br Page 902 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: The Dogged Efforts To Prove Dez Bryant's Mom Is A Sinner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Karacter Kops determined to prove that the mother of a newly minted professional football player is, while not a hooker, still a very bad person....

Dez Bryant's Non-Streetwalking Mother Upset That Jeff Ireland Has Not Apologized To Her
"No, he has not called. I think he should have. Why wouldn't you do that?," she complained to Fanhouse. Maybe Ireland still thinks he would risk a solicitation charge if he called her directly....

Peter King Forswears All Brett Favre Predictions, Immediately Makes Brett Favre Prediction
Here's Peter King, instantly forgetting what he thought he thought: "I'm finished predicting what he'll do, because I've been wrong every time I've predicted recently. And if I had to go to Vegas ... I'd bet he plays this fall." [MMQB, KSK]...

Kobe Bryant: Whitest Man On The Planet
Poor Black Mamba lets the LA Times Magazine dress him in an inexplicable pimp-doily-meets-Jor-El wardrobe meant to showcase the fun side of his personality. Plus, the interview portion has him discussing dog shit again. [LATmag]...

Runaway Democracy Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the seven media members who didn't vote for Lebron James as MVP, showing that you (sort of) can't spell insufferable without "suffrage."...

Brett Favre's Selfishness Has No Offseason
So now Favre says that if he plays again, he'll have to get ankle surgery first. A simple prognosis, yet he manages to shit on both Vikings and Packers fans with it....

The Commodification Of Tiger Woods's Whoring Continues Apace
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

In Which We Stumble Into An Interview With Mr. Skin, Father Of 3-Year-Old Phenom Beau
Two days ago, Deadspin's little-kid baseball scouting service brought you video of 3-year-old Beau. Shortly after our post, we learned that the man playing ball with Beau was his father, Jim McBride. You might know him as Mr. Skin (NSFW)....

Drew Brees, <em>Times-Picayune</em> Leave The Yard In Entirely Different Ways
"A packed house at Zephyr Field learned two things Wednesday night. One, that child sexual abuse is a big problem, and two, that New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees can smack home runs from either side of the plate." [Times-Picayune; related]...

"Balzer" Girl Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Last Night's Winner: LeElbow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the hinge joint in LeBron James's right arm, which exploded into a thousand pieces yesterday, filling the Cleveland sky with bright constellations of bone dust and shard....

The NFL's Worst Human Being Works For The Dolphins
It comes out that the exec who asked Dez Bryant if his mother was a prostitute was Miami GM Jeff Ireland. Hey, Parcells wasn't hung up on character as a coach, why should he change in the front office? [Yahoo!]...

Tim Tebow Leads The League In Something, For The First And Last Time
The top selling NFL rookie jerseys are Tebow, Ndamukong Suh, Sam Bradford, Eric Berry and Dez Bryant. One of these five will also be the top selling CFL jersey in 10 years. Try to guess which! [Rovell]...

Is Notre Dame Basketball Coach Mike Brey Illicitly Humping This TV News Lady?
Even if he is, Notre Dame media relations person Bernadette Cafarelli told us over the phone that "Mike Brey is the men's basketball coach at Notre Dame." (Her inflection suggested a "PERIOD!" so I'll add that.) Onto the smutty rumor-grinder....

Miller Park: Just The Latest Stadium Of Death (UPDATE)
Two freak accidents in two days, and it's clear that spectators in Milwaukee are taking their lives in their hands when they come out for a ballgame, what with all the flying bat shards, and falling fans....

All Goal Celebrations Should Be Intricately Choreographed Allegories
Three years ago after getting kicked off Silkeborg for fighting, Bajram Fetai, as a member of Nordsjaelland, scored against his former team and celebrated with an elaborate play-fighting routine that would've embarrassed Jerome Robbins. [Big Soccer, H/T Luke]...

Apple Thinks This Tiger Woods Cartoon Is Too Mean For Your iPhone
Cartoonist Daryl Cagle says Apple rejected his Tiger Woods editorial cartoons app on the grounds that it "ridicules" a public figure, which seems like an awfully strong stance against something that amounts to a Leno monologue in pen and ink....

Tim Tebow And The Broncos: A Match Made In Metaphorical Heaven
Tebow, describing either the orgy scene in Caligula or his first meeting with Josh McDaniels: "There was passion. It was just intense, and it was ball, and it was juice. The juice level in that room was high, and it was awesome."...

Last Night's Winner: Marian Hossa
LeBron is good. How good? He won last night without even playing a game- OR EVEN GOING OUT AT ALL! So, click through for the real winner-...

Suddenly, Everyone's Saying Mean Things About Bryce Harper
Kevin Goldstein talked to some baseball-types about Chosen Person Bryce Harper, and good lord do they sound like a couple high school girls passing around a slam book....