br Page 792 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If The Lakers Lose Tonight Mike Brown Will Be Out Of A Job, Says Lakers Vice President (Magic Johnson)
Last night, Magic Johnson had some relatively strong (hypothetical) words for the Lakers coach and key big men....

LeBron James Wins MVP, Says Championship Is "All That Matters To Me." The Rest Of The World: "Rings"
LeBron won his third MVP, joining some pretty stellar company. He said all the right things, noting that the Miami has a bigger goal. Did that stop people from going the "No rings" route?...

Brewers Closer John Axford Blows Save, Endears Himself To Media Anyway
Normally when a player fails to "take his lumps" or "stand up and face the music" or however else you'd like to phrase "talk to the media after screwing up," he is taken to task. John Axford, however, had a pretty good excuse and let the media know via handwritten message....

Bryce Harper Needed 10 Stitches After Hitting Himself In The Face With His Bat
The Nationals beat the Reds last night 7-3 so it was really only an afterthought that Bryce Harper beat himself 10-0. After grounding out to second in the seventh inning, "Harper whacked a wall down the tunnel from the Nationals dugout with his bat." The bat then Mike Emricked off the wall and hit ...

Sacha Baron Cohen Doesn't Know You're Tired of Him
One of the surest signs you've become a successful comedian is that a lot of people absolutely can't stand your shtick. When you're starting out in standup or as a performer, you're desperate to get noticed, but you also have the time to hone your act and experiment and figure out your unique thing,...

Kenneth Faried Appeared To Be Broken After Being Flagrantly Fouled By Kobe Bryant
Kobe Bryant earned a flagrant foul call for this hit on the Nuggets' Kenneth Faried, a shot that—for a moment, at least—made some wonder if Faried would be able to return to the game....

Rob Ryan Would Like To Show You His Beat-Up Old Conversion Van
Rob Ryan is awfully proud of his "vehicle of choice," which, truth be told, looks pretty much like you'd expect it to look. The Dallas Cowboys really did post the video you see above on their website. At one point, Ryan says, "It's got a few, uh, stains in there, probably." Which is pretty much what...

Brian Downing, Krystal Restaurant Named In "Alabama Teabagger" Lawsuit
Remember Brian Downing? He's the gentleman alleged to have been caught on video performing a certain sexual act on a passed-out LSU fan in the hours after the BCS Championship game this year in New Orleans. (See our full coverage here.) That act, which the New Orleans Times-Picayune describes as "p...

Bruce Bochy Just Can't Bear To Watch Anymore
These are down days in The City, with Pablo Sandoval out for weeks after hand surgery, Willie Mota busted for drugs, and a defense that's let down every pitcher on the staff....

Cubs Ballgirl Caught On Camera Writing Note Was Rejecting Fan's Request For Her Phone Number
The video you see above made its way around the internet in recent days, and had even been sent to us by a handful of tipsters. All we knew was what we saw: A ballgirl at Wrigley Field filling out a note and handing it to a ballpark attendant. Naturally, an expert (read: Cubs broadcaster Bob Brenl...

A Brazilian Player Protested His Yellow Card By Doing The Moonwalk
Here's something totally normal from Brazil's Série A. Sport Recife defender Tobi gets booked during the first leg of the Campeonato Pernambucano final (a regional championship) and, when asked by the referee to turn around so the ref can see his number, performs the moonwalk. While American audie...

Better Know An Umpire: Brian Knight
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Down And Out In Baseball's Indie Leagues; Or, What Made Tommy John Want To Rake The Infield?
A dispatch from our correspondent with the Bridgeport Bluefish, an unaffiliated team in the Atlantic League....

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Said "Fire Extinguisher" More Times Than "Kobe Bryant" Last Week
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Mike Leach Appears To Have Autographed A Copy Of His Book With A "Craig James Killed Five Hookers" Reference
Washington State football head coach Mike Leach isn't just inspiring possible new Friday Night Lights movies, he's also playing along with Internet memes referencing the nemesis who probably got him fired from Texas Tech....

This Home Run Ball Painfully Defied The Laws Of Physics
I didn't take many science courses in college, but the curvature of this ball is just astounding to witness. Off some guy's right arm and into another's junk before it careens off a woman's unsuspecting face. Poor fella. Poor lady....

Vin Scully Raced Jackie Robinson On Ice Skates
For those of us living on the East Coast, there's no better teller of bedtime stories than Vin Scully. The embodiment of a man who has forgotten more about baseball than any of us will ever know, Scully weaves narratives from his 63 years with the Dodgers into his description of the events on-fiel...
![Cole Hamels Broke Only One Of Baseball's Unwritten Rules [UPDATE: And Now He's Suspended]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17luvdcne9zirjpg.jpg)
Cole Hamels Broke Only One Of Baseball's Unwritten Rules [UPDATE: And Now He's Suspended]
Much has been made of young Bryce Harper's first few days in the majors. He has a cannon for an arm. He gets on base. He makes good with the locals. He steals home. And now he's caused the Phillies' Cole Hamels to pull off what Nationals GM Mike Rizzo considers the most "classless, gutless chickens...

Nats GM Says "Fake-Tough" Cole Hamels "Doesn't Know Who He's Dealing With"
Cole Hamels admitted late last night that he threw at Nats wunderkind Bryce Harper in the first inning of Sunday's game, and the fallout's coming fast and steady....

Cole Hamels Says He Threw At Bryce Harper
Phillies-Nats, earlier tonight: Cole Hamels drilled Bryce Harper with two outs in the first. Harper then stole home, so joke was on Cole. But none of that would matter much, since Nats starter Jordan Zimmermann buckled in the fourth, and the Phillies won 9-3....