ball Page 1827 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Raining (Very Fat) Men
It happens every time we attend a game at Shea Stadium; inevitably a druken fat guy will topple onto us from the row above, causing us to break certain small bones. We don't even bother to sue anymore; we're used to it. But Ellen Massey, a Manhattan lawyer, is not so magnanimous. She's had enough....
Great Moments In Foul Ball Retrieval
As we continue to try to come to terms with the gruesome spectacle that is the 2007 St. Louis Cardinals, we note that, these days, even the ballboys are afraid of the baseball....
David Wells Explains It All
Since Bud Selig has hidden himself in a secure, undisclosed location until after Bonds breaks the career home run record, The Quote Machine That Is David Wells is back in action. The Padres' pitcher has a few things to say about Roger Clemens' new contract with the Yankees, specifically the clause t...
Turn Your Head, Order A Beer And Cough
The Milwaukee Brewers continue to outclass the rest of the National League Central — particularly that sullen goop currently residing in last place — but they're not resting on their laurels and ignoring their diehards. The Brewers truly care about their fans' well-being and longterm health, and to ...
Mariners 3, Yankees 2: Major League Baseball Regrets The Error
Notes on a day in baseball:...
He's Afraid The Defensive Line Will Be Quite Operational When Your Friends Arrive
A friend who's a big Star Wars dork — you're shocked that we have such friends, we're sure — forwards us this creative concoction put together by an inventive (and, certainly, lonely) Star Wars aficionado and college football watcher....
When Baseball Players Act Like They Want To Fight
In the wake of Roger Clemens' "Look at ME!" announcement yesterday, the fact that the Yankees and Mariners had a pseudo "lemme at 'em!" brawl was entirely lost. (Same thing with the Brewers-Prince Fielder skirmish.) But nothing beats a bench-clearing tussle, mainly because rarely are punches actuall...
Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....
Roger's Back In Town
What they're saying around the blogs on Roger Clemens signing with the Yankees ......
It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...
Put Your Hands Together For The Artist Currently Known As Prince
Notes on a day in baseball:...
That's A Really Quiet 48 Percent
Some interesting stuff on ESPN.com today ... ESPN/ABC News polled Americans to see how they felt about Barry Bonds eclipsing Hank Aaron's homerun record. As it turns out, black people don't hate Barry Bonds nearly as much as white people hate Barry Bonds....
I Guess You Can't Be A Successful Quarterback Until You've Been With A Man
If this week has taught us anything, it's that gay-themed pictures of quarterbacks do not hurt their career. Above is Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford and a friend getting cozy at a secluded, romantic little spot on the infield at Talladega. Hey, when the mood strikes, the mood strikes....
If This Continues, Darin Erstad Might Want to Grab a Helmet
Catching a fly ball against the backdrop of dozens of retina-searing white lights can't be easy. Every now and then, you're going to lose one ... and in such instances, you're going to stand there and look like a chump. It happens to the best of them. But that doesn't make it less amusing....
We Need To Talk About Your TPS Reports
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
Brett Myers IS Your Daily Closer
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Call This "A Warning Sign"
Because there's little more amusing than a crazed fan unleashed on YouTube, we introduce you to "Kitney2Furrey," a Tigers booster who has been posting pretty much every day during the season. We are so glad we didn't watch the World Series with this guy last year. Not only would we have been blinded...
Jay Gibbons Has Amazing Aim On His Foul Balls
Could spousal abuse be a stepping stone to career advancement? Hey, ask Brett Myers. (Or Bobby Cox, for that matter.)...
Why You Shouldn't Get A Tattoo In An Extreme Emotional State
We don't have any tattoos, but if we were ever to go through with one, it would have been, obviously, after the Cardinals won the World Series last year. One Cardinals fan had the same idea, and, well, considering his experience, we're glad we didn't go through with it....