br Page 913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stories That Don't Suck: Joe Willie, Drug Hysteria, Blago Agonistes, And I'm With CarCar
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

Ex-NBC Sports Employee: Dick Ebersol Is The Biggest Failure Of Them All
We were fortunate enough to receive a scalding take down of Dick Ebersol from a former NBC Sports employee who took "great offense" when his ex-boss called Conan O'Brien an "astounding failure." Here's his (anonymous) counter-argument....

Romo-Favre Manlove Getting A Little Unbearable
Thank goodness the game's just two days away. We're dangerously close to the two just calling a press conference and fellating each other in front of the assembled media....

Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...

Former Late Night Talk Show Writer Reveals Insider News About Conan O'Brien
"ESPN columnist Bill Simmons tweeted earlier this morning, "FYI: Next week is Conan's final week hosting the Tonight Show. His staff is trying to book big guests so he goes out with a bang. It's true." [MSNBC]...

The Astros Are Confident Brett Myers Won't Punch His Wife In The Face Anymore
"We did our due diligence, we talked to the Phillies, we talked to Brett and we're satisfied that this is not going to be an ongoing problem." [Philly.com]...

You're An Enormous Nerd, Charlie Brown
Some brilliant soul has calculated Charlie Brown's pitching statistics based on comic strips from the 1950s (record: 1-25) and 1960s (7-85). Stats from the 1970s are not included due to Charlie Brown's heavy use of amphetamines. [Wezen-Ball.com, via GQ]...

Everybody Loves Kurt Warner...Except One Former California Pizza Kitchen Employee
Kurt Warner just can't stop winning over NFL fans with his sage quarterbacking and stock boy humbleness, so even if he doesn't make it to Canton we can all agree he's an exceptional human being, right? Behold a dissenter....

"Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" Guy Dies On Sadly Appropriate Day Of The Week
Jan Gabriel, the motorsports announcer and demolition-derby promoter whose commercials gave us the immortal "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" phrase, died of kidney disease on Sunday. [chitownradio.com, jancgabriel.com]...

Here Lie The New England Patriots: 2001-2010
After their humiliating beatdown on Sunday, you might be tempted to look back on Sunday as the day the New England Patriots' dynasty died. You are definitely not alone....

Russian Hockey League Is Gonna Need A Bigger Penalty Box
A KHL game was canceled after 3:49 of the first period when a brawl resulted in 691 penalty minutes and not enough players left to finish the game. Also: a Jaromir Jagr sighting! [RussianHockeyFans/Fanhouse]...

Defense Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like NFL defensive units who shut down their opponents and made all the difference in first-round playoff wins. When they bothered to show up....

They're Just Mining Your Childhood For Ideas Now
LeBron and Dwight Howard have teamed up to film an update of the landmark McDonald's HORSE commercial. Spoiler: the game ends when Howard is unable to hit a free throw five times in a row....

Childress’ Son Arrested for DUI
No Minnesota Vikings season is ever complete with a good DUI arrest. And a week before the team is hosts their divisional round playoff game, Chilly's son went and pulled a Tommy Kramer:...

Fight's Off, At Least Until It's On Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Return Of The Hi-Top Fade
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bruce Pearls Sticks Gun Foot In Mouth
Four players suspended after being caught with handguns? No problem, says Pearl. "We still have got weapons." [Kentucky Sports Radio]...

"I Like To Fight In The Nude" - Behind Kobe Bryant Deathmatch Fiction
What if Kobe and LeBron fought to the death? We go inside the mind of the man who's played out that scenario in gory, hilarious detail....

The 2009 Cleveland Browns: A Season Of Failure
The Cleveland Browns are not the worst team in the NFL. Yet, front office chaos, locker room drama, and a lot of lousy football have made them exemplars of what it means to be a terrible sports franchise....

Last Night's Winner: Screenshot Enthusiasts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who watched the Fiesta Bowl's cornucopia of bizarre and occasionally disturbing images. And then flooded our inbox with every single one of them....