baseball Page 316 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Monday Update On The Player Who Was Traded For Bats
No matter what John Odom does from here on out — make it to the majors; get multiple World Series rings; become Pope — he will always be remembered as the player who was traded for bats. It happened last week, as Odom was sent from the Calgary Vipers of the Golden League to the Laredo Broncos of the...
Woody Paige Would Like To Trade Matt Holliday For Magic Beans
We've certainly made fun of Woody Paige for a while around these parts, but we've still given him a level of esteem and prestige above that of a random late-night talk-radio caller. But considering the amount of basic understanding (or lack thereof) of how the operation of a baseball team works he s...
Cubs Sail Blindly Into Uncharted Waters
So Chicagoans awoke this morning, poked themselves with sharp objects and discovered that, no, they weren't dreaming. As the sun came up on the month of June, Cubs fans found themselves with the best record in baseball; the first time that has happened so late in the season since Heinie Zimmerman a...
As If The World Doesn't Hate Americans Enough Already
We start off your work week with a shocking, disturbing video that proves that American-Sino relations are potentially in the worst state since the Red Scare. We've got people over there on their Great Wall … converting people the Red Sox Nation....
Bert Blyleven Loves To Fart
OK, now I get it. I've always wondered why Bert Blyleven wasn't in the Hall of Fame, and now it's clear: Post-game flatulence. He's just simply farted on too many writers over his long career. It's all here in this rather surreal interview with Big League Stew....
Your 2008 Israeli Baseball League Season Tickets Are Now Worth Bubkes
A sad day, folks: The Israeli Baseball League has cancelled its 2008 season. We don't want to point any fingers, but, uh, you know, the players were chosen by former Red Sox GM Dan Duquette. Might be a factor....
Mariah Isn't Even The Worst
The famous Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory is still probably the worst, though his endless "jokey" PR campaign about it took a lot of the fun out of it. If we ever had to throw out a first pitch sometime, we'd be so nervous, we probably wouldn't do much better. We wonder if celebrities can just start ...
Larry Wayne Jones Jr. And The Chase For .400
The controversy continues to rage: Should a grown man answer to the name of Chipper? My vote is no, unless you appeared in a '60s sitcom starring Fred MacMurray, or are hitting over .400 in the major leagues. Here's to Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves, who is hitting .420 as of Thursday night aft...
Safeco Not A Welcoming Place For Gay Couples Brazen Enough To Show Affection
According to one unhappy Mariners fan, the security guards at Safeco Field almost got her tossed her out of a Mariners game last week because she was "making out" with her girlfriend in the stands....
The Wacky, Life-Changing Saga Of Roger Clemens Continues To Unravel
Everybody's favorite crackpot country crooner, Mindy McCready is being questioned by the FBI about her relationship with Roger Clemens. The Feds are hoping she'll disclose some sort of lucid information that will prove Clemens perjured himself about his steroid usage and they can put him in jail....
Julian Tavarez, Still Crazy, Still Losing Stuff
Next month, we'll be heading to Fenway Park to see our Cardinals play the Red Sox. We've been trying to calm our parents down; they're a little afraid Boston fans will come after them for wearing Cardinals garb. We don't think so. Cardinals fans and Red Sox fans have always gotten along well, thanks...
When Did Fernando Tatis Come Back?
Forgive us here, but we couldn't help but wonder, upon seeing highlights of the Mets' 12th-inning win over the Marlins last night ... Fernando Tatis is back in baseball? Wha?...
The Altoona Curve Salutes All Quitters (And You Know Who You Are)
It's Minor Enterprise, where we chronicle the glory and spectacle of minor league baseball promotions, pausing only to hail the beer vendor every half inning or so....
The (Bleep) Pot Is Boiling Over In Kansas City. (Bleep)
Speaking just for myself, I think it's refreshing that we have a profanity-laced, post-game tirade by someone named Guillen whose first name is not Ozzie. Meet José Guillen, the Royals outfielder who lit into teammates on Wednesday following their 9-8, 10-inning loss to the Twins, which ran Kansas C...
Brucemania Energizes A Weary Nation
The only thing we really know about Jay Bruce so far: He likes enormous hats. Look at that thing. You could keep your wallet and keys in there. But other than that he's just about perfect; at least according to Reds' fans. It's Brucemania! Here's how firmly it's taken hold on Day One: Reds bloggers ...
Welcoming The Pill In A Leathery Embrace ... No!
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Washington Little Leaguers Don't High-Five Like You And I Do
I used to wonder about the Washington State Little League motto: "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Nothing about honesty and fair play? But now it makes perfect sense. And I used to think that the post-game handshake line wasn't worth recording ......
Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...
We Must All Protect Alfonso Soriano's Feelings
You know the Cubs are competitors this year because their fans are getting ornery. And the target of their orneriness has been Alfonso Soriano, who plays left field as if he's crossing ice with eels as slippers. But the Cubs organization has had just about enough of fans' darned negativity....
Worst. Spider-Man Sequel. Ever.
I've always thought that this was an urban myth, but no, apparently it really exists. A couple of observations about this old Electric Company TV classic episode of Spidey Super Stories: 1. Why is Spider-Man relegated to the Shea Stadium bleachers? He doesn't at least rate a box seat like Seinfeld? ...