br Page 926 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's What We'll All Be Talking About Tomorrow (UPDATE)
Quick! Look at Oregon's LeGarrette Blount sucker punch the Broncos' Byron Hout and pull a semi-Artest, before they take it down....
<em>National Review</em> Guy Is Tired Of All Those Lefty Sportswriters Who Don't Really Exist
Whiny Jay Nordlinger's had it up to here with those ragingly liberal sportswriters (that's you, Comrade Cannizzaro!) always spilling politics in his sports. "Why do they have to flick some mud into your banana split?" he writes, from Neptune. [NRO]...
Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...
Bruce Bowen Retires To Focus On Cutthroat Hair Salon Business
Three-time NBA Champion Bruce Bowen is calling it a career at age 38. That should given him plenty of time to bum rush San Antonio hair spas and berate former employees for stealing his business....
Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....
Winnipeg's Forecast Just Got A Lot Less Rainy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
Boise State To Baffle Opponents With Bright Colors
Please make a note of wardrobe instructions for all Boise State home games, so that you can properly show your support for the Broncos....by creating blinding seizures in opposing quarterbacks and home TV viewers. [BroncoSports]...
Brett Favre's Just A Kid Out There Who Wants To End Your Career
As noted earlier, Brett Favre launched himself in the direction of Eugene Wilson's cruciate ligaments last night — an undeniable prick move that surely no one would chalk up to Favre's oft-cited youthful exuberance. Right?...
Aim For The Knees, Brett!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Tom Brady's Throwing Shoulder Will Be Fine, Says Source Within Lying-Ass Organization
This was the shoulder on which Albert Haynesworth was briefly docked Friday. "There is no need for hysteria," says a source close to the tactically dishonest Patriots, who will now list Brady as "probable (shoulder)" for all eternity. [Boston Globe]...
George Steinbrenner Will Steal Your Business Ideas
A disgruntled former MSG exec says he designed the blueprint for YES network, which George promptly stole to build his $3 billion television empire. So naturally he's suing for due credit, to the tune of $23 million....
Who Needs An Immigration Wall When You Have Chipper Jones?
The Atlanta Braves third baseman is an avid hunter and since his home rests on a tract of land near the Mexican border, he often encounters many of brave illegal immigrants stealthily en route to a better way of life....
Why Your Team Sucks: Denver Broncos
Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Brandon Marshall: Kind Of A Crybaby
Denver probably thought all their troubles were gone when they shipped Jay Cutler out of town, but now they've got an even bigger problem child on their hands in Brandon Marshall. The operative word being "child."...
Bengals Owner Will Not Tolerate Messages From On High
Banners trashing Cincinnati's front office were flying above the team's training camp, until the FAA stepped in — at the behest of Mike Brown. The man can't run a football team, but he sure can control the skies. [WhoDeyRevolution]...
Arturo Gatti's Widow Still Peeved About That Whole "Falsely Imprisoned For Murder" Thing
And now she's suing the samba pants off the poor Brazilian State of Pernambuco for the indignity. That happened, like, six weeks ago. Get over it already! South American prison couldn't have been that bad. [AP]...
Big Ben's Accuser Is 18 Kinds Of Crazy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Scoop Jackson Loses His Mind, Again
Scoop on Brett Favre: "If he were a woman, he wouldn't be able to get away with this and still be respected, because this is not the behavior of respectable ladies...They have names for women like that." [ESPN.com]...
Slumping Team Tries New Motivational Tactic: Guns
When a reader sends you a tip with the subject line "More dysfunctional team than the Mets," you have to open it. So of course the story involves a soccer team's executives threatening the players with guns after a loss....
Dan Duquette's Minor League Team Evicted From Stadium
The tractor parked on home plate at Holman Stadium in Nashua, New Hampshire, is not there to mow the grass. It's there to keep the American Defenders from playing baseball until they pay $45,000 in rent and back taxes....