br Page 924 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If You Were Worried Kimbo Slice Wouldn't Have Anyone To Beat Up, Relax
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....

Evil Russian Mastermind To Buy Nets In Crucial 'Phase 1' Of Operation
Mikhail Prokhorov (actual picture) is one of Russia's richest and most sinister men. Now he's extending his tentacles into America as the newest majority owner of the Nets. But what's he really up to?...

Russian Billionaires Are NBA's Last Hope
All New Jersey Nets owner Bruce Ratner wants to do is get the Nets out of New Jersey and plant them in the heart of Brooklyn, but he's missing one key ingredient. What's it called? Oh right...money. He has none....

Yankees More Than Willing To Employ Crazy Old Men
Senior citizens are suing the Bombers for age discrimination after one was asked in a job interview, "What could someone 73 years old offer the Yankees?" I don't know...lunatic micromanagement and a Dave Winfield blackmail file? [NYPost]...

Psycho T Found Your Dog!
Tyler Hansbrough—and a Andy Katz doppelganger—will find your lost puppy through the magic of social networking (and AT&T! What a great corporate partner!) It's a shame that this doesn't violate any NCAA rules. [Rush The Court]...

It's Bizarro Phillies Dad!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

LeBron Conquers Hollywood, One Wacky Hijink At A Time
The geniuses behind "City Slickers 2" are penning "Fantasy Basketball Camp," starring LeBron James. You might have seen this story already today, but it gives me an excuse to run this photo. [Ain't It Cool News]...

I'll See Your Vagina And Raise You A Penis
Due to an obscure legal loophole called The Constitution, business can't restrict ladies' nights promotions to women. So when a man entered a ladies' poker tournament in Atlantic City, guess what happened?...

The NCAA's Last True Believer
Myles Brand, the career academic who shitcanned Bobby Knight and became the NCAA's fourth president and maybe its last true believer, was the perfect salesman for an organization that pretends, against all evidence, not to be selling anything....

Tim Tebow To Remain In Florida The Rest Of His Natural Life?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sir, You Did Not Read The Memo Carefully
(GolfTippin via Shane Bacon)...

It's Fight Night In The Bronx
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Stokley's 'Miracle' Touchdown
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

Tom Brady Is Out Of Suzy Kolber's League
Tom Brady was lucky to escape last night with a win. Needless to say, escaping Suzy Kolber's post-game advances wasn't as easy. [With Leather](Video BarStoolSports/NYC)...

O.J. Simpson's Last Remaining Fan (And Other Tales Of Woe)
We got many weekend submissions for Morning Crap that weren't good enough to "wake up!" to (or earn their own post) but were too good not to share. So they morphed into this special Voltron-like gallery of awesomeness. Tremble, weaklings!...

You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....

Brian Urlacher's Season Is Over
The Bears linebacker dislocated his wrist last night and is reportedly out for the rest of this season. Chicago's opening week just gets better and better! [Tribune]...

Kyle Orton Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win more than others. Like Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who won the weekend by not losing. (For Kyle Orton, that's quite an accomplishment.)...
