br Page 842 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deion Branch Will Be At A Papa John's In Louisville For One Hour On Friday
With the reverence worthy of a Super Bowl MVP, the sign outside the Papa John's at 2nd and Liberty streets in Louisville, Ky. invites passersby to stop in this Friday to distract Patriots WR Deion Branch from the fact that he's been forced to make an appearance at a Papa John's in his old college t...

It's Time To Watch Tiger Woods's Japanese Sports Rub Back Creme Commercial
When your wife takes a nine iron to your career and marketability, sometimes the best response is to jump at the first Katsuhiro Kaji heat rub offer thrown your way. Introducing Tiger Woods, spokesman for Vantelin Kowa....

Roy Williams Proposed To A Woman Through The Mail, And It Did Not Go Well
Football is easy; love is hard. Roy Williams isn't very good at either right now....

Blotto Teenage Brewers Fan Soils Himself And Falls Down Stairs At Miller Park
A few years back, the New York Times had a piece about Wisconsin's drinking problem. "When it comes to drinking, it seems, no state keeps pace with Wisconsin," they wrote. It was bad, they said, in large part because Wisconsin bars and restaurants allow minors to drink in the presence of parents o...

Gluttony Among The Colonists: Deadspin's British Foreign Correspondent Reports From Nathan’s
America smells heavily of sweat. Sweat and old takeout—a lingering, clotted odor, a hybrid of a gas leak and authentic home cooking. This is my first time smelling or seeing the country. I arrived three days ago, Heathrow to JFK, having never crossed the Atlantic before. Now after a long and hot sub...

"A Good Deed Never Goes Unpunished, You Know?": Meet The Innovator Who Helped Orchestrate <em>The Decision</em>
There's another important American anniversary to celebrate this week, and one that we should all be congratulated for enduring together: a year ago this Friday, July 8, LeBron James settled into a director's chair at a Greenwich Boys & Girls Club and told Jim Gray about biting his fingernails. He a...

On My Honeymoon, I Kept Seeing A Flabby, Neck-Braced Kaka
You probably know Kaka as the superstar midfielder for Brazil and Real Madrid. Maybe you'll remember him as the cover boy of FIFA 11....

Deion Sanders, Jr. Shaken Down For Attempted Chick-Fil-A Purchase
Deion Sanders Jr. is a highly touted quarterback prospect at Marcus High in Flower Mound, Texas, about an hour from Dallas. Having the name Deion Sanders may help him in this realm....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Schmuck Owners
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. In honor of Frank McCourt, the lockouts, and James Dolan's never-ending flirtation with Isiah Thomas, here are five of the best stories ever written about terrible owners....

Ohio-Based Lady Sues Kobe Bryant For Not Marrying Her
Kobe Bryant has five rings. But now one litigious soul is livid that she didn't get one from him....

LeBron James Dunks On Small Child To Stay Alive In Casual Game Of Knockout
LeBron James spoke at a basketball camp this week, and then he humored the young'ns by following up his missed jumpers with a few dunks — one of which knocked out a kid's lay-up and then knocked over the kid. Luckily for the camper, the initial embarrassment will ultimately evolve into the best pa...

Josh Cribbs Goes To War Against The Tyranny Of Meter Maids
A couple of weeks ago, Browns receiver Josh Cribbs received a ticket for parking his Mercedes at an expired meter in Cleveland Heights. He protested immediately that the meter still had time left, posting a photo of his ticket next to the meter showing 8 minutes remaining. Police say they don't know...

Why These Four Countries Are The Only Ones Not Trying To Qualify For The World Cup
Yesterday, the road to the 2014 World Cup kicked off with the first AFC qualifying round. (Technically, Montserrat and Belize played their first match two weeks ago, in Trinidad and Tobago because Montserrat doesn't have an acceptable stadium. The game drew 100 spectators.)...
![Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1865o9ndt013bjpg.jpg)
Exclusive: How An NBA Team Makes Money Disappear [UPDATE WITH CORRECTION]
We've obtained audited financial data for the New Jersey Nets covering the three fiscal years from June 2003 to June 2006. Though the numbers end five years ago, you can still see the roots of the argument that will have NBA owners, come midnight, again locking out their players. You can also see ho...

The Stanley Cup Begins Its Summer Job As A Firefighter
Yes. Awesome....

Oh Look, There Was Another Brawl At The D.C. Caribbean Carnival (Somewhat NSFW)
As opposed to the video posted, like, an hour ago, this brawl does not involve calls for titties. Rather, this "cArabian festival" footage drives home the point that, "If you're not on Howard University right now, you're not doing nothing." Fair enough....

Your Long, Painful Wait For Another Street-Festival Brawl Video Has Now Come To An End
What's left unsaid in this footage from a minor dust-up at last weekend's DC Caribbean Carnival — or as the uploader titled it, "caribian fest day 2" — is the cause. What's not left unsaid is that at least two observer deeply, genuinely "wanna see some titties, want some titties. Titties. Titties!...

We've Found The Lass Responsible For The Lone Amstel Light On The Bruins' $156,000 Bar Tab
When the Bruins threw down with an epic body count at their Stanley Cup celebrations at Foxwoods, the world was drawn not to the six-figure bottle of champagne: Armand de Brignac is so played out. Instead it was the solo Amstel Light, a beacon of moderation and taste in a storm of crapulence. ...
