Fans Are Enthralled By Gene Simmons's Tongue
Your morning roundup for Feb. 10, the day we regretted the harm our actions have caused our family, our staff, and our constituents....

"Dear Pathetic, Ignorant Twats": The Duke/UNC War Of Words Heats Up
It's an annual tradition for the editors of the Duke Chronicle and the Daily Tar Heel to exchange trash talk letters in advance of their schools' first matchup of the season. We got them both, and boy, do the young minds of Tobacco Road have a way with words....