br Page 840 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fat Ronaldo Goes To Ibiza
There was a reason he was given the cognomen "fat" even during his playing days. Finally retired in February, Ronaldo took his little yellow bathing suit to Ibiza, presumably for the house and trance clubs. We wonder now if we shouldn't have labeled this NSFW....

Unconscionable Neymar Goal Highlights A Very Brazilian Night Of Soccer
We grab your attention with this, Neymar's first of two scores on the night, a one-of-a-kind run through the Flamengo defense. But we really wanted to highlight the entirety of one of the more thrilling games in recent memory. (If you've got 90 minutes to kill, the whole match is on YouTube)....

The Sucker Karate-Kicking Goalkeeper Could Soon Be Charged With Attempted Murder
Remember that whole U-20 soccer tournament brawl in Brazil that came to an abrupt halt when evil Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind? Well, you can likely tack an attempted-murder charge onto the lifetime ban that Gustavo's facin...

This Is What It's Like To Sit Near Big Yankees Fan Michael LaPayower In The Bronx
When Jake Bertanza went to last night's Yankees game, he might have expected that CC Sabathia would pitch a lovely game, but he certainly could not have known he'd end up sitting a few seats away from Michael "Big Yankees Fan" LaPayower and his videographer brother....

Presenting The Ex-Future Mrs. Jay Cutler
As opposed to the future ex-Mrs. Cutler, who is whichever C-lister the Bears QB will glom on to next in his never-ending quest to be a star (just playing football's not cutting it)....

Fan Who Wore That LeBron Heat Jersey To An Indians Game Last Summer In Serious Condition After Attack
"Matthew Bellamy was attacked at about 3 a.m. Monday in the 2000 block of Oldgate Road, Sandusky police said. Witnesses told police that Bellamy, 30, didn't fight back when Robert Horton, 23, jumped out of a car and hit him three times." [Sandusky Register]...

Boise State Forbidden From Wearing All Blue Everything On All Blue Field
The Boise State football program, which will play its first season as a Mountain West Conference team this year, will not be permitted to wear its electric blue uniforms at home on its electric blue field in league games. The agreement presumably satisfies the "those things are annoying as shit" cla...

Deconstructing Last Night's Most Amazing Moment: Scott Proctor's Faceplant
Lots of wacky things are bound to happen in a 19-inning game, but I don't think anyone will be able to forget the lasting image of this morning's Pirates-Braves marathon: Scott Proctor tripping over his own feet while coming out of the batters box. Thankfully MLB.com was all over the replays on th...

Brian Orakpo Is A Company Man, Although He Probably Shouldn't Be
Brian Orakpo can't quite find the words he's looking for. But the words he did give us help explain why the players didn't get more in the just-ended labor standoff....

Guess Who Arrived First For Broncos Practice Today?
At 8:01 this morning: "Tim Tebow. Of course." [@AdamSchefter]...

The Sucker Karate Kick Is Much More Evil Than The Sucker Punch
After a third-round game in a U-20 soccer tournament in Minas Gerais, Brasil on Monday, the players brawled. That brawl suddenly ended, however, when Sport Recife goalkeeper Gustavo karate-kicked Vasco da Gama's Elivelton directly in his neck from behind and with no warning....

Nixon's Nightmare Was Brought To Life At The White House Today
The world champion San Francisco Giants, accompanied by Willie Mays, visited the White House today, in all their scraggly, bearded glory. President Obama made jokes about Brian Wilson's beard ("I do fear it"), his attire ("Now underneath Brian's beard, and the spandex tuxedo, and the sea captain cos...

Mike Vick Tweets That He'd Be Honored To Have Favre Back Him Up, Then Tweet Disappears
You'll recall this, Howard Eskin's report that the Eagles might have some interest in bringing the gunslinging kid aboard as a backup in 2011. This scared a lot of us....

Stephen A. Smith, The Comeback Kid?
Amateur LeRoy Neiman impersonator Bob Raissman poses a disarming theory in his New York Daily News column today: Stephen A. Smith might actually be doing a good job on an ESPN outlet....

The Strange Daily Commute Of Kei Igawa, Minor League Superstar
Bill Pennington has a splendid New York Times piece today about Kei Igawa, the other Japanese pitcher who came over to the US in the winter of 2006. The Red Sox splurged on the posting fee for Daisuke Matsuzaka—who, let's not forget, had two nice seasons before becoming the biggest Boston blight sin...

Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell
Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership....

Report: Bryan Stow Beating Suspect Exonerated, Two New Suspects Arrested
Per the Los Angeles Times, "Los Angeles police have arrested two men on suspicion of beating baseball fan Bryan Stow at Dodger Stadium and have concluded the suspect they took into custody in May was not responsible, a law enforcement source familiar with the investigation told The Times on Thursda...

Losing To Bruce Bleeping Chen Makes Ozzie Guillen Curse Like A Sailor
This is actually a very reasonable response to getting four hits in eight innings against Chen. [CBS Chicago]...

Tiger Woods Dumps His Longtime Caddie, Magically Solves All His Problems
The guy formerly known as the best golfer on earth announced today — via his website — that he was kicking longtime caddie Stevie Williams to the curb. Hell has to response quote like a Tiger Woods sidekick scorned. To wit:...

Brandon Jennings Was On Time For This Alley-Oop To Himself
Bucks guard Brandon Jennings did his best Kevin Durant impression in a self-assisted, fast-break alley-oop at Baltimore's Melo Center earlier this week. His timing was impeccable....