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NCAA athletes can keep scholarships with opt-out [UPDATED]
The NCAA will allow students to opt-out of the season due to concerns over COVID-19 and still honor athletic scholarships, it was reported Wednesday....
Is There Any Big Ten Program That <i>Doesn't</i> Have a Hideous Sex Abuse Scandal Lurking In Its Past?
Once is a mistake, twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern....
It's Absolutely Fine That Donald Trump Got Booed At The World Series
Every now and then, Boris Johnson stumbles stammering down a street in England looking like a toilet brush that has somehow been granted admission to a fancy private school. Cameras are trained on him because he’s the prime minister of the United Kingdom, but they were on him before. He has been, ...
Oklahoma's Playoff Chances Might Have Just Died Because Of A Couple Frames Of Video
Let’s get the obvious out of the way now: Kansas State’s performance on Saturday against No. 5 Oklahoma was, for all intents and purposes, deserving of a victory. But that’s what makes exactly how the 48-41 win was sealed all the more frustrating....
Gross, Someone Let Their Cat Puke In The Stanley Cup
There’s a long and storied history of NHL players putting gross shit in the Stanley Cup in the offseason after they win it all. But whoever let their cat vomit up this hairy this mound of flesh-colored puke into the Cup yesterday owes everybody an apology. In the past, the trophy’s been filled with...
Enormous Dog Rescued After Hiking Too Much
This is Floyd. He weighs 190 pounds. He is safe now....
Down A Hole: The Missing Scenes Of <i>Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World Of Golf</i>
There are currently two cable news networks devoted to celebrating and defending Donald Trump. Both are widely watched by the most distraught elderly people in the United States, including the president himself, and Trump has made a point of involving various personalities from that network—haunted ...
This Guy Truly Has No Idea What He's Talking About
It is a problem for President Donald Trump that it’s often impossible to tell what the hell he’s talking about. This is not one of those signature Trump defects that can readily be spun into a secret strength or as a subtle bit of advanced dealcraft that only experts and initiates can appreciate. H...
Donald Trump Namedrops “Big Strong Guy” Ryan Klesko During Mariano Rivera Ceremony
Donald Trump’s speech this afternoon was relatively lucid. He stayed on topic, and he even used a series of facts to prove his point, which was that Mariano Rivera was the greatest baseball pitcher of all time. It wasn’t quite diplomacy, but this 15-minute speech about baseball might have been the l...
Donald Trump: We Love Bill Belichick, Don't We, And Also Curing AIDS?
There are two versions of President Donald Trump that appear in public. They both inhabit the same body—the same Youppi-shaped torso pitched forward at the same implausible angles, same ghost-pale eyelids fluttering alarmingly, same resplendent candyfloss Kangol of hair stuck on top of it like a wei...
The Great Wonder Of The NFL Is Ben Roethlisberger's Dreadfully Large Head
The Steelers got their asses kicked in by the Patriots last night, and you only need to take one look at Ben Roethlisberger’s big dumb head to understand just how poorly the game went for his team....
Bigoted Wrestling Fans Are Getting Loud And Promotions Need To Set Boundaries
All Elite Wrestling’s All Out, the promotion’s fourth event and the last before their weekly TV show launches on TNT on October 2, ran on Saturday night in the Chicago suburb of Hoffman Estates. One of the key storytelling aspects of the show was setting up the match to determine the first AEW Women...
Donald Trump Is Not Going To Let This Hurricane Thing Go
It can be difficult to remember given that he routinely appears on television with toilet paper on the soles of both his shoes and at least one of his hands stuck in a big jug of peanut butter, but Donald Trump’s opening position in all things is that he has never been wrong. He has been wronged, an...
Lonzo Ball Says His Big Baller Brand Basketball Shoes Were Flimsy Pieces Of Crap
In news that will come as no sort of shock to anyone whose admiration of the Ball family does not rise to the level of actual cartoon swirly eyes, the wildly expensive ZO2 shoes that were the foundation of the failed Big Baller Brand apparel line were apparently utter piles of shit, totally unsuited...
What Gymnastics Did To Jessica Howard
When Jessica Howard entered the world of gymnastics in 1987, she was three years old and wore a pink leotard adorned with poodles. She would go on to become a three-time national champion and later serve on the board of USA Gymnastics. The experience would nearly kill her....
Look At This Weird Thing Donald Trump Just Belched Up<i></i>
In March, a young whale beached itself in Davao City, in the Philippines. When scientists from the local museum—it is, delightfully, called D’Bone Collector Natural History Museum—did a necropsy on the whale after its death, they discovered that it had starved to death because its stomach contained...
The Big President Is Now Wet
Donald Trump goes by many names, but none is more apt than “the Big Wet President,” coined by our David Roth. The second adjective gets at a spiritual if not literal truth: the leader of the free world is always just kind of limply flopping around, even if he rarely glistens in an actual coat of mo...
Mitchie Brusco Lands First-Ever 1260 In Skateboarding Competition
At the 1999 X Games in San Francisco, Tony Hawk became the first person in competitive skateboarding history to land a 900, two-and-a-half rotations. It took 20 years, but someone’s added another 360 degrees. At last week’s X Games in Minneapolis, 22-year-old Mitchie Brusco pulled off the first 12...
Texans Rookie Lonnie Johnson Jr. Got Kicked Out Of Practice For Tackling Like A Psycho
The Texans and Packers held a joint practice yesterday, and as is often the case when two teams that are already grumpy from practicing every day in high temperatures get together, a fight broke out. This was different from your standard training-camp fight, though, because it was instigated by one ...
The Reds Should Play Every Game In Sleeveless Jerseys
Cleveland thoroughly trounced the Cincinnati Reds on Sunday, 11-1. While a professional baseball knower might make a note about Cincinnati’s shoddy bullpen, or Greg Allen’s impressive day in the batter’s box and out in the field, I found the most interesting aspect of the game to be the Reds’ jersey...