big Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
American Soccer Is Fine
Zack Steffen, an American soccer player who currently plies his trade on U.S. soil, is set to join the English Premier League’s reigning champions. The Columbus Crew have announced that the MLS Goalkeeper of the Year will be moved to Manchester City Football Club next summer for an undisclosed trans...
Normal Man Donald Trump Hilariously Fucks Up Army-Navy Coin Toss
There are many compelling reasons why a reasonable person might not want to be President of the United States. The hours and stress and travel are crushing, because the broader responsibility of the job is so crushing. What a president can or cannot actually do to alter the broader course of things...
Mike Locksley's Questionable Coaching Past Makes Him An Odd Hire For Maryland
Alabama offensive coordinator, and Broyles Award recipient, Mike Locksley was named Maryland’s head football coach on Tuesday, as first reported by Stadium’s Brett McMurphy. Locksley served as the Terps’ interim head coach in 2015, following the firing of Randy Edsall, and was an offensive coordinat...
Please Enjoy This Enormous Australian Cow
What you’re looking at here is a cow named Knickers, a Holstein Friesian that lives on a farm in Western Australia with a bunch of other regulation-size cows that honestly look laughably small—like a child’s toys, like a dull child’s stupid playthings—in comparison. This is because Knickers, per Per...
Chris Olave Continues Breakout Day For Ohio State With Touchdown From Blocked Punt
Ohio State’s special teams made up for the muffed kickoff that set up Michigan to cut the lead down to two with a blocked punt that was returned for a touchdown with 4:41 left in the third quarter. What made this return special, though, wasn’t just that it was smooth as all hell, but that it came fr...
Ohio State Returns Momentum To Michigan With Muffed Fair Catch Attempt
For a majority of the first half, Ohio State has turned Michigan’s top-ranked defense into mincemeat. Dwayne Haskins has thrown for three touchdowns and hasn’t been under any serious pressure all game. So when Michigan scored its first touchdown of the day to cut Ohio State’s lead down to eight with...
Down With Big Scooter<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about Chewbacca pooping, Trump, dinosaur fights, sneezing, and more....
Julio Jones Jacks Up Dallas' Jeff Heath To Prevent Interception
Julio Jones isn’t just an all-pro receiver who’s currently leading the league in receiving yards, he’s also a bonafide hard-hitter on the football field. Late in the first half, Matt Ryan took a shot down field for his star receiver to grab, but he overthrew the pass. Had Julio Jones’s safety instin...
Man, Maryland Really Should've Won That
Maryland had an opportunity to upset a top-10 nationally-ranked program at home and secure bowl eligibility for the first time in two seasons. All the team had to do was convert a two-point try to take the win in overtime. Despite having a very open receiver in the end zone, quarterback Tyrrell Pigr...
Rutgers Disrespects Philadelphia With Failed Rendition Of Famous Trick Play
Down 13 points more than halfway through the third quarter, Rutgers decided to be bold against the visiting Penn State Nittany Lions and go for it on fourth-and-goal, just two yards shy from the end zone. Taking some advice from the professional team just south of Jersey, the Scarlet Knights decided...
There Should Always Be A Big Game On Saturday Night
One of my friends hosted a Halloween party at his house on the same night as Game 4 of the World Series. Many people, in fact, were hosting parties on the same night as Game 4 of the World Series, because the game occurred during Halloween weekend on a Saturday night. Parties, as I hope you know, fr...
This is a couple of weeks old, but it’s endearing: A diehard Vancouver Grizzlies fan went on a mission to find the defunct team’s reclusive center Bryant “Big Country” Reeves. Unlike a lot of quests in this vein, she actually reached a satisfying resolution. That resolution at one point includes Big...
<i>Mike & Mike</i>, Now Mike And Mike, Reunite As Mikes To Celebrate <i>Mike & Mike </i>
It looks like time (and awards) heals all Mike wounds, because Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg appeared pleased to be in each other’s company last night as they were inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame, less than two years after they reportedly could barely even make eye contact with each other of th...
This Is All Donald Trump Has Left
President Donald Trump often stands near a helicopter on the White House’s South Lawn while reporters shout questions at him. Certain elements of this ritual are the same every time. The wheedling honk of Trump’s voice and the uneasy tilt of his standing-on-a-hoverboard-for-the-first-time posture ar...
Michigan State Made Its Intentional Safety Look Like A Terrible Decision In Just Five Plays
In the final minute of the third quarter, down 7-6, Michigan State intentionally took a safety on fourth down in what was likely a decision to try and give Ohio State worse field position on the ensuing punt than what one kicked from the one-yard line would yield....
Ultrarunner Courtney Dauwalter Takes On The World's Most Sadistic Endurance Race
Gary Cantrell clanged a bell at 6:40 a.m. on Saturday, Oct. 20, signaling 70 runners to jog off into the woods on his farm in Tennessee. They had an hour to complete a 4.1667-mile loop trail. Easy. Most of the group finished with 15 minutes to spare. The bell clanged again at 7:40 a.m., and they ran...
Remember When Donald Trump Asked If Pittsburgh Was Going To Bring Back Joe Paterno, Who Was Dead?
When Donald Trump is dropping remarkable word-turds every single day, some of them will inevitably be lost with the passage of time. In the last two weeks alone the Big Wet President has renamed a simpering fatberg “Beautiful Ted,” and he’s asked every man in an audience of 6,000 to raise his hand ...
Nebraska Kickoff Attempt Goes Hilariously Awry
Nebraska got off to a surprise start against No. 8 Ohio State on Saturday, striking first off a 12-play drive of 75 yards to take an early 7-0 lead. The Cornhuskers followed this up by immediately giving all of their momentum back to the Buckeyes with this failed attempt at a kickoff....
Police: Half-Nude Cornell Runner Took Acid, Attacked Women And Threatened To Rape Them
As first reported by the Cornell Daily Sun, Cornell freshman runner Saano Murembya was arrested on Sunday afternoon by the school’s police department after taking LSD and threatening to rape several students. Murembya was charged with two felony counts of attempted sexual abuse and two misdemeanor c...