br Page 530 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
93-Year Old Brewers Fan Throws Out First Pitch
Better than 50 Cent!...
Column Calls For Return Of Racist Braves Mascot, Is Promptly Deleted
Bill Shanks’ column in the Macon Telegraph on why the Atlanta Braves should bring back their old mascot Chief Noc-A-Homa—a caricature of an Native American chief with a name that appears to be a baseball pun mashed together with what someone thought sounded like an “Indian name”—begins thusly:...
Is The Live Sports Rights Bubble Finally Bursting?
Over the past decade, television broadcasters have bet that DVR-proof live sports will remain highly profitable, and shelled out tens of billions of dollars to acquire broadcast rights to the NFL, NBA, MLB, Olympics, World Cup, college football and basketball, and all other sports imaginable. Fox, C...
<i>Space Jam</i> Was Bad, The LeBron Remake Could Be Worse
Love of Space Jam is the perfect case study in false memory—take a childhood novelty, give yourself a decade of distance, layer on some of the currently rampant ’90s nostalgia, and all of a sudden everyone you know swoons over something that was pretty bad. The sum total of praise Space Jam deserves...
Browns Draftee Celebrates By Jumping Fully Clothed Into His Pool
Arizona linebacker Scooby Wright got picked in the seventh round by the Browns, and he celebrated by, well, you’ll see....
The Boston Celtics Will Soon Be Terrifyingly Good
The Boston Celtics lost to the Atlanta Hawks 104-92 last night, knocking them out of the first round of the playoffs. It’s the last time for the foreseeable future that the Celtics will exit the playoffs so early. ...
A.J. Pierzynski Did Everything Wrong On This Pitch
A.J. Pierzynski definitely moved his body in a way that was indicative of effort after Jhoulys Chacin’s pitch went by him. But none of it worked....
Who Hugged Roger Goodell Longest At Last Night's NFL Draft?
Last night’s first round of the NFL draft featured many large men embracing an extremely rich one. As we do every year, we’ve measured each draftee’s hug time and measured it against his fellow rookies. The winner? New Falcons defensive back Keanu Neal, who got intimate with Roger Goodell for more t...
How To Dump Someone Tactfully, And Make A Clean Break
Breaking up with someone is one of life’s fondest moments, up there with clasping your sticky, newborn baby to your chest and hearing the first few notes of “Sorry” ring out across the dancefloor. Just kidding, obviously: dumping a person is rotten and no fun at all, which is often why it takes so l...
Man, Jared Goff Loves Brands
Jared Goff got picked first overall by the Los Angeles Rams, where he’ll have the exalted privilege of going 8-8 and handing it off to Todd Gurley a bunch. And he’ll be compensated handsomely for his services, now that he’s not a “student athlete” playing for the diarrheal California Golden Bears. A...
British Cycling Is A Huge Mess Right Now
Britain’s cycling renaissance has been one of the sport’s biggest success stories of the past decade. Since 2008, Mark Cavendish has won 26 stages at the Tour de France, British cyclists have won 16 gold Olympic medals (mostly on the track), and Bradley Wiggins and Chris Froome have won three Tours ...
These Are The Worst Celebrity Exercise Videos
We are truly blessed that there was a time period in which many famous celebrities cashed in with poorly executed workout videos. We are even more blessed that World Wide Interweb compiled the worst celebrity workout videos it could find....
Where Does Sam Bradford Go From Here?
Trade demands are all about leverage. Does the threat of a holdout or a season-long sulk session carry enough weight to force the Eagles to move Sam Bradford, even after they’ve paid him a significant signing bonus? Does it justify Philly perhaps accepting a smaller return, now that Bradford’s gone ...
Does An Intentional Walk Ruin A No-Hitter?
Okay, so before I get into the Funbag, some quick appearance news. I’m gonna be at this big Towson sports career speaker series on draft night. It’s at the Greene Turtle (CLASSY), and open to the public. Also, next month, I’m gonna read the first couple of chapters from The Hike over at the Howard C...
Holy Shit, Dan Boyle Really Hates Larry Brooks
A disappointing season for the old-ass Rangers, and the oldest (but only among the most disappointing) Ranger of all, defenseman Dan Boyle, took advantage of what is surely his last day with the team to call out a pair of reporters with whom he’s been beefing for a while now....
Fan-Shot Video From Game 4: Russell Westbrook Tells A Heckler To "Shut The Fuck Up"
On Saturday, Russell Westbrook cursed at a heckler. (More than one, it seems!) On Sunday, he was fined $25,000 for it. Last night, video of one incident emerged, and though I have absolutely no idea what was said to tick off Westbrook, it was entirely worth it just for the fan’s stunned, sulky react...
Kevin Durant And Russell Westbrook Torch Mark Cuban And Charlie Villanueva
There’s no trash talk quite like end-of-series trash talk. It’s easy to be magnanimous in victory, but it’s not nearly as much fun as pointing to the scoreboard as you lob a Molotov cocktail through the window on your way out of the building. After the Thunder finished off the Mavericks in five game...
Brandon Phillips Got Hit By Three Baseballs In One At-Bat
Tonight was not a good night for the Reds. They lost 5-3 to the Mets, and Brandon Phillips was a punching bag for the baseball throughout the course of his fourth-inning at-bat against Noah Syndergaard. ...
Russell Westbrook, Goddamn
The last thing Russell Westbrook needs is extra motivation, and yet—before his team sent the Dallas Mavericks out of the playoffs this evening with a 118-104 win—Mavericks owner Mark Cuban went and said that Russell Westbrook was not a superstar. So Westbrook immediately set to playing like a supers...
Donald Trump: "Leave Tom Brady Alone"
Your never-too-frequent reminder that Tom Brady considers Republican front-runner Donald Trump “a good friend of mine”...that Brady proudly displayed a Trump hat in his locker and said “that would be great” if Trump wins the presidency...that Brady does not like answering questions about his support...