bo Page 892 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hand Me The Pissing Wedge
Urologist Floyd Seskin developed the UroClub (as opposed to the Spaniard-bashing stick I invented, the EuroClub) for golfers who would like to relieve themselves without the long trip back to the clubhouse. It's made to look like a 7-iron and make you look like a tool. And it's yours for the low, l...
Making Teenage Faces
Colts Cheerleaders get their hair did. [Don Chavez]...
Hold Me Closer, Dancing Gino. Gino? Gino!
The Wall Street Journal (via Boston Daily) yesterday had a story about trying to track down Gino, a dancing Lothario from American Bandstand, who the Celtics flash in a clip on the JumboTron when victory seems imminent. The Celtics were even interested in doing a documentary on him. Well, they still...
Kwame Kilpatrick Will Never Send You Naughty Text Messages After This
Beleaguered Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was not received warmly at the Red Wings victory extravaganza yesterday. Maybe it has something to do with the sundry scandals and the vetoing of the funds set aside to remove him from office. The booing doesn't even fade after the proffering of free beer. ...
About Last Night...
What you missed while amassing your army of humanzees in anticipation of the Deadspin power vacuum......
Kimbo Slice's American Dream Will Live To Fight Another Day
As confirmed on Dan LeBatard's radio show yesterday, Kimbo's next opponent in Elite XC is against the Fishbone-esque mohawked madman Brett "The Grim" Rogers. Slice and Rogers got into a little spat after Kimbo's controversial victory, with Rogers shouting at the bearded man-beast and calling his vic...
Evander Holyfield Would Appreciate It If You'd Pick Up The Check
So Evander Holyfield is broke. His $10 million house (featuring 17 bathrooms and a bowling alley) is in foreclosure, he's behind in child support payments, and things are generally looking bleak. And people, it's your fault. You just aren't buying enough Real Deal Grills! Why not? Dual temperature c...
Just Another Quiet Day In The AL East
His real name is Covelli Loyce Crisp, but you knew that. What you may not have known, is that Coco Crisp's father was a boxer, and his mother was a champion sprinter. So the Red Sox outfielder's actions on Thursday — charging the mound and throwing haymakers after getting plunked by the Rays' James...
We'd Say These NBA Finals Are A Bit More Entertaining Than Last Year's
We didn't get to make a pre-series prediction yesterday because we were being all wussy misty-eyed, but we would have gone with Lakers in five. Oops....
An Inconvenient Truth ... For The Lakers
My name is Matt McHale and Paul Pierce is the motherf—-ing truth. Quote me on that and don't take nothing out. Oh, and please visit Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
What you missed while using your binoculars to watch a bearded tit ... • NBA: Wheelchair basketball ... Pierce shakes off knee injury, leads Celtics over Lakers in Game 1. • MLB: Cole Hamels > Ken Griffey Jr. Phillies 5, Reds 0. • MLB: Please don't televise the draft again. Thanks....
Paul Pierce One-Leggedly Asserts Himself In Game One
As Paul Pierce lay underneath the basket, writhing in pain, a trainer ominously hovering, it appeared a Boston victory in this game, this series, was highly unlikely. Pierce gets carried off the court, still grimacing and immobile, in a manner that would suggest he'd either been stung by a Man O'War...
NBA Finals Game 1: A Preview
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components - coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle - to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA Finals (yes, Finals) game....
Singing The Praises Of The Lakers-Celtics Rivalry
Believe it or not, there was a time when the biggest problem that Isiah Thomas had was random Boston Celtics attempting to place shoes on his head. The year was 1987, and that's not just any Celtic, actually; it's the great Kevin McHale. The last year that Boston has been in the NBA Finals also happ...
Chuck Klosterman Revisits The Lakers-Celtics Rivalry
Readers of Chuck Klosterman's "Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs" will remember the particularly amusing essay about the Lakers-Celtics rivalry of the '80s. To quote:...
About Last Night
What you missed while trashing your workplace because they took your red stapler ... • NHL: Heart like a wheel ... Wings win Stanley Cup! For Christ's sake, don't drop it! • MLB: Paul Konerko ends our suffering, White Sox beat Royals in 15. • NBA: Suns down to four coaching candidates. Hey, where's ...
Lakers Versus Celtics Part XI: New Blood
The season series: The Celtics (66-16) enjoyed a 2-0 season sweep of the Lakers (57-25). On November 23, they won 107-94 in L.A. On December 10, they won 110-91 in Boston....
Cauliflower Ears Get Mainstream Recognition Thanks To Kimbo
One of the more disturbing and enjoyably gross aspects of Saturday night's EliteXC prime time bloodfest was the inevitable popping of James "Colossus" Thompson's swelled cauliflower ear by the mighty right of Kimbo Slice. As Kimbo's fist kept wailing and wailing on the purple upper region of Thompso...
So, Is There Really Any Chance The Red Sox Would Take A Chance On Bonds?
So, David Ortiz could be out for a while. Would the Red Sox dare ... could they ... oh heavens ... they have to consider it, don't they ... could they be considering Barry Bonds? The Red Sox, even though Bonds has called the city racist, seem to be keeping it in mind....
About Last Night
What you missed when the police took the plasma TV from your prison cell ... • MLB: The Radhames Liz Era has begun. Orioles 5, Twins 3. • NHL: Red Wings' explanation for Game 5 loss to Penguins: It was the refs' fault, of course. • Womens softball: How could you pitch to Kaitlin Cochran? Fools! Ariz...