ball Page 683 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Would Dropping Switch-Hitting Help Salvage Billy Hamilton's Horrendous Season?
Billy Hamilton has long been one of the most fun players in baseball. He runs like the wind, a trait that makes him a highlight factory both on the bases and in the outfield. He turns an otherwise harmless dribbler to third into a moment of genuine excitement, and his presence on base strikes terror...
Oh No, Vlad Jr.'s Injury Timeline Is Expanding
The Blue Jays put gentle dinger machine Vladimir Guerrero Jr. on the 7-day disabled list last weekend after he tweaked a leg injury on a dipshit single on Saturday. It was a tough blow, but we are grownups, and we can survive seven days without our strong dong-mashing idol. It has now been seven day...
The Sound When These Two Men Smash Their Dicks And Balls Together Will Stay With You Long Into The Night
This happened in the seventh inning of Saturday’s Mariners-Rays game, with a runner on first and the Rays holding a 6-3 lead. It was a clutch, inning-ending grab, but it came with great, great sacrifice:...
Of Course A Yankees Batter Found The Open Bullpen Door In The Mets Outfield
If I asked you which team in all of Major League Baseball had a bullpen door accidentally left open along their outfield wall, and then had a sharply hit ball by the opposition find exactly the absolute center of that three feet of space, as if guided by the movement of the very cosmos, and go throu...
Brave Beer Improbably Survives Man's Head-First Pursuit Of Foul Ball
By far the most captivating part of this fan’s frankly alarmingly committed pursuit of a foul ball at Saturday’s Orioles-Blue Jays game is that poor beer in his left hand. Will it survive? Won’t anyone think of the beer??...
A Good Idea For Getting LeBron James Onto The Celtics
The Boston Celtics showed up, somewhat unexpectedly, on a list Stephen A. Smith made of teams “in the mix” to land LeBron James in free agency this summer (Smith is a dingus, but he was ahead of everyone on LeBron going to Miami in 2010, so his list can’t be summarily dismissed). The Celtics weren’t...
We Now Live In A World Where Nick Young Is An NBA Champion
It was otherwise a shitty, forgettable NBA Finals series, but at least it produced this fascinating outcome: Nick Young (!) joins fellow Cinnamon Challenge hero and former Wizards knucklehead JaVale McGee (!!) as an NBA champion. The sheer improbability of Nick Young finding a role on a championship...
LeBron Busted His Hand In A Rage After That Game 1 Meltdown
I am certainly not going to pretend to believe this might’ve significantly changed the trajectory of the series, but it’s also not nothing: LeBron James reportedly played the last three games of the Finals with a busted-up hand after he punched a black board following Cleveland’s world-historic bone...
Thank God That's Over
Man, Game 4 sucked. Just as a basketball exhibition, it sucked, in exactly the way that all blowouts suck, before we even get to the part where it was an elimination game in the NBA Finals. However valiantly the Cavs fought earlier in the series, Game 4 made clear just what a ghastly, hilariously lo...
Let's Remember Some Guys: More 1981 Fleer Mustache Aficionados
If you’re not remembering, are you forgetting? It’s a question that has vexed and divided the Guy Remembering community for centuries. Our work, in Remembering, is fundamentally about sustaining—about keeping alive the memory of Steve Jeltz’s very wet hair, or a terribly rude song that someone sang ...
Minnesota Football Players Involved In Sexual Assault Investigation Sue School For $45 Million
Nine of the 10 Minnesota football players who were temporarily or permanently suspended at the conclusion of a 2016 university sexual assault investigation are suing the school for $5 million apiece....
Fuck!!!!!! Shohei Ohtani Fucked Up His Fucking Arm!!!!!!
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!...
A Dramatic Reading Of Bryan Colangelo's Resignation As GM Of The Philadelphia 76ers
Is this the stupidest thing we’ve ever put on the website? Uh, sound off in the comments I guess. I’m just really sorry about all this....
Giants' Zak DeOssie Reported His Super Bowl Rings Stolen, Actually Left Them On Top Of His Car
Last month Zak DeOssie thought his championship rings were purloined, but a police investigation concluded that the Giants long snapper had done what many people have with coffee mugs, briefcases, and other items they forget about while getting into their car....
So Much Cool: My Night Among Joyous And Drunken Caps Fans<em></em>
Tomorrow is a bigass waste of time. I am a grown adult, which means that the majority of my decisions are based around tomorrow. I save money. I go to bed at a reasonable hour. I don’t do crack. Tomorrow dictates a great deal of my actions, which is a shame because today is RIGHT HERE to be celebrat...
Are The Orioles Going To Let Chris Davis Have The Worst Season Ever?
Orioles first baseman Chris Davis is in real danger of having the worst season in the history of baseball. That’s not a joke or hyperbole. He’s playing unbelievably, historically bad baseball:...
Extremely Online Baseball Knowers Go To War Over "Games Above .500"
Baseball is Ye Olde American Pastime, old enough to have developed its own language and customs and conventions. For example, everyone who follows baseball knows that “7.1 innings” should be understood to mean “seven-and-a-third innings,” even though that’s not at all how decimals work. You could re...
Universe Snuffs Last Remaining Spark Of Joy, Sends Vlad Jr. To The Disabled List
In an absolute bullcrap turn of events, dear sweet masher Vladimir Guerrero Jr. was sent to the disabled list Thursday with an injured leg. Per the Toronto Sun:...
Pseudonymous Redditor Breaks Julian Edelman PED Suspension News Hours Ahead Of ESPN Report
ESPN’s Field Yates and Adam Schefter reported Thursday afternoon that Julian Edelman is facing a four-game PED suspension from the NFL, pending an ongoing appeal. This is important news, for a number of reasons: New England’s receiving corps was thinned out during the offseason, making Edelman’s pro...
Kendrick Perkins And Kevin Durant Have A Friendly, Obscene Moment Together
Kendrick Perkins, nominally on the Cavs roster, is just there to wear a suit and start shit. He’s a large, rude chaperone who escorts the team from Cleveland to the Bay and back, occasionally stepping up to yell at or near Drake or knock knees with Steph Curry. Last night he fully embraced his role ...