br Page 583 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brian Matusz Receives 8-Game Suspension For "Foreign Substance"
Orioles pitcher Brian Matusz will be suspended eight games after pitching with a “foreign substance” on his arm during Baltimore’s game against the Marlins on Saturday. The MLB announced the suspension Monday, and Matusz is expected to appeal. ...
Brian Matusz Second Pitcher This Week Ejected For "Foreign Substance"
Brian Matusz became the second pitcher this week to be ejected after a strategic challenge by an opposing manager after the Marlins accused the Orioles hurler of possessing a “foreign substance.”...
Minor League Team Commits Three Errors On The Same Play
Minor league baseball is a cheap good time, as long as you don’t hold the players to too many expectations. Here’s Rockies AA affiliate New Britain committing three errors on the same play in the bottom of the fifth today at Harrisburg. Here’s how the official play by play recorded it:...
Bryan Price Ejected From Game Before It Even Starts
Reds manager Bryan “Stick It Right Up My Ass” Price got himself ejected from today’s game against the Indians before it even started by picking an argument with the umpiring staff....
Britos Bloodies Morata With Vicious Headbutt
Today’s Serie A match between Juventus and Napoli ended with a red card for Miguel Britos after the Uruguayan delivered his skull straight to Álvaro Morata’s nose. Morata ended up with a bloody face, but the 3-1 win after the referee awarded a penalty for the incident....
Tell Us Your Dumbest Food Mishaps
My brother once ate an entire wedge of brie thinking it was pie. The story goes like this:...
"Amazing Grace" Played By Airhorns Is Our New National Anthem, Breh
Please, a moment of extreme silence to honor America and our Lord, for here is “Amazing Grace” played by a choir of airhorns. Hats off, hands on your hearts. Please direct your local place of worship to add this to the docket this Sunday, as it is both religious and our new national anthem. I litera...
<i>Tomorrowland </i>Is Hopeful, Uplifting, And Absolutely Intolerable
1. Tomorrowland is a movie about optimism and hope and brightness and good cheer, which probably explains why it put me in such a foul mood. It’s like that television evangelist who’s so smiley and squeaky-clean that you just know he’s up to something weird when no one’s looking. This movie spends m...
Will Smith Ejected For "Foreign Substance"
Brewers pitcher Will Smith earned an ejection tonight from crew chief Jim Joyce after Braves skipper Fredi Gonzalez raised an objection over the existence of a foreign substance on Smith’s wrist....
It's Time To Bring Back The Six-Pack
One foolish afternoon a long, long time ago, Drunkspin risked a lifetime banishment from the good graces of the Craft Beer Movement by suggesting that even the very finest beers—the ones with corks and waiting lists and wicked kickass dragons and/or puns on the labels—contain alcohol, which has been...
DeMarre Carroll's Knee Is Going To Be Okay
When Hawks small forward DeMarre Carroll buckled his right knee last night and spent the next few minutes writhing on the floor in agony, it sure as hell looked like the Hawks had just lost their best perimeter defender to a catastrophic knee injury. But today brings good news!...
Darrelle Revis: Don't Give Tom Brady Special Treatment
Darrelle Revis is back with the Jets after a successful year in New England, but his season as Tom Brady’s teammate hasn’t disposed him toward sympathy for the Patriots or their quarterback....
Kyle Korver Just Wants To Live, Man
One of the fun things about LeBron James is that he is so impossibly big, fast, and strong that he can turn a crunch-time possession in a playoff game, one which his opponents desperately needed to end with a stop, into a basic fight-or-flight situation....
Bryce Harper Ejected, But Nobody Knows Why
Bryce Harper was tossed from tonight’s game against the Yankees for ... well it isn’t exactly sure what he was tossed for. Home plate umpire Marvin Hudson made a (bad) strike call that Harper disagreed with, and he said a few words before digging in for the next pitch. But then manager Matt Williams...
Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...
A Perfect Picnic Beer For Fruit Realists
The Fruits of the Field are the very finest family of solid foodstuff, preferable even to the glorious Meats, Cheeses, and Processed Grains, and eons better than the mere Vegetables, Candies, and Gelatins. This is because fruits are generally attractive (even the meatiest among us will admit that a ...
Report: Marketing Firm Owns Rights To Select Brazil National Team Squad
It probably doesn’t surprise anyone to know that Brazil’s corrupt soccer federation engaged in corrupt behavior, but these newly released documents are pretty alarming. According to Brazilian paper Estadão, the federation sold all sorts of the Seleção’s economic rights to a marketing firm, including...
Report: NFL And Pats Participating In "Back-Channel Conversations"
The NFL and New England Patriots find themselves in a messy dispute that has the potential to irreparably damage the league. The NFL levied a harsh punishment upon Tom Brady and the Patriots based upon middling evidence, and are basically making up league rules on the fly. Meanwhile, Tom Brady’s app...
Kyrie Irving Has One Father, And It's Not LeBron James
Today’s adventure in hilarious interview exchanges comes via whoever asked Kyrie Irving what sort of “parental role” LeBron James plays with him (starting at the 1:04 mark). ...