br Page 991 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your British Open Preview
Hey, one of them "Major" "Championships" is going on in the whole golf world this weekend, the British Open. It's at the Carnoustie Golf Links, which is in Scotland, and as we all know, if it's not Scottish, it's crap....

The Braves Know What Their Fans Want
After all this super-secret-memo and banned-monologue business today, it's probably fitting to wrap matters up with something we can all come together on: BEER....

A Baby Name Which Will Cause No Future Embarrassment Whatsoever
When all is said and done, I blame the mom. When your last name is Karr, and dad comes up with the brilliant idea of naming the new baby Chevy, that's when you put your foot down, ladies. And you put it down hard ... on dad's genitals while he's sleeping, if necessary. And if he still insists, then ...

Everywhere You Look, Pants Parties
We had a grand time at the Philadelphia Pants Party this weekend; it was oddly less drunken than usual — might have been the crushing heat, or perhaps just the Mamula sandwiches — but as grand as we could have hoped. We are consistently amazed by how nice everyone is at all these; we've been to four...

Adam Laroche Knows Comedy
You know, it's really difficult to find a species of human being with a more refined sense of humor than a professional baseball player. Hell, the Padres all urinate on each other, after all....

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while you wait for Jemaine, Bret and Murray ... • Awards: ESPYS. $10 says Tomlinson wins four trophies. [ESPN] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 8. Amazing asphalt on this leg. [Versus] • Movie: Rocky V. Oh, it happened it, Bill. It. Happened. [ESPN Classic]...

Chandler In Tahoe: Tokyo Drift
I wasn't able to take a photo of it so I have no tangible proof, but I swear that this was one of the threesomes during Thursday's final day of practice at the American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament: Cheech Marin, Charles Barkley and Kevin Nealon. If this was part of God's plan, He has just been...

Chandler In Tahoe: The Kevin Costner Photo That Almost Wasn't
Not that this picture is enormously compelling or anything, but since it didn't show up in yesterday's post, I figured I'd try to work out the bugs and give it another shot. Too bad Mr. Costner didn't try the same thing with The Postman....

We Were All So Lame In The Early 90s
We don't mean to destroy the mystery surrounding the ESPYs — which taped last night and will be shown Sunday — but, well, co-host LeBron James did a song called "My LeBrongative." We're sure the rest of the evening's hilarity followed that pattern....

Platt Vs. Turturro, For All The Ham
If you haven't gotten brought up to speed on The Bronx Is Burning just yet, fret not: It's pretty easy to catch up. Oliver Platt yells, John Turturro yells, Sam shoots people, Reggie hits homers. (The Dugout recap sums it up rather well.)...

Chandler In Tahoe: Kevin Costner Always Takes Time For Cheerleaders
The Celeb/Am portion of the Lake Tahoe Celebrity Golf Tournament got underway on Tuesday at Edgewood Golf Course and look, kids! Kevin Costner! After watching Costner for nine holes, I'll go ahead and estimate that the special effects budget for Tin Cup was in the $400 million range....

Brady Quinn's Unskinny Bop
Thanks, Mondesi's House, for reminding us once again that there is absolutely nothing like a Brady Quinn photo. That's Bret Michaels. Of course it is....

Shockingly, The ESPN Movie Isn't Getting Great Reviews
We will confess, we have been, in spite of ourselves, kind of looking forward to the premiere of The Bronx Is Burning tonight. We know, ESPN's movies have been rather awful, and we are dealing with the guy who directed Benny And Joon....

About Last Night ...
• NASCAR: Jamie McMurray takes Pepsi 400 checkered flag by a bottleneck. • MLB: Rangers become hoist by the O's Bedard. Horsefly sex down 300%. • Horse Racing: Panty Raid wins Grade 1 American Oaks, several Tri-Lambdas seen with winning tickets....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you walk out a wiser, weaker man ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Nate "Glen" Campbell vs. Wilson "Home Improvement" Alcorro, at Tampa. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at San Diego. Petco's cavernous outfield no-man's land must be fed! [TBS] • Soccer: FIFA Under-20 World Cup, USA vs. Brazil, at O...

What Will Be Cut From This Year's ESPY Awards?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....