br Page 940 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is Why Football Does Not Have Innings
A ridiculous experiment in "inning-based" football degenerated into a bench-clearing, crowd-rioting brawl, all because former Michigan quarterback Todd Collins does not understand the basic principles of clock management....
Uh Oh, Cleveland
No one is saying the city of Cleveland should be panicking right now, but it does seem like hoarding canned goods and putting your life savings into mason jars would not be the worst idea in the world. All is ... not well....
Guess Who's Back...Back Again
‘When I was playing every week, I bitched about the little things. Like, God, we've got to go outside today? It's raining! Or, why is Bill dunking the ball in soap? Or, why do we have a meeting at 7:30 to talk about everything we've already talked about." [SI]...
Chinese Investors Eye Stake In Cavs, Signifying Something Or Other About LeBron
Over the weekend came news that a group of Chinese investors were looking to buy a 15 percent stake in the Cleveland Cavaliers. This is a big deal, not least because it would mean the Chinese now own most of our debt and a share of our favorite basketball player....
But Do They Use Flex-o-Lite Paddles?
Last time we featured table tennis, the conversation focused on female players dressing sexier to attract more fans. But now, a pair of 14-year-old identical twins from Brooklyn are going to save the sport the old-fashioned way: with their paddles!...
"No Clowns Allowed Beyond This Point"
The new Yankee Stadium security measures are terribly draconian — unless, of course, you're Chris Berman, the newly appointed ringleader of the circus....
Carmelo Isn't Interested In Your High-Fives
Call this a hunch, but it seems Carmelo Anthony wasn't too happy after the Lakers' 103-97 win over the Nuggets in Game 3 last night in Denver. Something about losing the fourth quarter by 14 points and fouling out on (another!) lazy inbounds pass....
There's No Crying With Amazing Happening
A Denver hooligan went out on a two-block strip to deface some innocent stop signs after the Nuggets lost Game 1 to the Lakers last Tuesday. It is not known whether this hooligan acted alone or whether he was part of a larger hooligan conspiracy. He is still at large....
"Wouldn't It Be Amazing If LeBron Saved Our Season?"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Brett Favre Victimized By Improv Comedy Group
New York Giants lineman David Diehl makes his comedy club debut by mocking Brett Favre—and doing a pretty good job of it, actually. It was such a spot on impersonation that he even told his jokes to the wrong audience. Video below....
A Closer Look At Michael Strahan's <i>Brothers</i>
Any comedy show staring some who has played for the New York Giants in automatically funny, of course, but what exactly can you expect from Michael Strahan's new Fox sitcom? I've just seen the first trailer, so let's break it down, shall we?...
Royals Fans Turn Children's Playground Into Thunderdome
Two couples started an all-out brawl at a Kansas City Royals game on Sunday after a woman walked in front another woman as she was taking a picture, a breech of etiquette that clearly deserves a head stomping. If a few kids got hurt along the way, that's just business....
That Wasn't Supposed To Happen Was It?
The Cavaliers had been sitting for eight days after sweeping the first two rounds, but that didn't seem to matter when they rolled out to a 15-point lead in the first half. Then the second half happened, and somehow when the final buzzer sounded LeBron and company were not ahead on the scoreboard. W...
Wife Of Pitcher Scott Schoeneweis Found Dead
Gabrielle Dawn Schoeneweis, the wife of Arizona Diamondbacks reliever Scott Schoeneweis, was found unconscious in the family's home today and sheriff's deputies were unable to revive her when they arrived. No cause of death has been determined yet. She was 39. Terrible news. [Arizona Republic]...
Amy Mickelson Diagnosed With Cancer
Phil Mickelson has suspended his PGA Tour schedule indefinitely after learning that his wife, Amy, has breast cancer. He has withdrawn from the next two events and she will likely have surgery in the coming days. [Star-Telegram]...
Enjoy Your Lettuce Wraps, Courtesy Of Briny Baird
The golfer hit a 230-yard, 34-story-high shot into Petco Park and won all of America free lettuce wraps from P.F. Chang's. Nice try, China—I'm not falling for that again. [SteadyBurn; Devil Ball Golf]...
James Harrison Has A Fear Of Flying, Not Of White House
Just when James Harrison became 1000% scarier due to his seemingly bizarre decision and reasoning to not visit the White House with his Steeler teammates, we find out he's not the anti-authoritarian lunatic we thought....
A Match Made In Barley And Hops
"Hi fellow brewer fans, I am getting married in August and since both of us are diehard crew fans, we are having a brewers themed wedding." Stop right there. Where are you registered and should I bring bottles or cans? [Wrigleyville23]...