ball Page 546 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don't Worry, The Sacramento Kings Are Still Dumb As Dogshit
The Sacramento Kings—the NBA’s most laughable franchise and, by ESPN’s estimation, the most miserable team in pro sports—finally had a good season. They didn’t make the playoffs, but they finished 39-43, a 12-win improvement over the previous season. De’Aaron Fox and Buddy Hield took big steps up, t...
The Terrible Private Highway Racket Is Coming For My House
You probably missed it because it falls squarely within the genre of normal, pre-2016 government malfeasance, but this week, according to the Washington Post, Maryland state Senator Nancy King (D) shot down a bill that would have made it more difficult for the state’s Republican governor to add toll...
Guy Who Publicly Threw Le'Veon Bell Under The Bus Wants Former Steelers To Stop Airing Dirty Laundry
It works in Ramon Foster’s favor that most offensive linemen aren’t well known and rarely grab attention, so when he issues a call for civility to former Steelers players like he did today, it’s seen as a sign of leadership and not a desperate measure by the worst union rep in the NFL....
The State Of The Warriors On The Edge Of Unrest
If, as has been predicted with almost frightening certitude by anyone who has watched a basketball game since Zelmo Beaty roamed the earth, the Golden State Warriors tromp through yet another field of challengers and re-re-almost-repeat as NBA champions, you outworlders will be pleased to know that ...
In His Fifth Appearance Of The Season, Trevor Rosenthal Finally Recorded An Out
If you haven’t spent all of your pity on walking tragedy Chris Davis, whose hitless streak reached 50 at-bats last night, spare some for Nationals reliever Trevor Rosenthal. After missing an entire season to Tommy John surgery and getting released by the Cardinals, Rosenthal landed in Washington thi...
Paul Pierce Is Getting Desperate
It’s been a rough time to be Paul Pierce as of late. Since boldly proclaiming that he was better than Dwyane Wade, he’s been the constant ridicule of seemingly anyone who could come up with a joke to make at his expense. Things started just moments after his claim when Jalen Rose read off a list of ...
Lawsuit Claims The AAF Intentionally Misled And Defrauded Its Players
In an unsurprising turn of events, two players who played for a league that was suddenly dissolved for comically greedy purposes are now suing that league for screwing them out of a job....
Las Vegas Aces Choose Jackie Young Over Asia Durr In WNBA Draft
For the third year in a row, the Las Vegas Aces franchise had the first pick in the WNBA draft, and after selecting first-year All-Star and Rookie of the Year A’Ja Wilson in 2018, the worst team in the West took Notre Dame guard Jackie Young with their first pick in 2019....
Dirk Nowitzki's Championship Stands Alone
Dirk Nowitzki is finally retiring after two decades with the Dallas Mavericks, and is secure in his legacy as the greatest-ever player from outside the United States thanks to 31,540 points scored, the iconic fadeaway jumper, his 14 all-star teams, and the 2007 MVP award. His once-reviled, or at lea...
Report: Guns, $20,000 In Cash Stolen From Braves Outfielder Nick Markakis's Home
A suspected burglar stole five guns, including an AR-15 rifle, and $20,000 in cash from the Atlanta home of Braves right fielder Nick Markakis, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. ...
Russell Wilson's Next Contract Should Be A Doozy
Russell Wilson is entering a contract year, and he’s going to get paid. At age 30, Wilson is in the prime of his career, and he continues to be exceptional—even as the Seahawks insist on letting Brian Schottenheimer design plays for him by repeatedly scrawling “MUST ESTABLISH RUN” on the wall of a ...
Fans Lustily Boo Umpire Who Did Finn The Bat Dog's Job For Him
Finn, the bat dog for the Oakland Triple-A affiliate Las Vegas Aviators, has one job. Like the best of us, sometimes he’s a little slow to do it. Last night, the umpire beat him to the bat and tossed it over to the dugout. The fans didn’t like that....
Joey Votto Acts Exceedingly Polite To Pitcher Who Just Plunked Him
Joey Votto, who has shown in the past that he can be as rude or polite as he wants to be, chose to be courteous Tuesday night after getting thwacked in the side with a baseball. Why get angry when your team’s up 6-0, anyway?...
Alvin Gentry Thinks Anthony Davis "Got Some Bad Advice"
While some NBA teams were busy making a dramatic push for a playoff spot or sending off a beloved superstar last night, the New Orleans Pelicans were just trying to get their final game against the Warriors over with and slink away from what’s been a disastrous season. The game itself was unremarkab...
For His Final Act, Magic Made The Lakers Disappear
Probably the Lakers will recover. They’re the Lakers. Anyway, judging by the vaguely bitchy tweets, he wasn’t actually doing all that much work in the first place, and judging by the results of the past two-plus years, he may not have been very good at it....
Heat Fans Made Sure To Give Paul Pierce A Memorable Send-Off, Too
Dwyane Wade’s year-long retirement tour reached its climax last night, when Wade started and played 34 minutes in his final home game as a member of the Miami Heat (this thanks to the Detroit Pistons, whose comeback win against the Grizzlies eliminated the Heat from the playoffs). Wade said goodbye ...
Marcell Ozuna Demonstrates The Dangers Of Trying Too Hard
In the top of the eighth inning with nobody on and nobody out, Kiké Hernandez hit the ball deep into left field. Thinking the ball had been absolutely crushed, Cardinals left fielder Marcell Ozuna decided to try and set himself up to make a catch that would be a strong contender for the season’s bes...
Steph Curry Leaves Warriors-Pelicans Game With Non-Contact Ankle Injury
Less than week before the start of the NBA playoffs, Steph Curry went down with a non-contact ankle injury early in the Warriors’ game against the Pelicans on Tuesday. The injury occurred when Curry’s right ankle gave out during a crossover attempt, forcing him to turn the ball over. The Golden Stat...
Report: Chris Mullin Out At St. John's Despite Winning Due To Sleazy And Failed Recruiting Efforts
Today, Chris Mullin announced that he was stepping down as St. John’s basketball coach after four seasons at the helm. Jon Rothstein first broke the news that Mullin was leaving last night. Mullin cited “a recent personal loss” in his resignation statement (his older brother died of cancer in March)...
Chris Sale Is Messed Up Right Now
A fun way for a runner on third to give the middle finger to a pitcher without drawing a fine or suspension is to just straight-up steal home, when the ball’s in the pitcher’s hand. “I am not afraid of you,” the thief says. “I will make an extremely dumb choice and come away unscathed, because you w...