br Page 911 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And On The Fourth Day, Bryce Harper Homered
Here's the Chosen One, taking some weak Arizona Western stuff deep in his fourth game as a collegian. Watch closely and you might see the ball transmute into pure light somewhere over Lake Mead. [YouTube, Las Vegas Review-Journal]...

Lance Broadway and Gerald Laird Would Make An Excellent Battery
Major league journeymen sure are punchy this offseason. Former White Sox/Met and current Blue Jay minor leaguer Lance Broadway is being sued for rearranging a man's face at a New Year's Eve party in Dallas. While shirtless, of course....

That Pro Bowl Was Something To See
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Yup, Terry's Secret Lover's Abortion Is Pretty Much Biggest Story Since First Stamford Bridge
When a court overturned an injunction on publishing some John Terry gossip, we thought it was a standard "affair with teammate's girlfriend." But, holy shit. We had no idea....

Dear God, Make Me A Bi-Plane, So I Can Fly Farve, Far Far Away From Here
These "Airplanes (Bi-Plane) Handcrafted of Bud Light Limited Edition Viking Cans" will fly you to just within miles of your destination before getting intercepted in mid-air. Cash Only! [Craigslist, via]...

The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...

OK, One Last Piece Of Brett Favre Schadenfreude
From the same Vikings radio team that brought you "This is not Detroit, man" comes this swaggering bit of audio, spoken just moments earlier: "Game's tied at 28. Fine. Because Brett Favre is the quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings."...

Nike's New Kobe Ad Addresses The Timely Theme Of Gunplay
"I'll do whatever it takes to win games," Kobe says in the ad, which you can find in this week's Sports Illustrated. "I don't leave anything in the chamber." That Nike, always on the cutting edge. Full ad below....

John Terry's Affair With Teammate's Girl Manages To Explode English Media Law
An English high court has overturned an injunction prohibiting publishing news of Chelsea and national team captain John Terry's affair with a teammate's girlfriend. Forget the shitshow this will cause the Lions; the ramifications for the press are huge....

Miss Manners Says That's A Pur-Don't
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Backup Catcher, The NBA Journeyman's Wife, And The Gropey Grandpa
More details emerge in the arrest of Gerald Laird and his prospect brother after a drunken brawl at a Suns game. The whole thing was set off when their grandfather groped a Celtics wife. Isn't that how it always happens?...

Because Everything Is About Brett Favre, Always
Reports have Elin Nordegren staying at Favre's Mississippi home while visiting Tiger in sex rehab, which we have yet to prove he's in anyway. If you piggyback a false rumor on another false rumor, does that make it true? [Via]...

Let's Not Form An Angry Mob Just Yet
Eugene police would like you to know that Jeremiah Masoli and Garrett Embry are not considered suspects at this time. So put away the torches for now. [KMTR]...

Tim Layden Bids Farewell To Brett Favre With Some Sexy Slash Fiction
There are two noble conventions of football journalism that will fall by the wayside should Brett Favre elect to sit his old ass down for good. The first is of the Werder-Mortensen "Sources: Favre eats soup" variety. And the second?...

Oregon "Hoodrats" Accused Of Stealing From Frat Members
There's trouble a-brewin' in Eugene as two Oregon football players have been accused of stealing computers from a fraternity. It's a classic campus sports crime story with a neat little dash of racial strife....

It Appears Everyone Can Now Make Half-Court Shots At Olathe Northwest's Gym
Okay — this is officially insane. FOX4 went back to do a follow-up story about Joel Branstrom's blind-folded half-court shot. Reporter Rob Low, just shooting a teaser for the spot, tried one of his own (backwards)...and also made it....

A More Visceral, Profane Reaction To Favre's Interception
One Favre-jersey wearer, shows us what it's like to go into apoplectic shock, while his poor daughter just yelps. I get the sense he kicked something hard once the game mercifully ended. [TheScore]...

A Video Treasury Of Brett Favre's Season-Ending Interceptions (UPDATE)
Brett Favre has now thrown an interception in his last significant pass of the last game of the last three seasons. Let's look back at the ol' gunslinger fearlessly doing the thing that makes Tom Jackson admire him so....

Ryan Miller: Party Animal
This should cheer you up. While visiting San Jose, the Buffalo Sabres were booked in the same hotel as a furry convention. (That happens a lot, apparently.) [Thanks to Chris B. for the photo.]...

Bourbon Street Looked Like The Most Fun Place On Earth Last Night
Now, this is not Detroit, man. Nola.com has amazing footage of the joyful chaos on Bourbon Street last night after Garrett Hartley split the uprights (he's apparently a soothsayer, too). There's brassy marching, unreserved embracing and abundant whodatting! [ViaSBNation]...