br Page 906 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tailpipe: "Like A Warrior In Battle. Hubba Hubba."
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
Mark Sanchez Is Poised ... To Be A Whiffenpoof
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Shall I Compare Thee To A Tetherball? Analogizing Baylor's Brittney Griner
Brittney Griner is a 6-foot-8 women's basketball player at Baylor who dunks in games. How to describe her? With analogy!...
Old Man Favre Becomes A Grandpa
Favre's daughter Brittany gave birth to Parker Brett, who won't make a decision on whether or not to return to the womb until August. [Star Trib]...
The Apotheosis Of Jason Heyward
This is Jason Heyward. He is 6'9", and 385 pounds of pure muscle. His middle name is "Adenolith." Shards of his bat can cure cancer. And he will save baseball. Definitely one, maybe two of these things are actually true....
Three Steps: Skirt NCAA Rules, Peddle Frozen Pizza, Join Nuggets
Remember Brian Butch, the guy who was a McDonald's All-American but still redshirted at Wisconsin? The Nuggets signed him because...someone needs to hack Gasol. Enjoy Butch's old commercial for Pep's, a frozen pizza with "quality...Wisconsin...sauce." [Ball Don't Lie]...
If There's A Gremlin On The Wing, Shaun Rogers Is Your Man
That gun in Rogers's carry-on luggage? It was already cocked, with a full magazine and a bullet in the chamber. Somebody's seen Passenger 57 too many times. [Plain Dealer]...
Donovan McNabb Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Redskins quarterback (wow) Donovan McNabb, who stole a busy weekend show when he suddenly turned the tables on Philadelphia and became Bizarro Brett Favre....
Coach K Is A Loathsome, Humorless Prig, Part 1,294
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Let's Shut Down MLS For A Little Bit
USA Soccer's plan was going so well. Let all the Euro players injure themselves in the lead-up to the world cup, and head to South Africa with the only healthy squad. So much for that, Brian Ching....
Shaun Rogers Almost Brings Loaded Gun Onto An Airplane
The Cleveland tackle was arrested at Hopkins International Airport today after he "forgot" that he had a loaded gun in his bag. Even worse, his shampoo bottle was well over four ounces. [Plain-Dealer/WOIO]...
The Steve Phillips Redemption Timeline
AOL Fanhouse hired Steve Philips as their new baseball analyst, just 161 days after the world learned he had an affair with an ESPN underling. Is that some kind of record for morphing from sexual disgrace to professional respectability?...
They May Be Smug Unlikeable Bastards, But Damned If They Don't Have Good Foot Doctors
WVU's Darryl Bryant was treated by an orthopedic surgeon from Duke, in hopes of being ready to face the Blue Devils on Saturday. Would you be shocked if he implanted a time bomb in that foot? [News & Observer]...
Shane O'Brien's Favorite Trashy Bar Led To An Unscheduled Week Off
The defenseman showed up late to practice yesterday, so the Canucks told him not to bother showing up for the next few games. Why was he late? We've got an idea, and it'll come as no surprise to Vancouver fans....
The "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story" Gets A Little More Clear
We still don't know who's telling the whole truth: the drunk kid who allegedly barged into Harold Reynolds' hotel room, or the MLB analyst. To help add detail, one former ESPN employee shares his HR experience from Disney World 1999....
The "Harold Reynolds Spring Break Story" Just Won't Die
Although Harold Reynolds summoned the MLB PR department to flatly deny he was ever in Disney World over Spring Break and drunkenly intruded upon by a hapless young man, other people say HR is lying. They sent along this photo....
Ibrahimovic Plays A Very Literal Back Pass!
Those of you seduced by some cracking Premier League weekend matches probably didn't feel the need to bathe in continental football waters to get your thrills....
Correction: Mikhail Prokhorov Is Your New Favorite Sports Billionaire
Last week, we pondered whether software tycoon Larry Ellison would soon become the NBA's craziest billionaire owner. Not a chance, once Mike "Mad Dog" Prokhorov suits up for the New Jersey Nets....
I Was There...Being Paris Hilton's Manslave
Here's an unexpected submission. One of the young men selected to carry Paris Hilton during MTV's Cancun Spring Break shitshow emailed his experience and, I must say, it is something else....
I Was There Spring Break Edition: Strippers In Mexico
In 2007, "Lyle" went to Puerto Vallarta for his last college spring break, this is his story....