ball Page 809 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Aaron Rodgers Does It Again In Dallas

A pair of missed extra points from Mason Crosby looked like they could be the difference in a Green Bay loss today, but instead, they simply set the stage for yet another signature Aaron Rodgers comeback at Cowboys Stadium, and Green Bay won 35-31....

Glove-Aided Dinger Helps Red Sox Stave Off Elimination

The Red Sox-Astros series was looking like a real turd heading into Game 3, with the Astros having outscored the Red Sox 16-4 in a pair of lopsided games in Houston. The Red Sox responded Sunday afternoon at Fenway with some overdue offense and managed to push the series to a Game 4....

Ben Roethlisberger Threw Five Picks Against The Jaguars

The 3-2 Jaguars have already matched their win total from all of last season, after humiliating Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers today. Big Ben had an abysmal game against Jacksonville’s defense as he threw five picks for the first time ever in a 30-9 loss. Here are four of them....

Purity Of Cardinal Way Being Polluted By Outsiders, Says Ridiculous Column

The St. Louis Cardinals have missed the playoffs for two consecutive seasons now. Some might say this is because they’ve become a middling NL team in both offense and pitching, and that an infusion of talent might propel them upwards from those low-to-mid-80s win totals, where they will probably nee...

Odell Beckham Jr. Carted Off Field After Painful-Looking Leg Injury [Updates]

Giants superstar wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. suffered what looked like a nasty left leg injury late in today’s game against the Chargers. He was carted off the field in visible anguish....

Leonard Fournette Flies Over The Pile From The Four-Yard Line

Faced with the prospect of needing to run through the Steelers’ defense right near the goal line, Jaguars rookie running back Leonard Fournette decided to take the path of least resistance. Instead of taking a pounding from Pittsburgh’s linemen, Fournette flew over them, easily clearing a pileup wit...

The Eagles Pulled Off A Ridiculously Elaborate Baseball-Themed TD Celebration

Famous South Jersey native and baseball player Mike Trout is at the Eagles game today, so the team’s offense performed an impressively elaborate baseball celebration to honor him (and possibly recruit him for the Phillies, who knows)....

The Chargers Gave The Giants Two Points

Safeties are one of the most exciting plays in football. That might sound weird, since they’re only worth two points, don’t decide games very often, if ever, but they’re fun! Also, the safety is the only play in football where players celebrate by impersonating the referee....

Fragile Stooge Mike Pence Walks Out Of 49ers-Colts Because Of Anthem Demonstration [Updates]

Mike Pence, a cauliflower that was once victimized by the movie Mulan, claimed that he walked out of today’s 49ers-Colts game, because the players supposedly disrespected the troops during the rote nationalistic pre-game ceremony. While the Colts stood arm-in-arm during the anthem, a reported 23 mem...

Myles Garrett Gets A Sack On His First NFL Play

First overall pick Myles Garrett had to miss the start of the season with an ankle sprain, but in his first career NFL appearance, he quickly made up for lost time, rushing through some awful blocking to get a sack on his very first NFL snap....

Nuggets Lock Up Part Of Their Core, Agree To Contract Extension With Gary Harris

The Denver Nuggets have reportedly agreed to an extension with Gary Harris, to the tune of four years and $84 million, with $74 million guaranteed and the remaining $10 million triggered by individual performance bonuses....

For A Marginally Improved Outlook: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL

Today’s counterprogramming schedule is light on sports, with club soccer taking a break this weekend, but the NBA preseason is ramping up, there’s playoff baseball, a Star Wars marathon, a fair amount of pre-Halloween programming, and, hey, Blade Runner 2049 is really, really, really fucking good. T...

Outdoor Adventurer Thabo Sefolosha Saved A Woman From Drowning

Hey, what’d you do this summer? I built half a porch onto my house, badly, and now have to climb over a construction zone in order to enter my home, with no end in sight. Probably you did something a lot cooler than this. If you’re Thabo Sefolosha, some of what you did this summer is save a woman fr...

Don't Do It! Don't Do It!

Oh, you doubt Rashaad Penny’s Heisman bona fides?...

It's The Rare Double-Clutch Extra Point Attempt

Utah lost anyway, but at least they made things interesting in the process....

We're Still Trying To Figure This One Out

Hurricanes Stay Undefeated With 75-Yard Drive In 80 Seconds

Malik Rosier drove Miami 75 yards after a late FSU score to deny the Seminoles a rivalry win and keep the Hurricanes undefeated in finding Darrell Langham on a 23-yard touchdown pass that seized a 24-20 victory....

Here Is How To Turn Victory Into Defeat In 99 Yards

Miami U. has been the MAC’s punching bag for a decade, but the hapless RedHawks had a chance to beat a very bad BGSU team with a first-and-goal from the one and less than two minutes left in the game. Miami did not win, because they fumbled and allowed the Falcons’ Brandon Harris to take it the leng...

James Harden Says Kevin McHale Is A Clown For Questioning His Leadership

This one started with Kevin McHale, who coached James Harden for three-plus seasons in Houston, lightly but directly criticizing Harden’s capacity as a team leader, during an NBA TV panel discussion this week:...

At Slapfight, Actual Slap