br Page 991 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights


You Can't Tell, But Howie Long Is Erect
If we know our average Deadspin reader, you were obviously watching "Fox & Friends" on the Fox News Channel this morning. But just in case ... Richard Simmons was hanging out with the FOX NFL Sunday crew. Finally, someone who makes Jimmy Johnson look well dressed, and Terry Bradshaw look less gay. ...

Our Rick Ankiel Weekend
It really has been bizarre to watch the reaction to Rick Ankiel's triumphant return to St. Louis as a power-hitting outfielder. We understand that it's an inspiring story — obviously — but it's still odd to see a guy we've been quietly stalking following for seven years now suddenly leading newscast...

Ride, Raghib Ride, Upon That Mystery Bull
The man you see on the right, riding the large coconut wedge is former NFL wide receiver Raghib Ismail, and he's just one of nine celebrities partially recognizable names partaking in a reality-based TV show called "Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge." (Note: When "celebrity" and "reality-b...


The Real Pennant Race Borders Lake Michigan
• Ha-Ha, My Win Cancels Out Your Win. Looks like the NL Central is the lone division that knows how to orchestrate a damn pennant race. The Chicago Cubs won 6-2 over the Colorado Rockies, and they remain just ½ game behind the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers also won, but with a smaller margin of vic...

Who's The Next Punter To Attempt To Kill Off His Competition?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

For One Magical Evening, The Great Potato Caper Lives Again
Time once again to root around in the world of minor league baseball with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

NFL Season Preview: Denver Broncos
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Drama At Shea Extends Over The Fence And Into The Clubhouse
Remember the old days in the NL East, when the Braves were pulling this crap on the Mets all the time? Willie Harris provided the heroics in the outfield and Chipper Jones the muscle in the clubhouse as Atlanta picked Mr. Met's pocket, 7-6. Harris leaped above the left-field fence to pull in Carlos ...

Chipper Jones Loves Jose Canseco
Chipper Jones has been know for his entire baseball career as a purveyor of wisdom, a rare voice of reason in a world of insanity. Dare we call him professorial? We do; we do dare....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while reading the Iliad, and skipping the Odyssey ... • MLB: Cubs urge everyone not to panic; the helicopters will be here soon to evacuate the women and children. • Tennis: Nikolay Davydenko wins opener at Rogers Cup in a match that certainly was not fixed by organized crime. • WNBA...

Judge: Brazilian Soccer Is Too Gay
Say what you will about the legal system in our country — we are a country governed by laws, and those laws are enforced by a man who gleefully lies, splendid, amazing, artistically blessed lies — but at least we don't have people like Manoel Maximiniano Junqueira Filho, a Brazilian judge....

Back When The Fielders Got Along
This might have something to do with it:...

Have Barry Bonds' Arms Really Not Grown?
Yesterday, Editor & Publisher, of all places, ran a column saying Barry Bonds' elbow brace gives him an unfair advantage. Over at Baseball Prospectus, Will Carroll follows up and stumbles onto a scoop of his own....

Glavine Gets His Zack Snyder On
We congratulate Tom Glavine on earning his 300th win last night. We also appreciate that he didn't drag it out too long; unlike some people, he hasn't taken so long that we find ourselves rooting for him to break a record we don't actually want him a break, just so everyone will be quiet....