br Page 971 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Like Zombies And Hillary Clinton, Brett Favre Will Not Go Away
It would almost be worth going through a whole new cycle of Brett-Favre-is-unretiring stories to see him in a Chicago Bears uniform in 2009. I said almost. According to Leroy Butler as reported by MSNBC, Favre wants to play this coming season, but not with the Packers. But then, with whom?...
Tyler Hansbrough Regrets NOTHINGGGGGG!!!!!!
Via 850: The Buzz and The Big Lead, here's North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough jumping off a roof into (hopefully) a pool....
Larry Brown, Moving Again
Forgive us for not posting the flashing alert siren on the top of the site now that Larry Brown is heading to the land of Charlotte. This will be his ninth NBA job, which is pretty insane; did Chris Gatling even bounce around that much? The real shock is that there was no Lupica column about it this...
Costas Now Airs Tonight, 10 P.M. Eastern. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
All right, as you might have heard, we'll be appearing live on Costas Now tonight on HBO, at 10 p.m. ET. Theoretically, this will be a roundtable discussion between ourselves, Costas, the outstanding writer (if not necessariliy sabermetrically inclined) Buzz Bissinger and Cleveland Browns wide recei...
Once Again, As Long As It's Not Crosspromoted With Bat Day
We wrote about this last year, but as long as they're having it, we're going to promote it. Get thee to Miller Park, ASAP, folks: It's free prostate exams at Miller Park day! Turn your head and cough for Dr. Bernie Brewer!...
Big Surprises In Denver! (But Not Really)
The NBA Closer is written by Kyra Sedgwick ... I mean, Matt McHale, would be pretty happy to see more basketball and fewer promos from TNT, thank you very much. When he's hating on TNT's internal marketing campaign, he can be found skipping to his lou at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
Bron-Shawn Basketball Beef Gets Hip-Hop Glaze
With Game 4 of the Wizards-Cavs series about to tip off in the Verizon Center comes the news via The Washington Post's (Boooooooo!) Wizards Insider blog that the overcooked rivalry between LeBron James and DeShawn Stevenson has extended into the hip-hop arena. It all started with Queen James waving ...
1st Round, Twelveth Overall: Broncos Select Ryan Clady
Clady is the first football player ever to leave Boise State early. Why would anyone ever leave Boise early? Come to think of it, why would anyone go to Boise?...
Your Weekend Of Name Recitation And Breathless Speculation Hath Arrived!
Yes, ESPN's draft coverage is underway, four hours before the Dolphins shock the world by picking Jake Long. Now they're saying Chris Long is going to the Rams. Let's tip all the picks hours in advance. No reason to make it so people actually watch the draft. For those who stick around, choose betwe...
Tom Brady Is Out Of The Closet And Bent On Murder
Anyone watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit? Apparently Tuesday's episode involved a thinly disguised version of Tom Brady, who was a gay quarterback implicated in a murder. Sample dialogue: "Lincoln Haver is gay? I thought he was dating Natasha Gorski, that hot supermodel." "You can't blame Linc...
Favre To Grace Cover Of Madden '09, It Seems
This not-so-wild speculation courtesy of GameDaily — and seemingly confirmed Awful Announcing and by us, through a source who was at the Letterman taping that airs tonight — reveals that Brett Favre will be on the cover of the Madden 09....
Brazil's Ballooning Death Count
So, do you remember that time when you did one too many hits off the gravity bong and you decided to a walk outside to get some fresh air, but then you bugged out and ran back inside because you thought you saw a priest being carried away by a bunch of helium party balloons?...
Terrell Owens Disappears From Porn Film
Yesterday, as photos of what appeared to be Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens in the background of the BangBros. com's "Spring Break Ass" circulated, there were questions about whether or not it actually was the Terrell Owens. There were no mentions in any mainstream media outlets (except one) a...
Barry Zito Rules The Kingdom Of Fail
Barry Zito and the Giants; has there been a worse investment, ever? That SUV you bought in 2006, perhaps? The first 12 episodes of John From Cincinnati? You've got to hand it to him though; even after struggling through his suckiest performance of the season on Tuesday, he faced reporters afterward...
Flee To The Cleve Tonight, Everybody
The playoffs tip back off tonight, and after a weekend that brought us an amazing Suns-Spurs game and that fun 76ers upset — which we have a feeling will be like a lower-grade version of that Sixers-Lakers Finals: One inspiring win followed by a sweep — we are treated to two doozies tonight....
LeBron Overrated, Rated Over Gilbert Arenas
So the verbal barbs were barbered between Gilbert Arenas and LeBron James to christen the Wizards-Cavaliers series, although the counterbarbs by Cleveland were done not in words, but in second-half points. So Cleveland begins with the series lead after with a 93-86 victory in Game 1 of the NBA playo...
Free Darko On Cleveland-Washington
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....
Marty Brennaman Is Unlikely To Receive A Statue Outside Wrigley Field
Marty Brennaman has been the voice of the Cincinnati Reds since 1974, taking over for, of all people, Al Michaels. He's a legacy broadcaster, like the Bucks and the Carays; his son Thom is a FOX broadcaster, works with him in Cincinnati and was once a Cubs broadcaster. Oh, yes, the Cubs: It appears ...
Webb Rising, Zito Waning In The West
That sonic boom you heard in San Francisco on Wednesday was caused by pitchers Brandon Webb and Barry Zito. The former Cy Young winners are moving so quickly in opposite directions that the rapid heating and expansion of air has created enough pressure to cause explosive sound waves in China Basin....
Jeff Weaver Finds Himself A Home
Who says Scott Boras has lost it? Sure, he bombed out the Alex Rodriguez negotiations, and he ended up putting Kyle Lohse, the supposed top free agent pitching name, in St. Louis at an extreme discount. But look at what he's done with Jeff Weaver!...