bo Page 845 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Any Teams Named Yankees Or Red Sox Must Fight To The Death
Did you know that any team nicknamed the "Yankees" must, by law, engage in one beanball war and/or bat-swinging brawl each season with another team named the "Red Sox"? Even if that team is comprised of eight-year olds....

Big Ben Hurt; You May Commence Panicking
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Aural Secs: Bolt's 19.19 Explained With Music
How fast is 19.19? Gawker's Mike Byhoff used Sonic Youth to illustrate the latest record-shattering majesty of Usain Bolt's 200-meter gallop....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "On Rocky Top"
The mighty Clay Travis returns to the Muertospin to show off the Big Orange fruits of his labor. Read the excerpt, then buy "On Rocky Top", then chat with him down below....

Layla Kiffin's Job Is To Look Pretty And Keep Her Husband's Masculinity Intact
"He's got a really big heart. He's a great dad. And, he's got a really soft side to him. He cries in the girl movies." [Tennessean]...

Nationals Sign Strasburg At The Buzzer; Anti-Boras Demagoguing To Begin Shortly
The Nationals locked up the best pitching prospect ever with 77 seconds to spare, and Scott Boras once again nudged the whole draft right up to the point of going tilt....

Tim Tebow And His Even Dirtier GQ Pictures
The Sideline Princess shoot was fine, but those aren’t even the naughtiest pictures of a Florida alum in GQ this month. The lurid full-page centerfold of a sweaty, shirtless Tim Tebow is positively filthy....and comes with drooling prose to match....

Aural Secs: Bolt's 9.58 Explained With Music
How fast is 9.58 seconds? Watch this video. I think you'll understand....

Why Your Team Sucks: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Gina Carano Gets Pummeled By Cyborg Woman
The most popular woman in MMA received an efficient ass-kicking last evening, which, some say, is the worst thing that could happen to female mixed martial arts. You know what lady MMA needs? Kimbo. [WatchKalibRun]...

Rodney King — Yes, That One — To Fight A Cop
King, perhaps having gained experience from his unsanctioned LAPD-rules handicap match, will be joining the celebrity boxing circuit with a bout against a former police officer. This will be handled with the utmost class, I'm sure....

Gaming Wars Rage On, With Dueling NCAA Theft Convictions
Some athletes like the multiplayer options and upgrades that come with PC gaming. Others prefer the simplicity and cost of console gaming. But they can all agree: stealing gaming platforms from fellow students is the way to go....

Calipari: Be Nice to Pitino!
Sporting News Today reports (without any direct quotations) that John Calipari wants Kentucky basketball fans to refrain from picking on Rick Pitino when Louisville visits Rupp Arena....

BoSox Cap Can't Cover Fan's Shame, Penis
Anyone know what Kevin Youkilis did after being ejected the other night? Because a Massachusetts man was arrested for taking a walk wearing sneakers, a Red Sox cap...and nothing else....

An Assist For Nick Van Exel: How An NBA Scorekeeper Cooked The Books
In January 1997, the Lakers' Nick Van Exel handed out 23 assists in a 95-82 victory over Vancouver, a feat less attributable to his sharpshooting teammates than to the numbers-fudging Lakers fan working the Grizzlies' scorer's table....

And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...

Our Man In Boy Clothes Is Not Feeling Generous Today
Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's cock is to comedy. It is an occupational totem, around which colleagues spin fantastical-seeming yarns that just so happen to be true. Here are a few such tales....

What To Expect From "Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals"
The Cincinnati Bengals are not quite the trainwreck they once were, but everyone is still hoping for some kind of entertainment value out of this year's edition of HBO's "Hard Knocks" docudrama. Don't get your hopes up....

Rick Pitino, Health Care Reformer
The coach's attorney says the $3,000 given to Karen Cunagin Sypher was not for an abortion but to help her buy medical insurance, furnishing America with yet another argument in favor of a single-payer model. [ESPN]...

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Football Fan's Manifesto"
Today's a glorious day. Michael Tunison aka Kwanzaa Primate's utterly fantastic book has arrived and he's graciously given us an excerpt. Plus! He's here to live chat with you. Buy it then pepper him with inane questions....