ball Page 594 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jimmy Butler: I Pooped On My Timberwolves Teammates Even Worse Than You Thought
New 76er and true cheesebutt Jimmy Butler appeared on teammate JJ Redick’s podcast this week, where he discussed, among other things, the circumstances of his exit from the Timberwolves. That’s a terribly cursed sentence, given what it describes, but these are two provolone-ass individuals, before w...
What The Hell Happened With Ben Roethlisberger On Sunday?
Sunday’s loss to the Tankin’ Grudens has sent Yinzer Nation into a full-on panic. The Steelers are still in first place in the AFC North, but they’re only a half-game up on the Ravens and they’ve lost three straight after a 7-2-1 start, with the Patriots and Saints up next. But what’s had every Greg...
Napoleon The Racing Corgi Crushes All Challengers, Is A Very Good Boy
Here is a true thing: Even the fastest corgi still looks like an absurd tubelike dog-snake hybrid. The Seattle Seahawks attempted to prove this with the 2018 Corgi Cup, which was held during halftime of Monday’s game. There were so many bread-shaped contenders that they had to hold two heats....
How Did Donald Trump Propose?
Today, we’re talking about Trump’s marriage proposal technique, breakfast foods, Home Depot, cursing sports announcers, and more....
No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes<em></em>
There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era...
Despised Coach Of Chicago Bulls, On Task Force Designed To Mitigate His Failings: "I'm Jacked Up"
It’s been just eight days since Fred Hoiberg got canned, opening up the Bulls head coach vacancy that was then filled by Jim Boylen. The speed with which the shit has leapt towards the fan strains credulity. But since the Bulls found themselves stuck under the thumb of this retrograde strongman, the...
Paul George's Two-Way Brilliance Has The Thunder Kicking Ass
Since starting the season 0-4—a stretch highlighted by giving up 131 points to the then-inept Sacramento Kings at home—the Oklahoma City Thunder have molted and become one of the NBA’s best teams. Blowout wins over elite teams like the Clippers and Warriors have been peppered in amid a tremendous 17...
Report: White Sox Acquire Starting Pitcher
MLB’s hot stove continues to burn the fingerprints off those who touch it, and the Chicago White Sox are somewhere in its vicinity, holding their palms up to try to warm up a little bit. The latest news out of the winter meetings, broken by The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal and his associate Robert Murra...
Joel Embiid, Who Has A Migraine And Diarrhea: “I Have A Migraine<em></em> And Diarrhea”
Joel Embiid is dealing with a few ailments....
Vikings Fire Passing-Only Offensive Coordinator John DeFilippo<em></em>
Only hours after his team was held scoreless for 58 minutes in a back-breaking Monday Night Football loss, Vikings offensive coordinator John DeFilippo has been fired, as first reported by NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport. DeFilippo lasted just 13 games in his second run as an NFL OC....
Ass Team Of The Week: Washington Sucked Down A Doo-Doo Milkshake On Purpose
Not so long ago Washington was a boring football team that nevertheless appeared destined to play in precisely one playoff game, which all Americans could feel comfortable skipping. On Sunday, though, they found themselves down 40-0 to the Giants, a very bad team that was also playing without Odell ...
LeBron Manages To Accidentally Torment Knicks Fans During Dwyane Wade's Farewell
LeBron James shared an NBA court for the last time with longtime buddy and former teammate Dwyane Wade last night. It was a fun and festive game that ended with Wade throwing up a crazy potential game-tying three and then hugging James right as the buzzer sounded. It also, briefly, left Knicks fans ...
The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird
It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....
Bulls Rudely Mocked For Jim Boylen's Practice Schedule Following Another Ugly Loss
Fresh off an air-clearing series of meetings having to do with interim head coach Jim Boylen being an overbearing dickweed, the lowly Bulls took the floor Monday night looking to reverse course after a historic beatdown. Their opponent, the Kings, is another team that was supposed to spend this seas...
Russell Wilson, What, And Why, And What
The Seahawks went into halftime of their Monday Night Football clash against the Vikings* holding a 3–0 lead. It wasn’t a real pretty half of football. Kirk Cousins and Russell Wilson combined for 71 yards of passing on 20 attempts, and the teams put together exactly two drives of anything that cou...
Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper
The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...
Raiders Fire GM Reggie McKenzie, Ideally Giving Jon Gruden Unlimited Power
Well, well, well. Raiders head coach Jon Gruden has two things to celebrate today. Not only did his team win Sunday after the Steelers cratered their pants, but today Oakland fired general manager Reggie McKenzie after almost seven seasons, creating an opportunity for Grudes to gain even more power....
It Only Took Four Bears To Make Jared Goff Look Like A Chump
Jared Goff had maybe the worst game of his career on Sunday night against the Bears, putting up just 180 passing yards on 44 attempts and tossing three non–Hail Mary interceptions and zero touchdowns in L.A.’s 15-6 loss. For a Rams team that had scored at least 29 points in each of its past six game...
Steph Curry Pulls Up From 238,900 Miles, Denies Moon Landing
Over the weekend, the Chang’e-4 spacecraft took flight from Sichaun province in China. It is bound for the far side of the Moon. The craft is expected to touch down early next month, becoming the first ever to “soft-land” on the far side. Where does Steph Curry think the craft is headed?...