bo Page 510 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Glorious Goober Will Blow Your Mind With His Sick Archery Skills
This video is nearly six minutes long. I understand that asking you, dear reader, to watch a six-minute video of some dude doing archery tricks in his garage and the woods by his house is a tall order, but you need to do this. You need to watch Lars Andersen, master of ancient and long-forgotten bow...
Celtics Beat Trail Blazers On Sloppiest Game-Winner Of The Year
Down two to the Trail Blazers with under 10 seconds remaining, the Celtics were relying upon Jared Sullinger to get them a crucial basket. That should tell you all you need to know about how good they are, that Brad Stevens looked up and down his bench for his best option and settled upon Sullinger....
Time For Your Worst-Ever Poop Stories
Oh God, the Super Bowl bye week. I feel as if all the blood has been drained from my body. No playoff games. No picked up flags. No de-juiced balls. No endless replays. I barely know what to do with myself, apart from avoiding the Pro Bowl....
UNM Basketball Player Credits Twitter Dipshit For His Big Game
New Mexico guard Hugh Greenwood had 22 points and eight rebounds in Wednesday night's 71-69 win over UNLV. After the game, the senior said a tweet about his mother—who has secondary breast cancer—was part of the drive behind his performance....
The NFL Should Just Leave Marshawn Lynch The Hell Alone
According to ESPN's Adam Schefter, the NFL is preparing to become much more aggressive in its battle against Marshawn Lynch and his continued refusal to give a fuck....
Boston Bars City Employees From Criticizing The Olympics
Nobody who lives in Boston actually wants the city to win its bid for the 2024 Olympic games. And yet, in a joinder agreement between the city and the United States Olympic Committee, mayor Marty Walsh has signed a contract that forbids city employees from speaking negatively about the big, the IOC,...
Round 2 Of The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Starts NOW! Vote!
Cheese & Crackers very nearly pulled off a huge upset. The 8-seed, matched up against football snack staple Nacho Cheese Doritos, was almost left off the bracket entirely because your bracketeer thought it perhaps a touch too bougie for this exercise. Which is insane, when you consider that the sa...
A-Rod Turns To Unlikely Source To Assist His Comeback: Barry Bonds
At 39 and having missed the entire 2014 season due to suspension, Alex Rodriguez is attempting an improbable comeback. His skills were already rapidly declining in 2013—in 44 games he posted his lowest batting average and slugging percentage since 1995, and his fielding has been getting worse for ...
The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Start Now. VOTE!
The Super Bowl is a grand time for food. All those New Year's Resolutions about eating right, getting fit, and drinking less go out the window just in time for nimble fingers to set to work crafting the perfect snack stadium or dialing Dominos....
Andy Dalton, Seventh Alternate QB, Will Play In The Dumb Pro Bowl
When the NFL totaled up the votes and named six QBs to the Pro Bowl, it also drew up a list of alternates for when players inevitably bailed due to injury or just having better things to do. That list of alternates goes down a long way. Andy Dalton, basically the King Ralph of quarterbacks, is a Pro...
Woman Goes Bonkers At Opportunity To Buy Patriots "AFC Champion" Shirt
If you're like me, you assumed those "conference champion" shirts and hats exist for players and coaches to wear in the moments after cashing their ticket to the Super Bowl. It turns out people actually buy these things, and one woman is really, really excited that her local Modell's is stocking P...
Brandon Bostick Wasn't Supposed To Try To Catch That Onside Kick
On the other side of the Seahawks’ disbelieving delirium is, necessarily, a whole lot of Packers feeling individually shitty about something they did, or failed to do, any one of which might have been enough to ice this game for good. Settling for a pair of field goals from the 1-yard line comes to ...
Lance Stephenson's Unimpressed With His Bobblehead
The Hornets made a bobblehead for Lance Stephenson, but Stephenson wasn't wowed by the result. If you're not convinced by the real Stephenson's face, his Instagram caption makes it clear: "This bubblehead do not look like me." He's right....
Jim Gray Learns Not To Assume Guy Named "Maldonado" Can't Speak English
Tonight's SHObox undercard featured Amir Imam claiming a TKO win over Fidel Maldonado Jr. in a 140-pound bout. Afterward, ubiquitous microphone toady Jim Gray went to interview the losing fighter, a lifelong Albuquerque resident. Except he extended the mic to Maldonado's trainer, assuming the youn...
Why Tonight's Heavyweight Title Fight Shouldn't Be On The Level
While professional boxing unquestionably often involves two fighters hitting each other as hard as possible in order to win their match, it also often puts business first. It looks as if a lot of X's and O's are being moved around in two upcoming heavyweight title bouts, presumably as long-range s...
Funkmaster Flex Ethers Jay Z In Epic, Endless, Bomb-Laden Rant
DJ Funkmaster Flex—one of NYC's premier hip-hop DJs, putting in work at radio-station oracle HOT 97 for more than 20 years now—was in inspired, incessantly bomb-dropping form last night, unloading a rambling, 10-minutes-plus diatribe against everyone and everything surrounding Jay Z....
The Night A Heartbroken George Foreman Boxed Five Men In One Hour
So I was clicking my way through the internet on this beautiful Friday afternoon, as I'm wont to do, and I happened upon this piece, inside of which was this passage:...
Fox Business Delivers Stupidest Super Bowl Report Possible
Fox Business Network attempted to report on Super Bowl ticket sales today with threats that "the NFL is expecting record-low attendance." That's not true, but somehow what reporter Elizabeth MacDonald went on to say got even stupider....
Kitten Bowl Player Names, Ranked
Cat puns are the highest form of humor. Now that Hallmark Channel has unveiled the roster for this year's Kitten Bowl, it's time to subjectively and correctly rank the competitors' names....