br Page 407 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reports: Golf Beefs!
It’s been two days since the Americans got their asses handed to them at the Ryder Cup, and you know what that means: It’s time to read the papers and soak up some golf drama....
Improvised Lefty Pass Highlights Another Heroic Performance From The Unreal Patrick Mahomes
Monday night’s Chiefs-Broncos game was very, very fun, featuring more superhuman play from the impossibly good Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes completed 13 of 16 passes in the fourth quarter and engineered two long touchdown drives to bring the Chiefs back from a 23–13 deficit and into the lead. He complet...
Report: Crowdfunding Drives For College Football Player In Critical Condition Shut Down Over Fear Of NCAA Violations
Tennessee State sophomore Christion Abercrombie suffered a devastating head injury in the first half of his team’s loss to Vanderbilt Saturday. According to Tennessee State head coach Rod Reed, Abercrombie suffered the injury while “taking on a block” during an otherwise typical football play, and c...
Report: Former NBA Try-Hard Chris Dudley Once Allegedly Smashed A Pint Glass On Someone's Head While Defending Brett Kavanaugh
Hopeless free-throw shooter and failed gubernatorial candidate Chris Dudley was pals and drinking buddies with Brett Kavanaugh when the two attended Yale together from 1983 to 1987. Where young Brett tried and failed to make the men’s basketball team, Dudley was the team’s star center and went on to...
Orlando Arcia Came Out Of Nowhere To Help The Brewers Win The NL Central
Of all the regular players on the Milwaukee Brewers, shortstop Orlando Arcia is almost undeniably the worst. With an on-base percentage of .260, a weakling slugging percentage of .299, and multiple demotions to the minors in 2018, it’s honestly a wonder that this guy even managed to get the start in...
<i>NBA 2K19</i>'s Brand Humping Is Craven, Shameless, And Straight-Up Evil
If you have read anything about the NBA 2K series in the past couple years, then you know that its centerpiece “MyCareer” mode, in which you guide a custom-created fledgling NBA player to stardom, is a hyper-branded, microtransaction-choked nightmare all but explicitly designed to pressure human pla...
LeBron, In A Lakers Uniform, Doing LeBron Stuff
The Los Angeles Lakers opened their preseason last night in San Diego. Who cares! I don’t care. The NBA should shut up for at least another couple weeks. Did they win? Who were their opponents? Who led them in scoring? Don’t care!...
Bullshit Overturned First Down Helps Raiders Beat Browns In Overtime
The Browns had everything they needed to beat the Raiders 42-34 in Oakland today, but a bizarre and inexplicable decision by the referees to overturn a late Carlos Hyde first-down run gave the Raiders the opportunity to make a dramatic comeback and win in overtime....
Nobody Could Break The Division Ties On MLB's Final Day<em></em>
All four NL teams who needed to win won on the final day of the MLB season, as the Dodgers, Rockies, Cubs, and Brewers all kept their hopes of a division title alive. Their victories set up what will be a wild prelude to the NLDS, with only the Atlanta Braves assured of their spot so far....
Predators' Ryan Johansen Skates Off Ice After Walk-Off Goal
After seven seasons in the NHL, Predators center Ryan Johansen surely knows that the importance of the preseason pales in comparison to that of the regular season. It might be useful for the rookies, and other young guys, to develop their skills and mentally adjust to top-level game speeds, but it w...
Tyler Eifert Scored A Touchdown And Chugged A Beer
The Falcons’ secondary is porous, but scoring a TD on any team is a perfectly fine occasion to crack open a beer. The Bengals’ Tyler Eifert obviously didn’t have a cold one near the end zone, but that didn’t stop him from improvising with the football to pay tribute to Stone Cold Steve Austin with h...
What The Hell Is This ESPN Johnny Manziel Segment?
ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown show is three hours long every week, and there’s only so many times Matt Hasselbeck can say something like, “The Chicago Bears defense just wants to win this week, and you need a defense that wants to win in order to succeed in the National Football League.” So it’s no su...
Sam Bradford Lost More Than $300,000 Today
Sam Bradford started for the Arizona Cardinals last week. The quarterback, who signed a contract worth at least $15 million in the offseason, started three games before being benched for Josh Rosen in the fourth quarter of the Cardinals’ 16-14 loss to the Bears last Sunday....
Clemson Quarterback Trevor Lawrence Leaves Game After Hit To The Head
In the second quarter of his first start of the season, freshman quarterback Trevor Lawrence left Saturday’s game against Syracuse after taking a shoulder to the head while scrambling for some yardage....
How Patrick Chung's Concussion Fell Through The Cracks
The NFL and the NFLPA on Thursday concluded their joint investigation of Patriots safety Patrick Chung’s concussion. The inquiry found that there were no protocol violations even though Chung was initially not tested for a brain injury after being sent off the field by a game official. This appears ...
Shaq's Large Teenage Son Will Miss Freshman Year At UCLA Due To Heart Surgery
Well, here’s some rotten news: Shareef O’Neal, the hooping son of Shaquille O’Neal, will be forced to medical redshirt his freshman season at UCLA after doctors reportedly discovered a heart ailment during an otherwise routine checkup....
Accidents Happen, But Brie Bella's Just Keep Piling Up
The biggest wrestling story of the week happened by accident, during a six-woman tag team match on this week’s edition of WWE’s Monday Night Raw. The Bella Twins, who returned to in-ring action a few weeks back, were the main attraction in that match; Brie Bella, in what has become one of her signat...
Some Types Of Pain Are More Valuable Than Others
It’s both a truism and true that politics is about power, how it’s used and who it’s used against. But politics are also about the business of pain—about which individuals and which communities bear how much and at what cost, and so implicitly whose pain is worth more than others. Everyone lives in ...
Amazon's Thursday Night Football Language Options: English, Spanish, Women
It was announced this week that Hannah Storm and Andrea Kremer would become the first duo of women to call an NFL game during tonight’s Thursday Night Football game between the Vikings and the Rams. Joe Buck and Troy Aikman would work the television broadcast, and Storm and Kremer would work the Ama...
Tristan Thompson, Apparently Forgetting Everything That Happened This Summer, Talks Shit About East Contenders
LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers this summer. You may have heard. He is now a member of the Los Angeles Lakers. His minutes on the Cavaliers will be used by some combination of Cedi Osman, Rodney Hood, and I guess David Nwaba. Here is video evidence that Tristan Thompson somehow managed to ...