br Page 942 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Just Give Your Car Keys To Aaron Brooks And He'll Park It For You
Either the Houston Rockets veterans had a little fun with Aaron Brooks this weekend or he forgot to bring his ventriloquist dummy to the post-game press conference....

Three Faces Of Boston Fandom
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Rockets and Lakers: It's About To Get Nasty
After losing yet another starter, the Rockets are about to try to prove that they can win without Yao. If Ron Artest can keep himself from getting ejected, they might have a shot....

A Very Special Guest Editor Goodbye
Alright, time to shut this thing down....

Matt Garza and Bristol Palin Would Like To Talk To You About Teen Pregnancy
Yesterday, afternoon there was an important town hall meeting to help kids say no to teen pregnancy. (Not cool, Kids!) If a Tampa Bay Ray and a governor's daughter can't set youngsters straight, who can?...

Is Brett Favre Coming Back Out Of Spite?
You didn't think you were getting away with zero Brett Favre news today did you? My favorite angle of the saga? Favre only wants to play again so he can screw with Ted Thompson....

Ron Artest Once Saw A Guy Get Stabbed In The Heart (UPDATE: For Real)
The NBA Playoffs are getting very chippy—even more so—but at least no one has been murdered on court with a broken table leg yet. Because Ron Artest would hate to see that happen....again....

Here's Your General Housekeeping DUAN (N)
Some things of varying importance that need to be addressed. So DUAN seems the most appropriate post to do so since I've already lost your attention until tomorrow morning. It's time to purge....

Toledo Athletes Accused Of Point Shaving
Six basketball and football players from the University of Toledo and two men from the Detroit area have been indicted on charges of "conspiracy to commit sports bribery" for shaving points between 2004 and 2006....

Mr. Magary Anxiously Awaits The Arrival Of Brett Favre To His Beloved Vikings
Isn't it great when a player you always rooted for and admired joins your favorite team? Your love of sports is emboldened. This is not one of those instances. [KSK]...

Soccer Player Killed By Lightning, Then Goes On With His Life
Here's another story of deceased soccer fans, only this one has a happy ending, because the kid in question was lucky enough to be raised from the dead....

And Here We Go Again....Brett Favre-To-Vikings Rumors Get Werder-Ized
Last year's Summer Of Favre hijacked the sports media universe, and this year is shaping up to be more of the same, possibly worse: Yes, Brett Favre is talking to the Vikings....

Walk Off Homer Disallowed By Premature Hand Slapping
It's one thing to be a stickler for the rules, it's another to be a stickler who protests a perfectly legit home run because of an obscure, pointless rule—and doesn't even read the rule right....

Is It Hot In Here Or Is My Head On Fire?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Carlos Zambrano Needs A Timeout
The Big Z is going on the 15-day DL with a bad hamstring. Should Cubs fans panic? Should they start beheading farm animals? Or get drunk and embrace the Jeff Samardzija Era. [Sun-Times]...

Sorry Ladies: Bruce Pearl Is Off The Market!
Hearts are a-breakin' all across the Smokies today as Bruce Pearl has announced that he's affianced to lady friend Brandy Miller. Do they sell creamsicle-colored tuxedo shirts? [Knoxville News Sentinel]...

Trevor Hoffman's Music Scares The Crap Out Of Ken Macha
The Brewers manager says he hides in the bathroom when his closer enters the game, because Hoffman's entrance music is just too darn loud. Or maybe it's the new Japanese seat warmers? [ESPN; game notes]...

MVP Award May Finally Earn LeBron James Some Publicity
The Plain-Dealer says LeBron James will be named the MVP today. He also wins a new Kia, which is awesome because I hear his Datsun pickup is rusted out. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]...