bo Page 851 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Chosen One Chooses Junior College
Chosen Person Bryce Harper, a rising high school junior, has elected to skip his last two years of high school, get his GED and matriculate at the College of Southern Nevada. Cue the Doogie Howser song....

Simona Halep's Spanish Fans Form Facebook Group To Save Her "Pupus"
I have no idea what "pupus" are, but something tells me it has nothing to do with her ground stroke. [Facebook via Salir a Ganar/PHOTO: Tennisrulz/StephaneMartinache]...

Shin-Soo Choo Is Korean For "Don Johnson"
Tonight the Indians are giving away an undisclosed number of Shin-Soo Choo '80s-style bobbleheads. You know, back when South Korea was a great place to live. [Slanch Report]...

Awesome Boyfriend Ties Kids Up In Garage So He Can Enjoy The Game In Peace
Dilemma: You want to see the big game, but your girlfriend wants you to babysit. You could listen to the game on radio—or you could tie the kids up, leave them in the garage, and hit the bar....

Usain Bolt Shows Off His Most Treasured Keepsake From Beijing
The world's fastest man arrived in Canada wearing a T-shirt with ancient Chinese letters spelling out a thoroughly modern message. I don't think they draped that around his neck on the Olympic podium. [Fotoglif via Splash News]...

No One Is Reading The A-Rod Book
This is just cold: "As of Wednesday afternoon, the book ranked No. 2,904 on Amazon.com, where even James Frey's discredited memoir A Million Little Pieces- at 1,776 - is outselling it." Another "W" for Howard Rubenstein! [USA Today]...

Free Fenway Tickets To The Person Who Loves America The Most
Do you want presumably good seats to a Red Sox game at Fenway? All you have to do is convince the son of a failed presidential candidate that you hate socialism—and maybe make a small donation!...

Bob Huggins Now Sporting Non-Metaphorical Black Eyes
Huggins, the bail bondsman who coaches college basketball games in his spare time, showed up to a fundraiser wearing shiners on either eye. The explanation? He lost a fight with his bathroom door. It happens....

Reebok Gives Shoe Contracts First, Asks Questions Later
Reebok belatedly discovers that they gave a shoe contract to a white guy with an "Air Jordan" tattoo on his leg. To be fair, it was Marcin Gortat, and no one wanted to look that closely. [Skeets]...

Today Everyone Is Finally Convinced Kobe Bryant Is One Of The NBA's Greatest Despite His Shaq-Filled, Jizz Bomb Past
The Lakers still need two more games to close out the Magic, but those people who never doubted Kobe's true greatness for most of his career are filing early to get a leg up on those who did....

Owen Daniels Uses Facebook To Negotiate New Contract With Texans
Owen Daniels, Houston Texans tight end and perennial fantasy sleeper, has taken his dissatisfaction with his current contract public to both friends and strangers across America on his Facebook page....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>Strokes of Genius</em>
Sports Illustrated's Jon Wertheim uses the 2008 Wimbledon final to reflect on Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and their rivalry, begetting "the greatest tennis match every played," the 2008 Wimbledon Final. Buy it here, if you're feeling frisky....

George Foreman III Wins First Professional "Fight"
One of George Foreman's eponymous sons began his illustrious boxing career with a time-honored tradition—beating up on a human tomato can. Everyone involved in the making of this post should be ashamed of themselves. (I know I am.)...

New Miracle Bat Probably Illegal In This Solar System
Reebok's new Vector-O baseball bat uses special alloys (adamantium?) and speed holes to help you make the cover of Sports Illustrated for your Hulk-like home run blasts. Also doubles as a harmonica. [Uncrate]...

Careful, Jazz Players. Jerry Sloan Is Monitoring Your Facebook Status Updates.
Grumpy old man Jerry Sloan and the Jazz brass are reportedly unhappy with little-used backup Kyrylo Fesenko, which isn't terribly surprising given that Jerry Sloan hasn't been happy since the Eisenhower Administration. What's surprising is the reason: Facebook status updates....

Your Occasional Update On Witchcraft Tomfoolery In The AL East
A Boston-based Yankees fan litters grass from Yankee Stadium in Fenway Park to jinx the Sox, and the construction worker who planted a Boston jersey in the Bronx claims his hex is working. In his magical kingdom, maybe. [NY Post]...

Barry Bonds Is Available, Ladies
Barry Bonds' year-and-a-half long exile from baseball has given him the opportunity to spend a lot of time with his family—which might explain why his wife filed for divorce yesterday. [SF Chronicle]...

Ninjas Responsible For The Death Of David Carradine?
So says Carradine's attorney, Mark Geragos, who told the NY Post there might be some foul play involved. Geragos was contacted by other media outlets about his ninja theory, but he was immediately banned from commenting any further...[DListed]...

Why Scott Boras Isn't As Evil As You Think He Is
Tomorrow, Scott Boras begins the process of jimmying a record bonus out of the Nationals on behalf of Stephen Strasburg. Let's dispense with the usual frog-raining about baseball's superagent and see him for what he is: Scott Boras, labor revolutionary....

Jamal Anderson Talks About His Bathroom Cocaine Arrest, Gets Self-Helpy
"What are you going to do? Are you going to ball up and go into a corner? Or are you going to make the best of that after the fact?" Month Of Fury! [SRI]...