br Page 838 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brewers Pitcher Fiddles With Scissors, Loses
"Narveson was fiddling with his glove with a pair of scissors when the scissors somehow slipped and sliced his left thumb. That would be the thumb on his pitching hand. Eight stitches were needed to close the wound, Brewers manager Ron Roenicke said." [Sporting News]...
Bryce Harper Got Thrown Out Of A Minor League Baseball Game Tonight
Washington Nationals prospect/messiah Bryce Harper of the Harrisburg Senators didn't agree with the umpire's strike call in tonight's game against the Richmond Flying Squirrels. So, he slammed his helmet to the ground, got ejected and did some yelling. Good times were had by all....
Bryan Stow's Family: He's Showing The "Most Response" He's Shown Since The Attack
On the day that the two men charged with savagely attacking Bryan Stow outside Dodger Stadium in April pleaded not guilty — and officials announced the woman who drove them away from the scene won't be charged — Stow's family posted an uplifting update on their website. Here's part of it:...
Here's Video Of Oribe Peralta's Goal That Has Mexico Leading The US At Halftime
In the 17th minute, with the son of the former USMNT coach marking him, Mexico forward Oribe Peralta capitalized on a cross from Andres Guardado. Pretty goal. The U.S. has yet to score its new coach. Second half about to begin....
Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable
It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico cal...
Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....
Wanted: Boston-Area Roommate For High-Strung Veteran Wide Receiver Who Tweets A Lot
Chad Ochocinco, most recently in love with his quarterback: young, fetching Thomas Brady, needs a roommate in Boston. He wants a big Patriots fan, perhaps a real-life Tommy from Quinzee:...
What's All This About Tim Tebow Needing Hormone Replacement Therapy?
I'm a little confused. I wouldn't have believed Tim Tebow would need hormone replacement therapy — he seems like a healthy young man in the prime of his life. Frankly, I would have been shocked if someone told me Tim Tebow needed hormone replacement therapy. But it's a funny funny world we live in, ...
LeBron James Urges Americans To "Take A Sheet" At The Mall
Maybe you saw the ads during the NBA playoffs when LeBron James put some kind of radioactive-looking flavor strip on his tongue and nodded sagaciously. The strips are called Sheets. They contain as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, along with a few vitamins so we can all pretend this isn't a bad i...
Five For Fighting: Comics Vs. Hecklers
There are hecklers at almost every comedy show. They are not to be encouraged and never welcome. They are a nuisance. They change the rhythm of the show because they want attention....
"Your Dad Was A Shitty NBA Player." My Ill-Fated Showdown With A Teenaged Kobe Bryant
In June of 1995, I turned 16 and had a massive growth spurt. In about two months I grew from 6-1 to 6-5. For most of the summer I walked around my house in Upper Darby, Penn., with ice packs on my knees because of growing pains. By early August, I returned to our local court with a newfound ability:...
Tim Tebow's Backwards Baseball Cap Is Serious Business
Broncos fans, you are amazing. Amazing....
In Which Sport Can You Win Despite This Grotesquely Swollen Ankle?
None. But you can win in NASCAR, as Brad Keselowski proved yesterday at Pocono, taking the checkered flag with a broken left ankle that looked like someone stuck a softball under the skin. (On race day, it looked more like this.)...
Look Alive, Or Brandon Jennings Might Completely Embarrass You
Your morning roundup for Aug. 8, the day we learned the mile-high club extended to the cockpit. Video via SLAM Online. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Manscaping And A Mankini Helped MMA Reach Its Aesthetic Nadir At UFC 133
No one watches UFC—what with its bloody noses, sweaty chests, cauliflower ears—for beauty's sake. No one would confuse Dana White with Donna Karan. But holy lord, things got ugly in one of the undercard fights last night....
Radio Guy Apologizes For Calling Giants Pitcher An "Illegal Alien"
When the Phillies and Giants sorta-brawled last night, radio guy Tony Bruno (on right in photo) sent out this Tweet: "gutless #!@%*! Giants. Bochy is a coward for having his illegal alien pitcher hit a guy since mighty Frisco boys ..." and quickly deleted it. But nothing's quickly deleted. ...
Georgia Scheduled Boise State Because They Thought Kellen Moore Had Graduated
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: spoiler alert, the Bulldogs start the season 0-2....
Has God Forsaken Tim Tebow?
Poor Tim Tebow. No matter how much time he spends on his knees, he's probably not going to be the starting quarterback in Denver. Kyle Orton has been practicing exclusively with the Broncos first-team offense. Tebow hasn't gotten a single snap. According to Woody Paige at the Denver Post, the young ...
Josh Gatt, 19-Year-Old American Soccer Player, Is Spending His Summer Break Shattering Ankles
Josh Gatt is a 19-year-old from Michigan. He graduated from high school last year and turned down a scholarship at Indiana to sign with Austrian club SC Rheindorf Altach in summer 2010. In January of this year, he joined Molde, a top-division squad in Norway. Today his first-place squad beat Start...
Tony La Russa's Tortured, Petulant Justification For Plunking Ryan Braun, As Read By A 4-Year-Old Boy
You can watch Tony La Russa try and fail to justify himself — he cycles through logical fallacies as if they were middle relievers in a 5-4 ballgame against the Reds — or you can watch young Mack Scocca-Ho capture the essence of La Russa's monologue in the video above....