bo Page 433 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....
America's Beautiful Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, Just Ran Through Real Madrid<em></em>
Borussia Dortmund, one of the world’s very best soccer teams, found themselves down against Real Madrid, the most famous sports team on the planet, in a Champions League match today. Looking to change the game, they turned to a goddamn American child, 18-year-old Christian Pulisic, to save the day. ...
Colts Radio Announcer Is Really Happy The Game Is "Finally Fucking Over"
The Colts won a nervous game against the Chargers yesterday, finally locking up the victory with a fumble recovery in the final minute. This was a great relief to longtime Colts radio announcer Bob Lamey:...
Chris Bosh's Heat Career Is Likely Over
A few days after Chris Bosh failed a physical because of ongoing complications with blood clotting, Miami Heat president Pat Riley told reporters that Bosh’s Heat career is likely over....
This Is A Brilliant Way To Exploit The Rulebook
It’s well-known that a kickoff out of bounds is a penalty, with the ball placed on the 40-yard line. It’s less well-known that the ball is out of bounds if it’s touched by any player who’s out of bounds, even if the ball itself is a couple of yards from the sideline. Ty Montgomery knew it....
The Sidelines Aren't Safe
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Dustin Pedroia Scores Winning Run By Dancing Around Rays Catcher
Dustin Pedroia scored an incredibly wacky run today, jumping around Rays catcher Luke Maile and eventually putting his nuts in Maile’s face to give the Red Sox their 11th straight win....
Fight Breaks Out At Senators Practice After Patrick Sieloff Hits Clarke MacArthur
Bobby Ryan fought teammate Patrick Sieloff at today’s Ottawa Senators scrimmage after Sieloff laid a hit on winger Clarke MacArthur....
Kevin Garnett Retires, Makes The NBA A Little More Sane And A Lot Less Fun
Kevin Garnett’s 21-year NBA has come to an end. The 40-year-old power forward, who spent last season playing sparingly for the Minnesota Timberwolves, announced his retirement on his Instagram page....
Reports: Chris Bosh Fails Physical Due To Complications From Blood Clotting
According to various local reports, Chris Bosh failed a pre-training camp physical after instances of clotting were discovered in his blood work. Per the Miami Herald’s Barry Jackson, the clotting is “believed to be related to one of two previous blood clot episodes” that forced Bosh to stop playing...
What Do You Get For The Baseball Player Who Has Everything? A Busted Up Phone Box
Let’s go back to 2013. David Ortiz was putting together an all-star season at 37 years old, but on one July night in Baltimore, he was melting down. After arguing with umpire Tim Timmons’ strike zone, Papi got ejected. So he went back into the Red Sox dugout and destroyed the in-dugout phone....
The Ongoing NFL Conspiracy You Don’t Know About<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
MacArthur Genius Grants: Not Worth It
Before you ask, the answer is no—I have never won a MacArthur Genius Grant. Nor did I win this year. And thank god for that....
Here's A Truly Bonkers One-Handed Catch
Look at this catch, man. ...
Chris Bosh Has Escalated His PR Battle With The Miami Heat
The Miami Heat begin training camp in six days. It’s unclear, exactly, if Chris Bosh will be there, or if he is, to what extent he will be participating. Bosh, who believes he is healthy enough to play, has been applying pressure to the Heat this offseason, and he is now pressing even harder as the ...