bo Page 853 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Whoops, Sports Aren't So Recession-Proof After All
Turns out, it's proving difficult for the next Theo Epsteins and Jerry Maguires to catapult from frat parties to their dream jobs, so they're stuck cleaning minor league stadiums and taking unpaid internships at women's tennis tournaments. Tell me about it. I would write more, but Daulerio needs lun...

A Game Of “Healthy Fat Or Unhealthy Fat” With Martellus Bennett
Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend....

Tim Tebow Turns Away Hotter Stuff Than You Can Dream Of
Percy Harvin, presented without comment: "If I could trade places for a day with anyone: Tim Tebow....We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, "Tebow, I want you." And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, "Man, you are crazy." [Pioneer Press]...

Anquan Boldin To Drew Rosenhaus: You Have Failed Me, Now Go
Boldin fires Rosenhaus; Rosenhaus makes lemonade: "I'm hopeful we can work this out and he can return to the Rosenhaus Sports family in the near future. We are proud to continue to represent his brother, D.J. Boldin."[ESPN]...

A Stroll Through The Infield At Indy
In Detroit, I lost a rental car for six hours. In Miami, I left all of my clothes in the hotel dresser. Since I was bringing a "photographer" to the Indy 500, there would be little chance of me leaving something behind. Unfortunately, he lost his camera....

The Nationals Are A Memorial To Failure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

"No Clowns Allowed Beyond This Point"
The new Yankee Stadium security measures are terribly draconian — unless, of course, you're Chris Berman, the newly appointed ringleader of the circus....

Many Trees Died In The Making Of Simmons' Next Tome
Have you ever thought, Man, I really want to read a 720-page hardcover about basketball by the Sports Fella? Then today — or October 27, 2009 — is your lucky day. [Leitch]...

Monday's Lax Final Set, No One Outside Upstate New York Notices
Syracuse slams Duke in the Greg Paulus Bowl, Cornell shocks — shocks! — No. 1 Virginia in the nightcap. There really is nothing going on today. Softball on ESPN, lacrosse on ESPN2, Bernie Williams playing jazz on YES. Plus, Daulerio's making a packing list and checking it twice. [ESPN]...

Wanted: Poise, Splits, Knowledge Of Middle East Geography
To be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, you need exquisite dance technique, plenty of enthusiasm and poise, a vibrant personality and the ability to do high kicks and splits. Also, you should "look well-proportioned in dancewear." And you have to identify a country on Iraq's borders....

Yep, That SUV Inching Down Your Street Is A Zamboni
Auto companies are failing, but don't you worry: The primary Zamboni manufacturer won't be filing for a government bailout anytime soon. Also, The Zambonis, North America's favorite all-hockey band, are coming to a town near you. Zamboni. That's a funny word. [NYT]...

Fake Ben Roethlisberger Has Internet Cancer
Terrible news, everybody. The cyber weirdo who is trolling the internet pretending to be Ben Roethlisberger has imaginary cancer. There's a PayPal link below where you can help send him an virtual bouquet of AOL sign-up CDs....

Holy Crap, David Ortiz Hit A Home Run
Light-hitting Boston infielder becomes the 320th major league player to hit a home run this season. It's okay to believe in America again, people. [Boston Herald]...

The Sordid Life Of Clippers Owner Donald Sterling
Just in time for the lottery, ESPN The Magazine has a look-see at the walking abomination known as Donald Sterling, Clippers owner and a man of discerning taste. Dislikes: blacks, Mexicans, children. Likes: Koreans, blowjobs....

Hell No, We Don't Want Bobby V. To Go!
Rally the troops! Chiba Lotte fans are protesting to retain manager Bobby Valentine, hanging this banner: "We would rather fight with Bobby, who says we're the world's best fans, than with a front office who calls us worthless." For you non-Japanese speakers, that roughly translates to Backwards K. ...

The Nationals Are Content With Losing As Many Games As Possible This Season, Thank You
Stephen Strasburg, this year's can't-miss baseball prospect, has started 13 games at San Diego State and he's won 12 of them....

"The Scott Walker Story" May Need A Different Ending
After he cold-cocked Aaron Ward and scored the series-winning overtime goal against them, Bruins fans probably wished the Hurricanes' Scott Walker would get cancer. Unfortunately for everyone, his wife beat him to it....

Bodybuilders Flee Event When Drug Testers Show Up
The Belgian bodybuilding championships were canceled this weekend after every single competitor suddenly had to be somewhere else and dropped out. I'm sure the unannounced arrival of the doping officials was just a coincidence....

James Harrison Snubs Obama, America
The Steelers' Silverback linebacker has caused many sports fans and journalists to gasp and mutter "you dumb bastard" under their breath after he scoffed at the White House invite....

Fat Old Lakers Fan Wearing Sunglasses Rejoices
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...