ball Page 539 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Football Writers Dust Off Their Old Dumb Takes About Domestic Violence, Somehow Make Them Dumber
Since the Kansas City Chiefs indefinitely suspended Tyreek Hill last week for his alleged role in breaking his 3-year-old son’s arm and for threatening his fiancée in a leaked audio recording, the NFL Knowers have dutifully donned their thinking caps and pondered solutions. What the actual problem b...
Commissioner For A Day: It's Time For A Four-Point Shot In The NBA
It is not a good practice, just as a general rule, to steal Big Ideas from widely maligned and mostly forgotten MTV stunt-programming. But people that play by the general rules or adhere to best practices or “have actual ideas of their own” seldom make history, and I was not going to spend my one hy...
What The Absolute Hell Was Kyle Lowry Doing?
It was possible to miss this in realtime. I did. For one thing, it happened quickly, and devolved quickly into distracting chaos. For another, even if your eyes gathered the information and transmitted it whole to your brain, your brain may have processed it as an error and erased it, because it is ...
Nuggets Bozos Turn Fast-Break Into Slapstick Disaster
Late in the first half of Game 1 of the Western Conference semifinal series between Portland and Denver, Jamal Murray swiped a Blazers inbounds pass and tore ass the other way, in a two-on-two break with teammate Malik Beasley streaking ahead of him. With two skilled and athletic guards pushing ahea...
In Game With Gut-Sick Joel Embiid, Raptors Are The Ones To Shit Their Pants
Joel Embiid was listed as probable headed into Game 2 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series between the 76ers and Raptors, with a case of gastroenteritis. It’s a stomach virus, and is experienced as a lot of stomach pain and diarrhea, which is definitely not the condition you want to be in whil...
![Here Is A Horrifying Orioles Statistic That Somehow Has Nothing To Do With Chris Davis [CORRECTED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ydymfiqsgz4hmsu0f2xt.jpg)
Here Is A Horrifying Orioles Statistic That Somehow Has Nothing To Do With Chris Davis [CORRECTED]
Baseball fans are going to be treated to some gruesome numbers this season, courtesy of the bottom five or so teams in baseball, mired in that group of organizations that have no intention of being good in 2019. But the Orioles, man, those poor suckers are rowing out to heretofore unknown new horizo...
Bucks, After Having Butts Kicked All The Way Off In Game 1: Why Would We Change Anything?
The major question coming out of Game 1 of the ballyhooed Celtics-Bucks series is how the Bucks plan to recover after having home-court advantage yanked away in a discouraging loss. The long and short of it is, the Bucks, from head coach Mike Budenholzer on down, do not feel that strategic adjustmen...
The Rockets Are Only Embarrassing Themselves
It’s not enough that the Houston Rockets have to whine that they lost Game 1 because the refs didn’t take their signature gaming of the “landing zone” rule as seriously as usual. They elected to follow that snit with what is perhaps the most pathetically lame sports media leak of all time, as ESPN m...
Mike Francesa Blames Giants Draft Pick For Getting Shot And Bringing Shame To The Team
Two Washburn University football players were shot outside of a party in Topeka, Kansas early Sunday morning, according to the Topeka PD. Junior defensive back Dwane Simmons was pronounced dead at the scene, while his teammate Corey Ballentine suffered non-life threatening injuries. Hours before the...
Deer Take Over College Baseball Game
The following video is a narrative treat worthy of the same analysis and praise as Avengers: Endgame or last night’s episode of Game of Thrones. Okay, maybe that’s going a little far. Some deer run onto a baseball field. It’s pretty cute and you’re going to enjoy it, dammit....
If This Is Rockets-Warriors, Let's Just Get It Over With As Soon As Possible
In case you ever decide to hate sports without the crutch of a rooting interest, financial, familial, or simply laundry-based, here’s your ticket. The pre–NBA Finals NBA Finals are already a drunken bar argument, and they’re only going to get worse. The Houston Rockets ... the Golden State Warriors ...
Dave Gettleman Now Has Everything Riding On Daniel Jones
New York Giants GM Dave Gettleman apparently did not enjoy watching the majority of NFL fans and media make fun of him for selecting Duke quarterback Daniel Jones with the sixth overall pick of the 2019 NFL Draft. He’s responded to the criticism by going on a media campaign of his own, sitting down ...
Well That Was An Officiating Clusterfuck
In an ironic twist, it was James Harden that spoke up about officiating problems in Game 1 of the Rockets-Warriors series. He told reporters after the game that “he just wants a fair chance” and that he’s willing to live with whatever results come from the game as long as it’s called “the way it’s s...
Fernando Tatis Jr. Leaves Padres-Nationals After Doing A Split He Was Not Prepared For
In the bottom of the 10th, Victor Robles went for a bunt to try and advance a runner, Wilmer Difo, to second base. Padres pitcher Matt Wisler made a run towards the ball in an attempt to at least stop Difo from advancing. Fernando Tatis Jr. was under the impression that Wisler’s throw was not going ...
The Celtics Stole Giannis Antetokounmpo's Lunch Money And Stuffed Him In A Locker
Game 1 of the Bucks-Celtics series seemed to prove that there were little to no overarching takeaways from the first round of the playoffs that could have been used to predict how this game would go. The Bucks were not the world-beaters they looked to be in their four-game sweep of the Pistons; the ...
Mets Fan Accidentally Showers Ryan Braun With Overpriced Beer
Mets first baseman Pete Alonso was smashing things pitches early on Sunday against the Brewers. In the bottom of the first, he sent a fastball deep into left field and forced Ryan Braun to try and track it down by the wall. Thinking it was going over, Braun made an attempt at a leaping catch but was...
Arizona's Zack Godley Wiggles Ass, Balks Home A Run
The first sign that the Diamondbacks were in for a long night against the Cubs came even before the first inning started, when a healthy population of Chicago fans filled the seats of Chase Field. The second sign came in the top of the third, when a seemingly harmless rump shake from pitcher Zack Go...
Washington's Dwayne Haskins Predicted His New Team's Eventual Quarterbacking Needs When He Wrote For His High School Paper
Prior to playing quarterback for Ohio State, and then getting selected in the first round of the NFL Draft, Dwayne Haskins was a student and four-star recruit at Bullis School in Potomac, Md. When he wasn’t in the classroom, or practicing on the field, he was apparently trying to perfect life’s most...