br Page 938 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"It's A Good Thing I Have A Husband To Promote My Song"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Kobe Holds Up His End Of The Bargain
NBA executives can breathe a sigh of relief — even if LeBron loses tonight, at least they'll have Kobe Bryant in the NBA finals. Bryant scored 35 and the Lakers pounded the Nuggets 119-92, showing off the killer instinct that they established at just the right time. [OC Register]...

Kobe Bryant's Greatness Lacks Airness
"...Jordan broke his challengers, convincing every player in the NBA that no one else had what it takes ...Kobe Bryant, too, tests his opponents' will-but sometimes they pass the test. The real lesson of the Olympics: "Pick up a few pointers from Kobe, and maybe you can take him." [Slate]...

Fran Tarkenton <em>Still</em> Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest...
Concerned about any "firestorm" he may have caused with his Favre bashing,Tarkenton returned to 790 The Zone this morning to clarify a few things he said. Actually he just goes on more of a tirade. Today's victims: sports writers, Marcellus Wiley, "Society," and, of course, Favre....

How Conan O'Brien Ruined The Stanley Cup Finals
For the first time in 54 years, two Stanley Cup Finals games will be played on back-to-back nights. Why the rush? Because NBC doesn't want boring old hockey games cluttering up their precious Law & Order reruns....

No Gatorade Machine Is Safe From Zambrano's Wrath
Carlos Zambrano did not make it through his start against the Pirates today and neither did the Gatorade dispenser in the Cubs dugout. Carlos gets ejected, but it's always the electrolytes that have to pay the price....

Fran Tarkenton Has A Few Things To Get Off His Chest...
The Vikings legendary quarterback must have had some pepper in his eyes during this interview with Atlanta radio station 790 The Zone or he was just feeling particularly ornery. Especially when it comes to the possibility of the Ol' Gunslinger donning the purple this year....

Another Belichick Son Will Experience The Joys Of Alcohol Education Classes
The home life at the Belichick household may become a little turbulent now that 17-year-old Brian Belichick was busted for underage drinking at Gillette Stadium during the NCAA Lacrosse Championships....

This Is Why Football Does Not Have Innings
A ridiculous experiment in "inning-based" football degenerated into a bench-clearing, crowd-rioting brawl, all because former Michigan quarterback Todd Collins does not understand the basic principles of clock management....

Uh Oh, Cleveland
No one is saying the city of Cleveland should be panicking right now, but it does seem like hoarding canned goods and putting your life savings into mason jars would not be the worst idea in the world. All is ... not well....

Guess Who's Back...Back Again
‘When I was playing every week, I bitched about the little things. Like, God, we've got to go outside today? It's raining! Or, why is Bill dunking the ball in soap? Or, why do we have a meeting at 7:30 to talk about everything we've already talked about." [SI]...

Chinese Investors Eye Stake In Cavs, Signifying Something Or Other About LeBron
Over the weekend came news that a group of Chinese investors were looking to buy a 15 percent stake in the Cleveland Cavaliers. This is a big deal, not least because it would mean the Chinese now own most of our debt and a share of our favorite basketball player....

But Do They Use Flex-o-Lite Paddles?
Last time we featured table tennis, the conversation focused on female players dressing sexier to attract more fans. But now, a pair of 14-year-old identical twins from Brooklyn are going to save the sport the old-fashioned way: with their paddles!...

"No Clowns Allowed Beyond This Point"
The new Yankee Stadium security measures are terribly draconian — unless, of course, you're Chris Berman, the newly appointed ringleader of the circus....

Carmelo Isn't Interested In Your High-Fives
Call this a hunch, but it seems Carmelo Anthony wasn't too happy after the Lakers' 103-97 win over the Nuggets in Game 3 last night in Denver. Something about losing the fourth quarter by 14 points and fouling out on (another!) lazy inbounds pass....

There's No Crying With Amazing Happening
A Denver hooligan went out on a two-block strip to deface some innocent stop signs after the Nuggets lost Game 1 to the Lakers last Tuesday. It is not known whether this hooligan acted alone or whether he was part of a larger hooligan conspiracy. He is still at large....

"Wouldn't It Be Amazing If LeBron Saved Our Season?"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...