bo Page 908 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

One Last Reading, Just Down The Street
We've had a few people ask about the second leg of the book tour. It's basically going to take place this summer, and it will involve baseball games. So, look out, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Atlanta, Minneapolis, Houston, so on: Any time we can get to a game, it will have a reading bundled with it. But t...

Tampa Bay Manager Knows Not Of This Barry Bonds You Speak
Your dream of seeing Barry Bonds play in a lopsided pirate ship has been dashed once again. Despite rumors to the contrary, Tampa Bay Devil Rays executive vice president Andrew Friedman said that the team is not pursuing him. Said manager Joe Maddon: "It was a minor discussion, it was thrown out the...

College Coaches Are Straight Pimpin'
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....

About Last Night
What you missed while watching the funniest thing that Jimmy Kimmel has ever done ... • NHL: Fearless Forsberg returns to Avalanche, and all it took was $5 mil. Yay! • College basketball: Texas cannot be stopped, by anyone, ever. (May not apply to postseason play). • NFL: Michael Strahan considers r...

All Readings Should End With Tassels
All right, we're gonna head over to that reading thing now; to remind, it's right here. Because it's only 15 minutes or so from now, we're even gonna let ya know where the after-shindig is....

When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni
No, don't worry: A Pittsburgh Penguin did not get crushed on the ice. It's just what happens when a Zamboni's transmission fails, as reported by reader War Penguin, who was on the scene in Pittsburgh in its game against the San Jose Sharks. More action photos after the jump....

Barry Bonds May Be Leaving Our Shores
According to Babel Fish, this is the Japanese word for steroids: ステロイド. Wouldn't it be somewhat hilarious if some jokester printed that on Barry Bonds' jersey this year? Because that's where Bonds is likely headed, according to his agent. Jeff Boras, who has been shopping around his client in spring...

Our Final Two Readings, NYC-Style
After the madness of the last month of our life, the first leg of the God Save The Fan tour ends over the next two nights in beautiful New York City, home of the bastard liberal media and hot dogs made of pig snout. It's Manhattan tonight, and Brooklyn tomorrow, and then we're gonna take a freaking ...

About Last Night
What you missed while listing all the stuff that white people like ... • NBA: New Kids On The Block ... who are those guys? Cleveland 109, Memphis 89. • College basketball: On Wisconsin ... Badgers relax atop Big Ten standings. • NFL: The Vikings can get into trouble on dry land too....

About Last Night
What you missed while wondering when SNL's Obama character is going to be funny... • Boxing: Klitschko made Ibragimov his jab eating bitch for 12 rounds. It could have been a bit more entertaining. • NBA: Apparently the Lakers are the best team in Los Angeles. Stupid Clippers. • CBB: Tennessee is th...

Klitschko Wins An Easy Decision Over Ibragimov
It wasn't an exciting fight and it certainly won't propel him into the big money, but Wladimir Klitschko won a unanimous decision over Sultan Ibragimov. I had the fight scored as a 12 round shutout, but the judges were a bit more kind to the Russian....

Wladimir's Morning Wood
Tonight Wladimir Klitschko will square off against his best opponent to date in Sultan Ibragimov in a big first step toward unifying the heavyweight title. Vitali's little brother is widely considered to be the best heavyweight on the planet and a win tonight at Madison Square Garden would cement th...

About Last Night
What you missed while serving as a seat filler on Cleveland's bench... ...

Justice Is Blind, Which Accounts For All The Typos
Finally, Barry Bonds has discovered an airtight defense for his upcoming trial on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. Typos! Yep, Bonds' lawyers on Thursday contended that, because the government filed court papers on their client that had at least two typos, that Barry should walk free. Hey...

About Last Night
What you missed while reading the top 50 children's books of all time ... • College basketball: Volunteers vs. Tigers ... the state of Tennessee can no longer contain the hype, must outsource some to India. • NFL: The end of the Randy Moss Era in New England may be nigh. • NHL: News for the herring ...

The Last Stop Of The Tour's First Leg
Over the last month, we've been home for about 36 hours. We've hit Tempe, Los Angeles, Alameda, Seattle, Oak Brook, Champaign, St. Peters, Mattoon, Boston and Philadelphia. Tonight, in the Georgetown area of Washington, D.C., we make our last stop before returning to New York for two readings next w...

There's Room In Baseball For Barry Bonds And Juan Gonzalez. Obviously.
So here's a question that we don't feel uncomfortable asking: In the wake of Roger Clemens becoming the official new poster boy for anal leakage, should someone be signing Barry Bonds?...

Tony Romo And Jessica Simpson Preparing For Wedded Bliss
Sure Jessica Simpson may have been a distraction to the Cowboys this past season; the only thing standing between the franchise and a Super Bowl championship (tries to suppress gales of laughter). So to ensure a healthy and successful 2008 season, Tony Romo should dump her, right? Well here's a solu...

ESPN Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

About Last Night
What you missed while drinking wine on the honor system ... • NBA: Baron Davis drinks your milkshake ... Warriors 119, Celtics 117. • Golf: Tiger Woods is a remorseless killing machine. • NFL: Colts give Dallas Clark 6-year contract; he drops it....