basketball Page 328 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Unborn Baby Yao Causes An International Incident
Conspiracy theorists in China believe that Yao Ming just brought his pregnant wife back to the US so she can give birth to an American citizen. Lou Dobbs is not going to be happy....
Conan Plays The Lovable Loser, But On The Court As Well?
Conan O'Brien might have some downtime coming up. So the Washington Generals, they of the decades-long losing streak, have reached out and offered him a starting spot....
Whites-Only Basketball League Swears It's Not Racist
A Georgia man is forming a whites-only pro basketball league "due to the proliferation of non-organized play." (i.e., "brown guys.") The Augusta Chronicle promises it's not a hoax, because pro wrestling promoters named "Moose" are very trustworthy....
No, Shaq Didn't
Like many of you, I went to elementary school, high school and college. I took such and such classes, earned such and such grades, and amassed such and such degrees....
Joakim Noah To LeBron James: "You're A Jerk"
Last night's Cavs-Bulls game was marked by an argument between LeBron James and Joakim Noah, occasioned by King James dancing on the sidelines during Cleveland's 101-87 win. The b-word was apparently thrown, ooh!...
The Handwringing Over Jeremy Tyler's Foreign Adventure Has Begun
Jeremy Tyler left high school to play professionally in the Holy Land, where the plan was to do a credible Kevin Garnett impression and expose the folly of the minimum-age rule. The plan was not to play like Oliver Miller....
Incredibly Earnest Preteen Coach Is YouTube Gold
Coach Noah might be the greatest thing to happen to basketball since the shot clock. You only think I'm kidding....
Owning A Russian Basketball Team Can Be Hazardous To Your Health
If future Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov ever invites you to watch a game in the owner's box, don't accept. Not only will you be stuck watching the Nets, there's a decent chance you'll be caught up in an assassination attempt....
The Filipino Ron Artest Suspended One Year For Slugging Fan
Wynne "Tiny" Arboleda of the Philippine Basketball Association has been suspended for the entire 2009-10 season after he went all Daniel Plainview on a fan during a game. At least he'll have more time to work on his rap album....
Cavs Hero Banned From Scrimmage, Exiled From Bartertown
LeBron can make a movie and Shaq can spend the summer boxing kangaroos, but Delonte West has to sit out today's Cavs scrimmage, just because his reality show, Delonte West Beyond Thunderdome, didn't have any cameras or anything....
Jim Carroll: The Bard Of The Hardwood
Carroll — junkie, author, schoolboy basketball star — died Friday of a heart attack while working at his desk. He was a hopped-up Holden Caulfield with a jump shot, and the closest thing basketball ever had to a poet laureate....
Chinese Basketball Fans Riot Because Player Is Too Tall
China's Dream Basketball League has a height limit—no one over 6'2" is allowed. But one oversized trickster tried to sneak his way in and basically brought the league to its knees....
Birmingham's Fake Basketball Tournament Causes International Incident
Venezuela's national basketball team flew all the way to Alabama to participate in an international tournament, only to discover they were the only international team there. Also, the "tournament" was just one game. You've done it again, Birmingham, Alabama....
North Korean Heir Is Basically That Guy You Knew In 1996 Who Always Wore A Toni Kukoc Jersey
The presumptive heir to North Korean crazy person Kim Jong Il and all his crappy missiles is a brooding 26-year-old who apparently loves basketball in general and a certain Croatian point-forward in particular....
Diagramming Sarah Palin's "Full-Court Press" Metaphor
Last Friday, Sarah Palin shrugged into her respectable Republican cloth coat and announced she was resigning from office. Along the way, she dropped a somewhat baffling basketball analogy, which we've helpfully diagrammed for you below, just as Palin described it....
Who's Got Next At The White House?
Did you know Barack Obama plays basketball? I certainly didn't. Word on the street, though, is that he's all about playing a little pick-up ball every now and voting day....
Beware The Slow-Footed Enormity Of Sun MingMing
There's a new Asian monster stomping through the Japanese leagues and he is the tallest human being ever to play basketball. At 7'9", Sun MingMing is three inches taller than Yao Ming. (No relation.)...
Malcolm Gladwell Wants To Know Why Your Team Doesn't Press More
There's a very lengthy article in The New Yorker this week, from uber-contrarian Malcolm Gladwell arguing that basketball teams should press more often, because it helps weak teams upset strong ones. (Except when it doesn't.)...
Jeremy Tyler Is Too Cool For School
Sorry Rick Pitino; Jeremy Tyler will not need your services in 2011. In fact, not only is the 6-foot-11 center bypassing Louisville to play in Europe, he's even skipping his senior year of high school....
Well To Be Fair, It Was A Bad Call
Parent sets some kind of record after being ejected for swearing at the refs after only 30 seconds ... from a fifth grade girls basketball game. [Des Moines Register]...