ball Page 621 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Broncos QB Chad Kelly Arrested After Allegedly Trespassing In Stranger's Home, "Mumbling Incoherently"
Broncos backup quarterback Chad Kelly was booked into the Arapahoe County Jail this morning on charges of first-degree criminal trespassing. Ian Rapoport of NFL Network first reported the arrest....
The NFL Broke Former Players Like Me. Here's One Way To Fix Us.
Roger Goodell is a benevolent man. Last season, while negotiating his own new salary, he demanded lifetime health insurance for himself and his family—with a wink....
Ass Team Of The Week: Sean McDermott Cooked Up The Butt Meat And Derek Anderson Is Serving It
When watching the very bad football games that I have to watch in order to write this series, I sometimes like to play a game called How Long Can They Hide The Ass? This game consists of seeing how long a team that is known and verified to be butt can play any other way before the familiar stench re...
Derek Carr Denies Crying During Game: "Not One Tear. Not One Time."
Hours after The Athletic reported that Derek Carr has lost the confidence of his teammates, possibly because he cried, the Raiders quarterback set the record straight: He did NOT cry. In fact, he says he did not shed a single tear. Out of either eye! At any point!...
The John Smoltz Urban Legend That Was Too Good To Check
John Smoltz is, at this point in his second career as a color commentator, not really that good at the job. He understands the game well, but he’s also drowsy and grouchy in all the ways that old ballplayers tend to be: checked out and skeptical and reflexively salty about today’s players, grumpily ...
Luka Dončić Is Having A Ball
Lest Trae Young have all the fun beating up on an atrocious winless defense, his rookie foil Luka Dončić also got his last night in a 115-109 Mavericks win over the Bulls. Setting aside the joy of pitting a 19-and 20-year-old in mortal competition for purely narrative and/or Hawks-shaming purposes,...
It's Just Always Gonna Be Like This For The Wizards
Dwight Howard hasn’t played yet. He’s out with, literally, a sore ass. The guy starting in his place, Ian Mahinmi, has played a total of 33 minutes in three games; he’s committed 10 fouls and made one shot. The guy backing him up, Jason Smith, has a minus-22 net rating in 44 minutes and is shooting ...
Report: Derek Carr Has Lost The Confidence Of His Teammates, Possibly Because He Cried
Derek Carr, like the Raiders’ season, is well and ruined. The 27-year-old quarterback, who just two seasons ago looked like he would be the steady hand guiding the Raiders’ offense for the next decade or so, is now a lame duck. Khalil Mack is gone, Amari Cooper is gone, the Gruden-designed rebuild i...
Celebrating Goober Shooed Away From Lakers Bench After Hitting $30,000 Half-Court Shot
Lots of basketball happened tonight. Much of it was meaningless, or ridiculous, or both. This here is the basketball highlight of the night, though it happened during halftime:...
The Celtics Should Consider Doing More Scoring
Here’s an annoying early season NBA trend: The Boston Celtics, favorites to gain supremacy in a LeBron-less Eastern Conference, have the worst offensive rating in the NBA, following an ugly 93–90 home loss to the lowly Orlando Magic Monday night. In a season thus far marked by outrageously prolific ...
Don't Miss The Kemba Walker Show
A surefire way of embarrassing yourself is by saying anything optimistic-sounding about the Charlotte Hornets based on something they do in the first month of an NBA season. They finished each of the last two seasons with 36 wins, and their biggest roster upgrade headed into this season involved jet...
The Bills Did Not Get The Derek Anderson Renaissance, But They'll Give It Another Shot
Bills quarterback Nathan Peterman was so dreadful last week, the team had to bench him for 35-year-old Derek Anderson, who hadn’t started a game since 2016 but was the only remaining healthy QB on the roster, for Sunday’s contest against the Colts. Ah, but therein lies a conundrum: When Derek Ander...
Cheese Is Cascading From Jimmy Butler's Pores As If From A Grater
“Sure. Go ahead, boo me. It ain’t going to change the way I play. That’s going to make me smile more. So please, come on with it,” aspiring villain Jimmy Butler told Wolves reporter Jon Krawczynski a week ago....
Raving Cavs Fan Yells At Amused DeMarcus Cousins Because He "Destroyed The League"
“You ruined the NBA! It’s real funny! [Unintelligible burbling] money!” said a damp fan in a Cavaliers jersey to DeMarcus Cousins during Sunday’s Warriors-Nuggets game. “Punk ass! He destroyed the league,” added the rapidly reddening man....
The Cowboys Found Several Ways To Beat Themselves<em></em>
In the most NFC East–ass ending, the Cowboys lost Sunday to Washington on a missed game-ending field goal, which came after Dallas bungled its final drive and committed an inexplicable penalty....
Patrick Peterson "Desperately" Wants Out Of Arizona
The Arizona Cardinals are ass. Even in a sea of NFL ass, they are a deadly, towering ass iceberg. An assberg. They are 1-6 but spiritually 0-16. Patrick Peterson has had enough....
Raiders Officially Pack It In, Trade Amari Cooper To The Cowboys
A week after reports emerged that the Raiders were thinking of trading several of their recent first-round picks, it appears that they’ve started doing just that. Recently retired NFL cornerback Jerraud Powers first reported that the Raiders would send Cooper to the Cowboys for a first-round pick th...
Western Kentucky Found One Of The Strangest Ways To Lose A Football Game<em></em>
Unless you’re a fan of either team, or are Tim Burke, you were most likely not watching Saturday night’s college football game between one-win schools Western Kentucky and Old Dominion. You missed a nutty finish!...
Jaguars Fan Knocks Texans Fan Out Cold With Devastating Sucker Punch
At the start of the video below, a bald Texans fan is being held back by a man wearing a Jaguars Pete Mitchell jersey. Immediately, a few other Jags fans get in the Texans fan’s face, perhaps in response to something that happened out-of-frame a few rows down, where there’s also a commotion, sometim...
Trae Young Is Letting It Fly
Trae Young was a tempting punchline leading up to the draft, and even for sometime after. You can count me among those doubters, at least to the extent that I foresaw a future in which he the teeny depraved chucker would get steadily shredded on the other end of the floor. Which is to say, I foresaw...