ball Page 1865 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welcome Back, Dwight Gooden
After seven months in jail — in a jail in Florida, no less — fallen phenom Dwight Gooden is scheduled to be released today. A time has not been announced yet. Gooden's jail time was intriguing because he could have chosen three years probation but decided not to, because another drug offense during ...
The Return Of Ned
A profile in courage from Florida International University: Running back A'Mod Ned, the injured Panther who heroically joined the fray of the infamous Miami-FIU brawl from a month or so ago despite, you know, being on crutches, is expected to return to practice this week and could be able to retur...
A Closer Look At The Late Bryan Pata
As the college football world comes to terms with the tragic, awful death of Miami Hurricanes defensive tackle Bryan Pata, who was shot yesterday outside his apartment, details continue to filter in. The University has not yet announced if the team will play its game Saturday against Maryland....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Big 12 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to avoid eternal shame. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! (Please send contributions to )....
An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!
If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this...
How To Get Kicked Off Your Team
We know this is from yesterday, but we needed to wrap 'er up, if just because it involves Kansas coach Bill Self, who wears the worst toupee we've seen in college sports yet is seemingly never called on it. (Yes. We're Illini people. We're still a little annoyed.)...
Life Lessons With Darryl Strawberry
About a month-and-a-half ago, we told you about an auction that could bring Darryl Strawberry to your classroom to teach your kids a few lessons. We liked the idea and wished we had some spare change hanging around ourselves. We could use a lecture or two from Darryl....
The Bay Area Athletics Of Fremont?
For years, people have been figuring out how to either attract fans in Oakland — remember, they closed off the upper deck this year, and few complained — or how to get the heck out of there. Well, it seems like they might have finally figured out how to bolt the Coliseum: Head to Fremont!...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Pacific-10 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to beat that chick in the mail room. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! (Please send contributions to [email protected]...
Pointing Out The Idiocy Of A New Rule
A truly outstanding find from The Wizard Of Odds: Apparently, during the Joe Paterno broken leg game between Penn State and Wisconsin — JoePa's return has been pretty amazing, by the way; the guy's coaching this week — Badgers coach Bret Bielema either discovered a loophole in the controversial new ...
Lonnie Smith Wanted To Shoot John Schuerholz
We had heard that Lonnie Smith, the former Cardinals and Braves outfielder whose frenetic baserunning was almost as breathtaking as watching him try to play defense (Bill James once pointed out that Smith "really does fall down almost every game), had battled some drug problems back in the late '80s...
Not Even "Hard Harry" Can Save This Game
Ordinarily, we've tended to make fun of "Monday Night Football"'s tendency to bring "celebrities" into their booth to banter with Bald 1, Bald 2 and Mouthy; it's always a distraction from the game and excruciating to listen to. ("So, uh, guy from 'Desperate Housewives" ... er ... so you're in a coma...
Not Exactly Your Marquee MNF Matchup
We love the idea of these late-night open game threads, which started with the World Series — who won that, anyway? — and have morphed into a fun Monday night activity for the bored, drunk and/or curious. But it's pretty tough to dress up tonight's game in anything that resembles anything pretty: ...
Drew Tate Does The Ocho
In the spirit of the Big Ten football theme we've got going this afternoon, we proudly present you with Drew Tate, quarterback for the consistently disappointing Iowa Hawkeyes, rocking out the Halloween party circuit with some pals as, apparently, the bad guys from "Dodgeball." Frankly, this is the ...
Set Tasers Phasers To "Conduct"
At halftime of the Michigan-Ball State game on Saturday, of all people, freaking Picard proved something we've always suspected: Anybody can be a damned band conductor....
Bo Schembechler Gets Meta On Us
We've told you repeatedly about the Dead Schembechlers, the Ohio State fan punk band that features thrash ditties like "Bomb Ann Arbor Now" and "Chad Henne is A Motherfucking Joke." (Their official site is right here, though someone should probably mention that no one does splash pages anymore.)...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Atlantic 10 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want that edge. So let's go. (Please send contributions to [email protected])....
Sometimes, The Gatorade Bottle Is Just Too Far Away
We're posting this just to be obnoxious, and we will not pretend otherwise: During Nebraska's 34-20 victory over Missouri, Tigers quarterback Chase Daniel discovers a way to replenish proteins burned through on the field of battle....
Thinking Good Thoughts For JoePa
If you haven't seen the "highlight" yet, here's video of Joe Paterno's broken leg accident on Saturday. We are extremely fond of Paterno — we always find him lovable; we want him to read us a story or something — and hope he has a speedy recovery, or as speedy a recovery that a 79-year-old man can h...
The Vols Aren't Taking It Well
When I saw that three Tennessee football players had been arrested, I just assumed that one of them was Pac Man Jones. It wasn't the Titans, though, it was the Volunteers, who figure if they can't beat some ass on the field, they should beat some ass in the club....