ball Page 636 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ass Team Of The Week: The Vikings Reached Hell In 10 Minutes
It’s important to point out early on in this series that a team does not have to actually be ass in order to be the Ass Team Of The Week. A team that is very good in aggregate can still plunge to depths of buttness on any given day, as demonstrated by the Minnesota Vikings. They came into this seaso...
Sloppy Wrigley Bleacher Fight Features One Heroic Peacekeeper And One Racist Bro
Things got ugly in the Wrigley Field bleachers after last night’s Cubs game, with two groups of fans engaging in some messy brawling. Was there racism involved? Of course....
Ryan Fitzpatrick's Gotta Start Next Week, Right?
The second quarter was FitzTragic, as the Buccaneers QB—as of yesterday, and that’s all that’s certain—threw three interceptions on three consecutive passes. But that was an aberration, one quarter in three games. On the other hand, Ryan Fitzpatrick’s near-comeback in a 30-27 loss to the Steelers ge...
Thibs Is Still Working On Jimmy Butler
Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor is turning up the heat on Scott Layden and Tom Thibodeau to move quickly on a deal to move a disgruntled Jimmy Butler out of town. But that doesn’t mean Thibodeau is ready to abandon the zombie Bulls project just yet—according to Woj, Thibs is staying after Butler whil...
Report: Vikings Lineman Everson Griffen Threatened To Shoot Someone At Minneapolis Hotel
Everson Griffen missed Sunday’s surprising 27–6 home loss to the Buffalo Bills due to “a personal matter,” according to Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer. According to a report from ABC 5 Eyewitness News, the personal matter was a strange episode at the team’s Minneapolis team hotel Saturday that invol...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Finally Ryan Fitzpatricking
Oh boy. Last weekend Ryan Fitzpatrick was strutting around like a Times Square Conor McGregor impersonator, looking very secure as Tampa Bay’s starting quarterback after consecutive 400-yard performances. It’s now halftime of his team’s Monday Night Football matchup with the Pittsburgh Steelers, and...
Vance McDonald Buries Chris Conte With Devastating Stiff-Arm
The longest walk back to the sideline of Chris Conte’s life had to come after this 75-yard Vance McDonald touchdown catch-and-run. Bring in the Eternal Sunshine machine to wipe this moment out of Conte’s memory forever:...
The Giants Finally Used Saquon Barkley The Right Way
The Giants beat the Texans for their first win on Sunday, and they may have even saved their season. Aw, hell. This one calls for a few exclamation points. The offense looked like it wasn’t even trying to get Eli Manning killed! Manning actually played pretty well! Odell Beckham Jr. looked like Odel...
Report: Comerica Park Employee In Police Custody After Spitting On Pizza
A food services employee at Comerica Park, where the Detroit Tigers attempt to play professional baseball, is reportedly in police custody after another employee posted a video on Instagram of him spitting on the beginnings of a pizza while working at a concession stand....
Can Matt Patricia Break The Belichick Curse?<em></em>
Many of the modern NFL’s legendary coaches have impressive coaching trees. Hefty branches that bore much fruit. Assistants that became successful head coaches and who then mentored younger coaches to do the same. Bill Walsh coached Dennis Green, who coached Brian Billick, who coached Jack Del Rio, w...
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season
Dolphins defensive lineman William Hayes hurt himself while sacking Derek Carr yesterday, and today two worst-case scenarios were confirmed. Not only did Hayes tear his ACL on the play, he did so while trying to follow the NFL’s asinine new rule that prevents defenders from landing on the quarterbac...
Kawhi Leonard Is Ready To Have Some Fun<em></em>
When the Toronto Raptors officially introduced Kawhi Leonard today, he made it clear he’s trying to distance himself from his reputation as the oddball who mysteriously missed most of last season with the Spurs. ...
Khalil Mack Is Pass-Rushing Perfection
Khalil Mack’s first three games as a member of the Chicago Bears have gone like this: five tackles, two sacks, one forced fumble; five tackles, one sack, one forced fumble; three tackles, one sack, one forced fumble. He’s in the zone right now....
Jaguars Junction: Week Three
Blaine Gabbert. Blake Bortles. Bart Orglesby. Benet Brahmstocker-Quivit. This is: The Big Boys, of Football (NFL). ...
The Patriots Are Slllooooowwwww
Nobody is allowed to say that this is finally the season when it all comes apart for the New England Patriots until they have been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Nobody is allowed to do it! But what we can do, a few hours after the Pats were handily beaten on national TV by a Lio...
Didi Gregorius's Playoff-Clinching Slide Might Cost Him The Rest Of The Season
The Yankees clinched a spot in the Wild Card game on Saturday with a walk-off, 11th-inning win against the Orioles, which featured a dramatic Didi Gregorius head-first slide into home after the game-winning hit by Aaron Hicks....
Cosmo The Cougar's Head Goes Flying
Rough couple weeks for mascots. Last Saturday, Chip the Buffalo destroyed his dick and balls with a T-shirt cannon. This weekend, BYU’s Cosmo the Cougar was brutally beheaded on a tumbling pass. Warning: If you have a child who doesn’t realize there are humans inside mascot suits—you’ve raised a ver...
Listen To Earl Thomas
An NFL team wants to use a player up. Wants to squeeze every last bit of effectiveness and of health out of him, while he’s still under contract, and then discard him. It’s the nature of a salary-capped league where most players’ careers are over before they turn 30, a brutally cold calculation that...