baseball Page 356 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Back ... Back ... Oh, Forget It
The best description of last night's Home Run Derby — won by Vladimir Guerrero, shown here with a friend who's a tad too excited about the whole business — was in the comments this morning: "Why does an event that has 8 participants require 9 people to cover it?" This made a certain mad sense to us....
Prepare For The Brain Explosion That Is The Home Run Derby
We know we got yelled at just this morning for recycling — consider the "Year Ago In Deadspin" feature toast — but it's Home Run Derby, and that means just one thing: It's the day Chris Berman lives for, and the day the rest of us pray for a quick, merciful death. (Last year, we actually watched si...
Dan Shaughnessy Needs Your Help!
A couple of months ago, everybody's favorite Curly Haired Boyfriend — credit to Simmons: No nasty emails please, Bill! — Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy release a memoir about his son's senior year of high school baseball. Whatever your thoughts on this — and we suspect you have some — the bo...
Dane Cook Is The Face Of Postseason Baseball
If you're Major League Baseball, you have a veritable cornucopia of options of whom you should choose to serve as your postseason spokesperson. You could use Tommy Lasorda, like last year, though there's always the dangerous possibility he could ask Joe Buck to show off his swirly move. You could us...
The Wind Was Angry That Day, My Friends
"Help! The infield tarp has got me!" If you heard those words, what would you do? The host Colorado Rockies cowered in their dugout, but the Phillies' Shane Victorino is made of stronger stuff. Hearing the panicky cries of Rockies groundskeeper Keros Johnson, who was trapped in the middle of a wind-...
Felix Hernandez Informed By Internet That He Has Other Pitches Besides Fastball
All right, I initially highlighted the mischievousness of sports blogs to preface you all with some of the goodness sportsbloggery can achieve in life. The blog U.S.S. Mariner wrote an open letter to Seattle Mariners pitching coach Rafael Chavez, wherein he mentions how Felix Hernandez throws way to...
They Were The Games That Never End, Yes They Went On And On My Friend
Omigod, We're Gonna Be Here Forever. It's now time to discuss universal differences between men and their girlfriends regarding extra innings. When the game spills into the 10th inning, guys are usually excited that they are watching extra baseball for free. The girlfriends, meanwhile, are just tick...
A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...
One More Pittsburgh Pirates Fan Will Stake A Walkout
Earlier this year, Kevin McClatchy released the chair of Pittsburgh Pirates majority owner from his grasp. Since he was on a roll, yesterday he announced he will let go of another cherished title at the end of the year: CEO. Hey, if you love something, let it go. If it finally earns a winning season...
Maybe it's because Eric Byrnes is just too IN YOUR FACE for the studio. Maybe Fox Sports is afraid his energy and enthusiasm could, at any given moment, blow away Jeanne Zelasko's carbon-fiber wig. Either way, the Arizona Diamondbacks centerfielder, who plays analyst when his team no longer plays ba...
It's A Football Score! Get It?
Guys, We Were Closer When We Gave Up 20 Runs. Go ahead. Make the joke. "It's a football score!" Haw haw haw! Because, see, 20-14 is the kind of final score you might see in an NFL game. But you never hear the joke "Wow, maybe they were playing lacrosse!" Or, "Golly, looks like he should have hit on ...
The Kansas City T-Bones Will Bag You A Possum
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
The Orem Owlz Medium Is The Message
For years, we have watched the totalitarian media/mind control tactics of the rookie-level Pioneer League team the Orem Owlz with a wary eye. They have sat there, in their megalomaniacal castle in Utah, acting as if they are the rulers of all the survey, wielding their power indiscriminately and wit...
Bad Day For Neshek
It was a bad day all around for Pat, who suffered his first loss last night. Fortunately, his beautiful designed Web site — not that we should talk — will keep updating, and even putting up these in-no-way-uncomfortable-to-watch videos. Next year, Pat. Next year....
The Brewers Meet The Furries
When the Milwaukee Brewers played in Pittsburgh this week, they ended up staying at the same hotel as a Furry Convention. (It's actually the Furry Convention.) That's Bob Uecker and one of them above. The notion of the Milwaukee Brewers hanging out in the same hotel as Furries might seem funny to ...
The Adventures Of Chip And Dale
OK, so maybe the Atlanta Braves career home run leaders list isn't the most imposing statistical group in baseball (Ryan Klesko is in the top 10). But Chipper Jones is No. 1, and you can't take that away from him ... at least until Jeff Francoeur passes him in 2012. Jones hit homers from both sides ...
We Doubt Anna Benson Would Have Stood For This
To wrap up today, here's yet another example of just how weird professional athletes are, from a few days ago: They sometimes live in a batting cage. That's what the Angels' Reggie Willits does, anyway....