ball Page 527 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rough-Touch Football Gave Me More Than Just Money And Bruises
Bear called around seven and told me to wake up Moe....
Tim Tebow Chooses To Watch, Stand Fast In The Faith, And Strike Out Looking Against Position Player
When we last checked in with Tim Tebow, he was preparing for professional life full of Triple-A baseball and a personal life full of matrimonial sex. Tebow and his fiancée still haven’t officially tied the knot, so the sex is still on hold, as is the progress of his baseball career. Tebow has been e...
The Rays Drew Their Smallest Crowd Ever
It’s old hat by now to say the Rays have attendance issues. The stadium’s bad. The location’s bad. Ownership is bad. The region itself might be bad. (Neil deMause ran down each of the theories in turn.) We know all this already. But it’s still news when an MLB team draws under 6,000 people, and ther...
Marlins Cast-Off Derek Dietrich Is Now A Mashing God For The Reds
Derek Dietrich came to the Cincinnati Reds over the winter via a minor league contract, after playing the first six years of his career with the Miami Marlins. This all transpired with very little fanfare, in part because Dietrich has never been an especially consequential player. Before now, that i...
We've A New Contender For The Title Of Worst Ceremonial First Pitch Of All Time
The look on the face White Sox pitcher Evan Marshall, doing the catching for the ceremonial first pitch ahead of Tuesday night’s Royals-White Sox game, tells you something. That is not the expression of a man who has a lot of confidence in the person doing the hurling. That expression says this may ...
Avisaíl García Had Just The Absolute Dumbest Inside-The-Park Dinger
Avisaíl García, the disorienting ceiling at the Trop, and the atrocious eyesight of Randal Grichuk all combined to give the Rays’ DH an atypical, embarrassing, inside-the-park dong during the Toronto-Tampa game on Tuesday night. In the third inning, facing Clayton Richard, García hit a high fly int...
Raiders Give Richie Incognito His, What, 50th Chance
Offensive lineman Richie Incognito, last with the Buffalo Bills, retired before the 2018 season and said his liver and kidneys were “shutting down.” Today the Oakland Raiders convinced him to return to football and take a one-year, prove-it deal. What that means is that if the signing doesn’t work o...
The Buccaneers Tried Accounting Tricks To Claim Money From The BP Oil Spill
This is something else: A federal appeals court rejected the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ attempt to secure nearly $20 million from a settlement fund designed to compensate victims of the 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill, on the grounds that the Bucs tried to use some shady-ass accounting to justify their ...
Most Of These Team Names Would've Been Way Better Than "Raptors"
The second-most ’90s thing in professional sports is the Hornets still using teal as a primary color. (And, considering it’s the second edition of that franchise, it can be viewed in a more forgiving throwback/nostalgic light.) The single most ’90s thing in professional sports is, obviously, that th...
Can You Eat A Full Meal Without Drinking Any Liquid?
Today, we’re talking about weed, toilet paper, golf, fucking to John Tesh, and more....
Odubel Herrera Arrested For Suspected Domestic Violence
Multiple outlets are reporting that Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Odubel Herrera was arrested Monday night after police responded to a report of domestic violence in Atlantic City, New Jersey....
Fresno Grizzlies Are Sorry For Memorial Day Video That Showed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez As Freedom’s Enemy
Between games of a Memorial Day doubleheader, the Fresno Grizzlies displayed a video on the big screen for the holiday. Backed by a selection from Ronald Reagan’s first inaugural address—the parts about freedom and dignity and how America will never surrender, not the parts about shrinking the feder...
Mallex Smith Circled The Bases In The Coolest Of Ways
You can keep your filthy “dingers,” your “dongs,” your “mashed taters,” you damn dirty apes! Corkscrew yourselves into hell for all I care! Give me a ruthless speedster thieving his way around the bases, as the Mariners’ Mallex Smith did to the pathetic Rangers in the bottom of the eighth inning las...
Daniel Vogelbach Hit A Homer So Meaty It Could Feed A Family Of Four
Look at the faces. No, not at the mugs of the guy at the plate or the guy on the mound, although you’ll find expressions of optimism and helplessness, respectively. Look into the stands, and gaze at all the “O”s on those fans’ faces, their expressions turning them into some kind of poorly organized ...
Top Recruit Stiff-Arms The NCAA
High school basketball player R.J. Hampton is the No. 5-ranked prospect on ESPN’s list of 100 recruits from the class of 2019, and this morning we all found out that he will not be playing college basketball next season. Instead, he will be playing in the Australian pro league as a member of the New...
Whoo Buddy, The Lakers Sound Like A Real Mess
Call ‘em the Showtime Lakers again, not because their utter organizational collapse of this past season was fun to watch—though it was definitely fun to watch—but because they melted down with levels of violence and obscenity that belong on premium cable. Luke Walton is gone as coach, replaced with ...
Mike Yastrzemski Disappoints Wife While Trying To Get To Second Base
Yet another relative of a Hall of Famer was promoted to the majors this past weekend. Mike Yastrzemski, grandson of Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski, got the call up to join the dysfunctional Giants on Saturday, where he made his debut against the Diamondbacks. Yastrzemski finally got the first hit of...
Orioles' Keon Broxton Lost Track Of A Wall And Allowed A Pitcher To Hit A Two-Run RBI Triple
Baltimore’s trip to Coors Field has been a relative success by the realistic standards the team has likely set for themselves—Baltimore not only took one of the three games in the series, but also allowed fewer than 50 home runs during that span—so it was only a matter of time until the Orioles regr...